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Song Parodies -> "Blistered Tanned Man"

Original Song Title:

"Mr. Sandman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Chordettes

Parody Song Title:

"Blistered Tanned Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

*The beveled leading edge of a sawtooth
Sun, sun, sun. . . . [26 in all, scat style]

Blistered tanned man, where's your sunscreen? (sun, sun, sun, sun)
In a UV fest, don't use tanning cream. (sun, sun, sun, sun)
Spread SPF 50 all over. (sun, sun, sun, sun)
You need protection unless you're a gopher.
Tanned man, once white as bone,
Now you look like a George Hamilton clone.
They're dangerous, those sunbeams,
Blistered tanned man, where's your sunscreen?

Sun, sun, sun. . . .

Blistered. tanned man, you sleep and dream
On the beach, but later, you're gonna scream
When you find that you're burned all over.
You'll feel like you have been cooked in a stover.
Tanned man, I hear you moan.
Your skin is redder than an aged Rhône.
Feels like someone used a fleam*
On your back to strip the skin clean.

Sun, sun, sun. . . .

Blistered tanned man (sounds of screams), you're cooked like bream.
I swear that your skin is starting to steam.
I bet you wish you looked like pallid Archie
Or like pasta that's just a little starchy.
Tanned man, see your skin roll
Up like old parchment that's peeled off a scroll.
Spread on analgesic cream.
Blistered. tanned man, give up, seek, seek, seek,
Blistered. tanned man, seek out moonbeams.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   16
 16
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dee Range - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
LMFAO!!! This is brilliantly funny John. Great job,Max 5's
Stuart McArthur - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I loved the "Archie"/"starchy" but is that right about gophers? - they don't need protection? - someone should study them - great title too John - 555
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever rhymes/plays on the original song, graphic imagery, great pacing...5-5-5.
Johnny D - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Blisteringly brilliant!
Arwen - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
John, this one really hit home. I loved it! 5s...
John Barry - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Many thanks, Dee, Stuart, Ingeborg, JD, Arwen!
Airfarcewon - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Three fives for a tan...This rubbed me the right way! Good writing!
Ashkicksass - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Pallid Archie was classic! Fabulous job John!
alvin rhodes - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
blisteringly funny
John Barry - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Airfarce, Ash, Alvin, thanks!
Rick D - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
SPF 555
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS but I'll trust everyone else on the pacing and beam over some 5s. Also, you seem much more qualified than me to do "spray on tan" to ZZ Top's "Sharp dressed man" so I'm dropping that idea in your direction. Feel free to pick it up. :-)
John Barry - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rick. I'll try to make it next Thursday. Know I: I'll mull over your suggestion as I soak up rays in my tanning salon.
Jeff Reuben - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent!
LucidLupin LeeBee - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
An absolute perfect gem! ;-) 5s
Meriadoc - October 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice receipe for a well-cooked parody!
Tim Mayfield - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it!

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