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Song Parodies -> "Cold-Tank Wine"

Original Song Title:

"Auld Lang Syne"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Cold-Tank Wine"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Should oak and ML* be forgot,
and then what do you find?
A bold vintage that has been wrought.
this cold-tank wine.

For cold-take wine is here;
bold cold-tank wine.
It’s fermented in stainless vats,
fine cold-tank wine.

And surely I’ll raise high my cup—
well, glass; it’s not a stein.
It’s purely made in stainless, that
is, cold-tank wine.

For cold-tank wine we cheer,
bold cold-tank wine.
It’s not made inside oaken slats,
fine cold-tank wine.

I sip until I start to swill…
but still not out of line.
It is not boringly butterscotch smooth,
the cold-tank wine.

For cold-tank tastes clear;
perhaps some notes of pine?
It does not taste like oaken slats,
fine cold-tank wine.

I’m getting addled as it streams
down chin…nose starts to shine.
Before too long, I overgorge
on cold-tank wine.

Now cold-tank wine in tiers
below you’ll find
in puddles on the table’s slats
spilled cold-tank wine.

I’m a fan of this trusty blend,
but hand and mouth aren’t aligned.
The result is a lot of splash
of cold-tank wine.
Now cold-tank wine is smeared
all over shoes that shine.
I’ve had too much, so out I pass.
Out cold am I.



*malolactic fermentation

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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