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Song Parodies -> "Tipsy, Tanked, Three Sheets"

Original Song Title:

"Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cher

Parody Song Title:

"Tipsy, Tanked, Three Sheets"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I sold "corn" from a wagon, that traveled where drunks go,
My clients, like me, were a clique of crocked sots, so. . . .
Potted, we'd booze whatever we could.
Leechin' on a bottle
Of good grain alcohol or that from wood.

"Tipsy," "tanked," "three sheets
To the wind," "drunk," "inebriated," "souse,"
They called us "dipsos," "smashed," "weak-kneed,"
"Crapulous," "tight," "blotto"; but each henpecked spouse
Can't take drinks in his house.

Lips on carboy;* mouth primed for mo' weal.
It's dinner time--fill me with a shots meal.
I quaffed 16 beers, then plenty drunk--
Rolled to room where men piss
And plopped those processed shots
In the sad sink, where they sunk.

"Shitfaced," "tanked," "on spree,"
"Out of it," "bombed," "intoxicated," "ploughed,"
They called us "lit," "steamed," "trashed," "alchie,"
"Pickled," "pie-eyed," "potted," "rummy," "sot," "boozehound."
We're laying on the ground.

High, every day droolin' at shots from the well;
Swig Comfort, Southern--vile!
Three sheets, wasted, and I'm seein' double
And I haven't peed in a long while, uh oh!
In pants I pee; wet, yet I smile.

I was borne in a wagon with a "paddy" logo;
I's tryin' in the back seat to stanch the log, so. . .
Gambled that in my state I could
Breach my cheeks for gas 'xpel,
But I lost; the cop trilled, "That don't smell good!"

Drippy, rank release
Breached turd was leached and started leakin', brown.
Appalling, sticky, stank, can't cease,
Unebbing shite got me drenched, dreck runnin' down
And made a lumpy mound.



*a glass or plastic vessel used in fermenting beverages such as wine, mead, and beer

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Mayfield - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Truly a parody only John Barry could do. This one is top-notch! So, this thesaurus walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" The thesaurus says, "I'll have a scotch, whiskey, gin, rum, libation, beer, wine, cooler, potion, alcoholic beverage, intoxicant, liquor, spirit, devil's brew, moonshine, vodka, distilled thunder..."
Michael Pacholek - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I wash gonna give thish a five, but I couldn't shee my way to the computer. So this guy's walking down the street, and he sees a sign saying "The Psychic Saloon." He walks into the bar, and the bartender says, "What'll it be?" And the guy says, "You know what I drink." You don't like that one? How about this: Hannibal Lecter walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Name your poison." And Lecter says, "You must have me confused with someone else."
Ann hammond - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
alvin - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
my fave of the day...you thoroughly covered the subject
AFW - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I Cher with you, three fives
John Barry - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Tim, Michael, Ann, Alvin, AFW. Prost.
stuart mcarthur - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I was trying to think of something as funny as what Tim wrote, and then I read Tim's comment - sums it up, John BarRoget - 555
Below Average Dave - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, I'm not trying to come up with something as funny as what Tim wrote, but great parody. . ""Out of it," "bombed," "intoxicated," "ploughed,"" Great job on an interesting OS

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