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Song Parodies -> "Turbinado, Please"

Original Song Title:

"Turning Japanese"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Vapors

Parody Song Title:

"Turbinado, Please"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I've got some strictures 'bout what I'll do
When I'm at luncheon and sweets ensue.
My vittles sparing. . .angst, a glycemic taboo.
The only color I'll dare is brown--
Only pure cane's what I'll have around.
I've got a sweet tooth
That wears my enamel down.

I've got some strictures; I've got restrictions.
I must restrict, sure, what is coursin' round my cells.
I need a doctor to do a stick here
So he can look up my glucose le-vels.

He'll use no tourniquet; my blood rebounds.
And terse I'm not with screaming sounds.

Just turbinado, please,
I think nice turbinado, please,
In meals and drinks, bro. . . .

No secs,
No glugs
Of wine
No Twinkies

No gum
No gin,
No hooch
Just sugar that's dark.

Everywhere around me lurks refined danger
Everywhere I look for my favorite: cane pure.
I just want turbinado, please. . . .

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

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alvin - January 26, 2008 - Report this comment
sad and funny at the same time
littleCupCakes - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
That means cupcakes are off the list too, Sir!!

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