Song Parodies -> Lacks the Knife

Original Song Title:

"Mack the Knife"

Original Performer:

Bobby Darin

  
Parody Song Title:

"Lacks the Knife"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

"It was sharp, babe, and unsheathed, dear,
And honed for you, girl, ex-wife."

This time. . .lacks knife. Trophy-jack thief, here.
He ain't snuffing, no, out a life.

You know, with that sharp knife. . .deceased the pair--
Scarlet billows then did spread.
Lost one glove, though, which decreased the pair.
Bodies severed, severed off from the heads.

He did no time--walked.

No way!

Truth subornin', uh huh,
Despite bodies just oozin' life.

Now he's sneaked into a hotel;
Guests have much luck--he lacks the knife.

He'd gone for jug'. . .throat (cut, cut, cut)
Both of them riven. . .let him go.
Then his lament gag, "If I Did It," went down.
Oh, that "lament" was just done to get paid. Clear:
Guy has got a yen for bad taste lacking bounds.

Now we've heard that lose-nut killer, he just appeared, crazed,
In a drawin' room, hoping to get cash
He could spend after quick sale o'
Mem'rabilia, off with which he'd dash.

All he says is just jive, pure; this man is spooky, tawdry.
Dude's got a lotta chutzpah; he croaked beauty Brown.

Might do time for night escapade
In that tacky Vegas town.

Two folks would be alive, but dude cleaved bodies.
Kook lout shows a lotta chutzpah, this bold loony clown

Might do time for non-knife charade;
'bout-town whack job might go down.

(tritones on trombones)

Look out! O.' hacky's back!!
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Voting Results
Pacing: 5.0
 
How Funny: 5.0
 
Overall Rating: 5.0
 

Total Votes: 8
Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   8
 
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User Comments Follow...

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alvin - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
great job on a tough tune to pace
Jason - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
This is excellent! I'd love to write a 'Mack The Knife' parody!
Michael Pacholek - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
If the pacing does fit, and the humor is a great bit, the fives we must submit.
John Barry - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Jason, Michael.
AFW - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Right on the money with current events...OJ seems to love negative publicity
Ann Hammond - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
like it
Tommy Turtle - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
You nailed him - let's hope the courts do so this time, too. Loved the syllable-matching on "mornin'/subornin'" and "Lucy Brown/"beauty (Nicole) Brown".

I did a "Juice, The Knife" parody of TOS after the murder trial, but it was kind of obsolete to submit by the time I came here. Good job all around.
TJC - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Another great one! 'Spooky Tawdry' truly inspired sub IMO. How do you do it day after day? Is savantdom all it's cracked up to be?
John Jenkins - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
What Tommy Turtle said (at least in his first paragraph).
Agrimorfee - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
How Kurt and Veill of you to take on this story! :) 555 of course
Spaff.com - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Intricate wordplay as usual, Johnglebarry. "Mack the Knife" is apparently the intuitive parody match for the OJ story; in addition to yours, I found two versions of "OJ the Knife" on the site and, like Tommy Turtle, I've had "Juice the Knife" kicking around in my head for about a decade. I've never had a good reason to dust and polish it off, but now I'm tempted to.
TT - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Spaff, thanks for alerting me to the previous versions. I was going to dust mine off also, but one of the "OJ/knife" parodies here was close enough that I probably won't bother. (Then again, I might.) Yes, it was a very easy and obvious switch on the murder.

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The Hit Singles Collection album at Amazon.com

Aces Back to Back (Audio CD & DVD) album at Amazon.com

The Ultimate Bobby Darin album at Amazon.com

The Legendary Bobby Darin album at Amazon.com

Darin at the Copa album at Amazon.com

Live! At the Desert Inn album at Amazon.com

As Long As I'm Singing: The Bobby Darin Collection album at Amazon.com

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Mack The Knife - The Best Of Bobby Darin Volume Two album at Amazon.com
 
 
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