From car I get out, and I face a porcine lout.
I know what he wants from the look in his sight,
And I know that I, in order to leave tonight. . .
Ply with dinero for "the bite."

¡Ay, la mordida! [mordida: bribe--literally, "the bite"]
His nest needs to be feathered;
If I don't cough up, I'll be fettered.
He's my "heir," and I've bequeathed.
¡Ay, la mordida!
I know that I've got to feed him,
Or I'm likely to be beaten.
Money in his wallet's sheathed.

I drive from his sight, then see another flashing light--
This time, it's a fat female cop. She smiles; her teeth shine.
She's morbidly outsized; big as a house--what delight!
Since I'm sin [without] dinero, can't ask to dine.

¡Ay, la Morbida!
Looks like Jumbo with feathers--
Girl wears a boa in hot weather.
She's lovely! Elephantine!
¡Muchas mordidas!
Must she over years have eaten.
In my eyes, she can't be beaten.
La gordita of my dreams.

["Gordita": contraction of "gorda bonita," beautiful fat woman]