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Song Parodies -> "99 Wretched Tunes"

Original Song Title:

"99 Red Balloons"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"99 Wretched Tunes"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Gonna try to crank out a whole lot,
Even if I make it, think my nerves will be shot.
Gonna be up each night till dawn,
Till my ephedra is gone.
Songs are base; lyrics are threadbare.
Got no messages; I don't care.
"Whose idea was this?!" I cry,
99 wretched tunes to try?!"

99 wretched tunes. . .
Try to write for amiright.
Panic wells and my head hurts.
Got tinnitus; I'm hearing bells.
My wife tells me, "Get a life!"
As she stares at my red eyes
After my tenth shot of rye
To help me 99 tunes to ply.

99 decisions; each
One can't be sweet as a peach.
I hurry, eyes blurry, tongue furry
Only two! I start to worry.
When will I make it to four?
20 percent of a score?
Better think up some more lines--
99 wretched tunes to grind.

99 hours--less!--to prepare. . .
Write stupid rhymes, dreck; all-nighters.
I am in a stupor; zero
Inspiration in brain lurks.
Endorphins must intensify,
To get me high; intensely try,
Stop rambling, not go awry,
99 tunes, not let brain fry.

"99 Beers," yes it's sad,
So far, that is my best tune.
If that's the best I can do, it's sh*tty--
Must write a song 'bout a kitty.
I had better get groovin' here,
Or else pop another beer,
Write another wretched tune
I hope that the next one won't blow.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   7

User Comments

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stuart mcarthur - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
nice insight into the whole exercise, and what an outrageous stance for your wife to take - 555
Johnny D - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
5s, and bravo, JB! Before today's posting, I submitted a parody of the same OS called "99 J. B. Tunes" --- it's a tribute to your Herculean feat --- perhaps Chucky will post it on Monday.
MasonR - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
"My wife tells me, "Get a life!""--yup, mine too. I'm truly in awe of your accomplishment...congratulations on your hot 100!
John Barry - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stuart, JD, Mason. I look forward to your "99," JD.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
*handstanding ovation*
PMS - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Outstanding! And I stand corrected! When I first saw all the songs with JAB as author, I emailed Chucky G thinking someone had messed with the site. I said, "As prolific as JAB is, I doubt even he is capable of such productivity", Boy is my face red!
John Barry - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Luke, PMS--thank you.
Tim Mayfield - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Good thing JAB didn't write all 99 to this tune, we'd have to boycott. ;-)
Michael Pacohlek - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
A GRAND idea? Considering I was a very long shot to be the next to hit a thousand (or should I say BAT 1.000?), I have to be impressed at the quantity. Now let's see about the quality...

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