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Song Parodies -> "What a Gob of Ungual Pus"

Original Song Title:

"What If God Was One of Us?"

Original Performer:

Joan Osborne

Parody Song Title:

"What a Gob of Ungual Pus"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

This is an antipodal follow-up to my earlier songs about thumb damage.
Thank god for the name: podiatry
These docs work on feet—not your face
Drop something on your toe—it can be gory,
Leading sometimes to narcotics ingestion.

Ow! Pods* make toes straight.
Ow! Make you walk good.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

What a gob of ungual* pus.
My toe throbs—it needs a truss.
Unwatched danger made me bust
The nail and the big-toe bone.

I'm at the pod's place.
"What does it look like?"
He asks, as he probes me.
And when he stops it give me such great relief
In my size 7; if he eases the pain,
He's worth his profits.

Ow! Pods make toes straight.
Ow! Make you walk good.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

What a gob of ungual pus.
My toe throbs—it needs a truss.
Unwatched danger made me bust
The nail and the big-toe bone.
The nail and the big-toe bone.
Broken size 7 makes me moan.
When it first snapped, I fell down, prone.
But there's hope I'll still lope and roam.

[Repeat last two verses]


*Pods: abbreviation of podiatrists; ungual: referring to nails, claws, hoofs.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   4
 3
 3
 

User Comments

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Song Title Cop - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
The original song is just titled "One Of Us." ("What If God Was" is not part of the title.) Aside from that, the parody itself was good.
Poopie Longstocking - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Brilliant, original, and clever --- a parody about "Toe Poop"! Another great parody that rates 555 on the Poopie-Meter!
John Barry - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Cop, for the kind words and the clarification. Thanks, Poopie!
Johnny D - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Mmmm, toe jam...... 5's
Uky - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody is not about excrement, so Poopy can just shut the (blank) up. I'll bet that Aoid will eventually comment on it, since it deals with grossness.
John Barry - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, JD. Hope I didn't step on anyone's toes.
alvin rhodes - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
the parody was funny...the title has got to be one of the grossest of all time....i'm pleased

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