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Song Parodies -> "Don't Fry Your Member"

Original Song Title:

"Try to Remember (from The Fantasticks)"

Original Performer:

Harvey Schmidt/Tom Jones

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Fry Your Member"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Don't Fry Your Member

Don't fry your member over the fire's embers
When you use it to toast marshmallows.
Don't fry your member over the fire's embers,
You'll scream in pain and you will bellow.
Don't fry your member over the fire's embers
Or you'll be as hot as hell, fellow.
Don't fry your member; you might be dismembered. . .
Sans phallo.

Phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo. . . .

Don't fry your member; at best, 'twill be tender.
It will swell like a sail and billow.
Don't fry your member; at best, 'twill be tender.
You'll have to rest it on a pillow.
Don't fry your member; at best, 'twill be tender,
At worst you will find that it's nil-o.
Don't fry your member; you might be dismembered. . .
Sans phallo.

Phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo, phallo. . . .

If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member.
The hole below will be so hollow.
If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member.
You'll be Venus and not Apollo.
If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member.
I suppose that you could use a d*ldo.
If you're dismembered, you cannot re-member. . . .
Sans phallo.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, okay, 5's for the line "You'll be Venus and not Apollo"!
Dee Range - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
This reminds me of a friend of mine who played 54 holes of golf on a sunny, 103 degree day and drank 24 beers in the process. He told me he peed about thirty times, out in the open air, and the next day found he had sunburned his dick! Good job John, 5's
Claude Prez - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I can really relate to this since I always have trouble finding a stick to toast marshmallows with, and invariably end up roasting a weenie instead. Okay, not really but it was funny; I also thought the Venus/ Apollo line stood out.
alvin rhodes - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
i'm stickin' to bent clothes hangers....5s
John Barry - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, you toasters.
Kristof Robertson - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Unggghhh....twas very good....555
Michael Pacholek - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
A "toast" to this week's winner of the Johnny D Award for Best Phallic Parody.
Guy - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody is a "weiner" in my book. Funny. Well done.

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