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Song Parodies -> "Semple Preacher"

Original Song Title:

"Sexy Preacher"

Original Performer:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

Parody Song Title:

"Semple Preacher"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

1920s revivalist con artist Aimee Semple McPherson, who claimed to have been kidnapped and tortured and was later charged with obstruction of justice for failing in court to answer questions about her mysterious disappearance, was the model for Sister Sharon Falconer (Jean Simmons) in the 1960 film version of Sinclair Lewis’s “Elmer Gantry.” Also the model for Big Sister in Nathaniel West’s “Day of the Locust.” And for preacher Eli Sunday in the 2007 film “There Will Be Blood,” based on Lewis’s “Oil.” Among others.
Semple preacher, snakeoil preacher, made a fortune
taking in the simple souls—the dough up piled.
She mined the vein, told an insane tale of torture.
Her “kidnapping” scam got some people quite riled.

(Her con job now mostly reviled.)

Model for Sister Sharon was Semple preacher
in “Elmer Gantry,” where Simmons played the part.
Glossolalia among Sharon’s “magic.”
Took ’em in there, on that stage where
she faked Christian passion, snakeoil preacher.
She was unmasked, made comeback—then a fire did start.

End of snakeoil preacher; Elmer departs.

Semple a progenitor of snakeoil preachers. . .
Falwell, Robertson, Hinn—once you get a start
the list goes on and on, and it’s tragic—
boobs are out there, waiting to share
their hard-earned dough with some snakeoil preacher.
As Bridges said: a fool and his money soon part.*

* Dr. John Bridges, Defence of the Government of the Church of England, 1587: “If they pay a penie or two pence more for the reddinesse of them. . .let them looke to that, a foole and his money is soone parted.”

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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John Barry - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
"Oil" was written by Upton Sinclair, not Sinclair Lewis as noted.
Rob Arndt - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Well done JAB-555! I will hit ya back with #16 on Monday. So how far do you wanna go? Dp we have any number goals???
John Barry - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rob. I'd say say keep going until the novelty wears off or one one/both of us poops out.
Patrick - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Don't know this song, but I'd always watch "Elmer Gantry" because they kept playing "Battle Hymn of the Republic" at the revival meetings. My parents thought the movie was too "adult" for me, but all the sexual innuendos went over my head when I was 10 years old. I just liked the music. McPherson's disappearance and subsequent return seems to me to be the beginning of all the stories about celebrities such as John Kennedy and Elvis Presley not really being dead, but just in hiding.

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