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Song Parodies -> "Lacks the Knife"

Original Song Title:

"Mack the Knife"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bobby Darin

Parody Song Title:

"Lacks the Knife"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

"It was sharp, babe, and unsheathed, dear,
And honed for you, girl, ex-wife."

This time. . .lacks knife. Trophy-jack thief, here.
He ain't snuffing, no, out a life.

You know, with that sharp knife. . .deceased the pair--
Scarlet billows then did spread.
Lost one glove, though, which decreased the pair.
Bodies severed, severed off from the heads.

He did no time--walked.

No way!

Truth subornin', uh huh,
Despite bodies just oozin' life.

Now he's sneaked into a hotel;
Guests have much luck--he lacks the knife.

He'd gone for jug'. . .throat (cut, cut, cut)
Both of them riven. . .let him go.
Then his lament gag, "If I Did It," went down.
Oh, that "lament" was just done to get paid. Clear:
Guy has got a yen for bad taste lacking bounds.

Now we've heard that lose-nut killer, he just appeared, crazed,
In a drawin' room, hoping to get cash
He could spend after quick sale o'
Mem'rabilia, off with which he'd dash.

All he says is just jive, pure; this man is spooky, tawdry.
Dude's got a lotta chutzpah; he croaked beauty Brown.

Might do time for night escapade
In that tacky Vegas town.

Two folks would be alive, but dude cleaved bodies.
Kook lout shows a lotta chutzpah, this bold loony clown

Might do time for non-knife charade;
'bout-town whack job might go down.

(tritones on trombones)

Look out! O.' hacky's back!!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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alvin - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
great job on a tough tune to pace
Jason - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
This is excellent! I'd love to write a 'Mack The Knife' parody!
Michael Pacholek - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
If the pacing does fit, and the humor is a great bit, the fives we must submit.
John Barry - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Jason, Michael.
AFW - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Right on the money with current events...OJ seems to love negative publicity
Ann Hammond - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
like it
Tommy Turtle - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
You nailed him - let's hope the courts do so this time, too. Loved the syllable-matching on "mornin'/subornin'" and "Lucy Brown/"beauty (Nicole) Brown".

I did a "Juice, The Knife" parody of TOS after the murder trial, but it was kind of obsolete to submit by the time I came here. Good job all around.
TJC - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Another great one! 'Spooky Tawdry' truly inspired sub IMO. How do you do it day after day? Is savantdom all it's cracked up to be?
John Jenkins - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
What Tommy Turtle said (at least in his first paragraph).
Agrimorfee - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
How Kurt and Veill of you to take on this story! :) 555 of course
Spaff.com - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Intricate wordplay as usual, Johnglebarry. "Mack the Knife" is apparently the intuitive parody match for the OJ story; in addition to yours, I found two versions of "OJ the Knife" on the site and, like Tommy Turtle, I've had "Juice the Knife" kicking around in my head for about a decade. I've never had a good reason to dust and polish it off, but now I'm tempted to.
TT - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Spaff, thanks for alerting me to the previous versions. I was going to dust mine off also, but one of the "OJ/knife" parodies here was close enough that I probably won't bother. (Then again, I might.) Yes, it was a very easy and obvious switch on the murder.

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