-> "Pretty Watch Fob"
Original Song Title:
"Gritty Tough Job"
Parody Song Title:
"Pretty Watch Fob"
Fixed on pants and never too short, timepiece mooring,
marvelous, it complements monocled eye.
Love to haul it from my pocket, this lock-watch chain.
The mechanical device tracks time gone by.
(The blackbirds: 24 in pie
Rather showy, looks very smart, fine to a fault.
And “Get it where?” you might ask. Well, I remark:
over there on the square, a shop so rare
that it sells naught but best haute wares,
unlike K-Mart, Costco, Sears, or Target.
Its beauty, you must admit: sumptuous yet stark.
It is back to the Gilded Age that it harks!
Pretty watch fob, nice attraction, fine workmanship.
Decimated would be your gelt, so don’t start!
It is beyond your purse’s poor powers—
more than change spare for this great fare.
Luxury comes to me—life just ain’t fair
Ornamentation not for you—eat out your heart!
You are not gonna find stuff like this at Wal-Mart,
especially if you drive and park in a Dodge Dart
(you’ll note: subliminal ads of this tune are part.)
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