This is the reel life
Of two-reel comedy
That has two slapped guys
Who are named Curly and Larry.
Poking in their eyes,
The high poobah, Moe; he
Sure cuffs those poor boys (poor boys) and shows no empathy:
He doles out beatings, eyes, beatings, nose,
Hits ’em high, hits ’em low—
They’re the id, the ego, superego, respectively.

Moe never killed a man,
But he’s punched ’em in the head,
So his pals view him with dread.
Moe rarely gets a crunch,
But when he does, it’s retribution day.

Manic dude: “Woo-woo-woo!”
Ironically, he’s small fry,
Younger bro’ of Moe, Shemp with forehead furrows.
Banging on, banging on is Moe atop their gray matter.

His “Woo” mate is kinda dumb;
His voice a high-pitched whine,
Body achin’. . .Moe’s unkind.
Got a heavy body, but don’t move slow. . .
Getting beatings all the time for ways uncouth,
Maunders “Woo-woo-woo-woo!”
(Curly is the k/id bro.)
He might throw a pie,
With lots of creamy custard adorn them all.

We see a big and silly fellow with the chant
Starts with “Woo,” starts with “Woo,” “Woo-woo-woo!”
This man’s rant goes.
Plumper dolt then’s biting very very frighteningly.

Gal to lay? No! Gal to lay? No!
Gal to lay? No! Gal to lay? No!
Gal to lay? No! Frigging? No!
Glam chicks nix schmoe.

Then there’s the dour boy whose name is Larry,
Perhaps a dour boy. . .not in the family,*
But sometimes rife with much pomposity.
Weasly one, weasly schmoe. . .also decked by Moe.

Chinchilla, the “ego” is decked by Moe,
Decked by Moe, Chinchilla-like fur, he’s decked by Moe,
Decked by Moe, Chin-chiller punch hurts, he’s decked by Moe,
Decked by blows from Moe, decked by Moe
The feckless schmoe is decked by Moe, decked by Moe.
“Ow!
“No mo’, Moe; no, Moe, no mo’!”

Oh, Moe’s a meanie, Moe’s a meanie; moaning is each perceived foe.
Beats well his buds
For their devilish and snide repartee,
Party,
Party.

[bridge-of-nose blow]

“So, you think you can poke your finger in my eye?!
So, you think you can club me and I won’t reply?!!
There’s no way that I will not join the fray—
Just gotta hit snouts, just gotta hit smiled mout’s. . .here!!!”

[hit hard, Moe’s blows]

“Woo-woo-woo-woo!”

Conking beans, gray matter
Of Curly, Larry;
Conking beans, gray matter, conking lean and fatter—
Justly?

Anyway, a chin blow.


*Moe, Shemp, and Curly Howard (né Horwitz) were brothers. Larry Fine (né Louis Feinberg) was unrelated.