-> "Semple Preacher"
Original Song Title:
Parody Song Title:
Semple preacher, snakeoil preacher, made a fortune
taking in the simple souls—the dough up piled.
She mined the vein, told an insane tale of torture.
Her “kidnapping” scam got some people quite riled.
(Her con job now mostly reviled.)
Model for Sister Sharon was Semple preacher
in “Elmer Gantry,” where Simmons played the part.
Glossolalia among Sharon’s “magic.”
Took ’em in there, on that stage where
she faked Christian passion, snakeoil preacher.
She was unmasked, made comeback—then a fire did start.
End of snakeoil preacher; Elmer departs.
Semple a progenitor of snakeoil preachers. . .
Falwell, Robertson, Hinn—once you get a start
the list goes on and on, and it’s tragic—
boobs are out there, waiting to share
their hard-earned dough with some snakeoil preacher.
As Bridges said: a fool and his money soon part.*
* Dr. John Bridges, Defence of the Government of the Church of England, 1587: “If they pay a penie or two pence more for the reddinesse of them. . .let them looke to that, a foole and his money is soone parted.”
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