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Song Parodies -> "Nineteen Merchants in a Shakedown"

Original Song Title:

"Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown"

Original Performer:

Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Nineteen Merchants in a Shakedown"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Nineteen Merchants in a Shakedown

He's the kind of person
You meet at worst political affairs.
Center of the crowd—incoherent, loud
Tellin' people life's unfair.
Well, he's changed a lot—and for the worse—over 30-plus years
Now when he cries, look in his eyes:
He sheds crocodile tears.

I wish he'd stop.
But he gets 'round.
Here he comes, here he comes, here he comes, here he comes:
Got nineteen merchants in a shakedown.

'Fore he was reviled,
He treated folks kind,
But then on one hot Memphis night.
With emotions roiled, he made the most noise,
Then he hogged the limelight.
And today it he selects you, be warned: he wants millions, Jack.
He'll harass you till you cough up just to get him off your back.

I wish he'd stop.
But he gets 'round.
Here he comes, here he comes, here he comes, here he comes:
Got nineteen merchants in a shakedown.

You are to blame—the name of his game.
That's how he gets rich—better than work.
Protesting only makes matters worse. You're squeezed.

He's seen as uncool
Though he can still fool
You to think that he's kind.
But watch out, Jack! Don't turn your back!
He's out to rob you blind.

Some day he'll slip
And wind up in jail, or at least get fined.
Till then, if you're in business, he sees you as a gold mine.

I wish he'd stop.
But he gets 'round.
Here he comes, here he comes, here he comes, here he comes:
Got nineteen merchants in a shakedown.

Got nineteen merchants in a shakedown.
Got nineteen merchants in a shakedown.
Got nineteen merchants in a shakedown.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   0
 0
 0
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ashkicksass - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
This is one of my favorite Stone's songs, and you did a wonderful job with it. All 5's.
John Barry - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ash. Likewise one of my favorites. All in all, I prefer their earlier stuff.
Paul Robinson - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
John, I thought I made a comment here, but I don't see it. I voted earlier (4-5-5, I couldn't match the pace in some places, although that could be my memory). I enjoyed your "Merchant/Department Store" theme today.
MrMacphisto - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Very clever....
Johnny D - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Missed this one first time 'round ... great job, JB.

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