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Song Parodies -> "Don’t Fence Me In (The Pit Bull’s Lament)"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Fence Me In"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bing Crosby

Parody Song Title:

"Don’t Fence Me In (The Pit Bull’s Lament)"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

In the latest Bay Area pit bull mauling (there seems to be one every week), an unleashed PB attacked three people in Golden Gate Park.
I’ll rip your hand off; your hand
Will be flapping like a glove.
Don’t fence me in.
Let me bite through your thigh—
Opening veins, what I love.
Don’t fence me in.
Let me be from a whelp a teeth-cleaver beast,
Rippin’ up a mama when her tot’s been deceased,
Drenched in blood forever in a ghastly feast.
Don’t fence me in.

Just turn me loose,
Let me straddle gram, who’s addled.
Sunder teeth. . .her feckless cry—
Hey, why try goose?!
Rend ’er liver as I sieve ’er,
And the jug’s fountain spouts high.

I want to bite off nose bridge. . .
Where the rent commences,
Graze on ’em. . .chew till they ooze like menses.
Can’t take a gobble if I’m behind fences—
Don’t fence me in.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mark Scotti - July 12, 2010 - Report this comment
This one "bites"...LOL! Fivers
The Comedian (a.k.a. Johnny D) - July 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Sure to be a hit on radio station WOOF!
Christie Marie M - July 12, 2010 - Report this comment
This part reminds of this Toy Story scene in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcK_L8HazFw&feature=related in 8:27. Anyways, that's one vicious dog. His bite is sure worse than his bark on this one! Sink your teeth in 5's!
LadyLoveAPup - July 12, 2010 - Report this comment
ohhhh, CaptainJack de Barker, along with CowboyDave, are folks who can never truly be 'fenced in' . . .
Bilbopooh - July 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Yikes - that's some pretty scary stuff! Great, albeit grotesque, fit with the OS!
Guy - July 13, 2010 - Report this comment
JAB - You ain't lying about the fence part. A few years ago, Nov. 2007 to be precise, my next door neighbor's pit nailed me on the leg. She chomped me right through the privacy fence. De Fence provided no De Fense.

I wrote a parody about it. "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet became "Has She Been To The Vet." I have Border Collies. Owning a Border Collie is like owning a dolphin. Owning a pit bull is like owning a shark. The pit's name was "Sweety Pie" and I kid you not. 5 K-9's.for this one.
John Barry - July 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Many thanks, all.

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