Song Parodies ->Authors -> Malcolm Higgins
Greetings to all parodists. My first foray into this group was in 2003 and as of this date, I am very happy to be in the top submitters club, among so many gifted and funny writers. I have written crude, funny, obnoxious and downright angry parodies. I have covered the left side of the political landscape, and slammed the right. A Brit by birth, a Canadian by citizenship, and a free spitit by nature, I write what I feel, votes be damned. I'm glad I know that my songs get many views, if not many votes, because that means I MAY be interesting to some. I don't write for fives, and I don't care about ones. I am here because it is a very easy way to channel out creative energy. I applaud Chuck the administrator for putting up with me for over four years now, and thank him for his patience. To all my friends here, I don't hide. I am Malcolm Higgins of Toronto Ontario, former cop, now a practising paralegal. my profesional website is www.tickettalk.ca That is my serious side. My email is malcolmhiggins@yahoo.com. Drop me a line anytime, even rant if you wish. I am here beacuse I love the concept we have here. Cheers and keep writing.
Song Parodies -> Lyrics
P stands for Pacing, F stands for How Funny, and O is for Overall Score.
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| Parody Title | Original Title | Performer | Submitted | P | F | O | H |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Blowin Up Their Country | Goin Up The Country | Canned Heat | 2.9 | 2.8 | 2.8 | 87 | |
| The Cutter | The Letter | Joe Cocker | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 53 | |
| Ta-li-ban | Sharp Dressed Man | ZZ Top | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 67 | |
| This One's For Al-queda | Sweet Home Alabama | Lynrd Skynrd | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 80 | |
| From Tong No More | The Night Before | The Beatles | 3.6 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 112 | |
| After They Fold Us | After The Goldrush | Neil Young | 3.7 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 54 | |
| In A Field | Centrefield | John Fogerty | 3.2 | 2.8 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| I'm A Hoser | I'm A Loser | Beatles | 3.2 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 59 | |
| Silly Willy | Mellow Yellow | Donovan | 2.2 | 2.2 | 2.2 | 631 | |
| Just Take A Pill | Just Like A Pill | Pink | 2.6 | 1.9 | 2.2 | 83 | |
| Bomb Iraq | Barbaraann | Beach Boys | 3.5 | 3.7 | 3.6 | 75 | |
| Georgy Bush The Next | Henry The Eighth | Hermans Hermits | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.7 | 57 | |
| After The Bombing | After The Lovin' | Engelbert Humperdinck | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 61 | |
| He's A Weiner | She's A Lady | Tom Jones | 4.1 | 3.8 | 3.7 | 58 | |
| All I Need Are The Chemicals | All I Need Is A Miracle | Mike And The Mechanics | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 56 | |
| Boys With Hummers | Boys Of Summer | Don Henley | 4.3 | 3.5 | 3.9 | 55 | |
| An Ass Named Hussein | A Horse With No Nane | America | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.9 | 75 | |
| Saddam's On The Run | Band On The Run | Paul Mccartney | 3.1 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 47 | |
| Saturday In Iraq | Saturday In The Park | Chicago | 4.7 | 4.4 | 4.2 | 61 | |
| Knee Socks | Squeeze Box | The Who | 4.7 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 77 | |
| These Guys | These Eyes | The Guess Who | 3.7 | 3.0 | 3.2 | 58 | |
| Rogaine | Cocaine | Eric Clapton | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.4 | 84 | |
| Saddam Hussein | Sultans Of Swing | Dire Straits | 3.6 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 61 | |
| Whump! | Hump | Van Halen | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.0 | 59 | |
| Funny French | Funny Face | Donna Fargo | 2.8 | 2.8 | 2.8 | 545 | |
| Itchin Inside | Hitchin A Ride | Vanity Fair | 3.0 | 2.3 | 2.6 | 56 | |
| Drained Wops Keep Fallin On My Head | Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head | BJ Thomas | 2.4 | 1.7 | 1.8 | 72 | |
| Stuck In The Derert With You | Stuck In The Middle With You | Stealers Wheel | 3.0 | 2.9 | 2.8 | 49 | |
| The Night That The Lights Went Out In Basra | The Night That The Lights Went Out In Georgia | Vicki Lawrence | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 62 | |
| Very Good Munitions | Very Superstitious | Stevie Wonder | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 48 | |
| We're All Americans, Man! | We're An American Band | Grand Funk Railroad | 3.8 | 3.6 | 3.9 | 46 | |
| Sendin' All The Jets | Benny And The Jets | Elton John | 2.9 | 2.2 | 2.4 | 110 | |
| Saddam | Mother | Pink Floyd | 3.1 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 47 | |
| A Bone Again, Naturally | Alone Again, Naturally | Gilbert And Sullivan | 3.5 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| Being For The Benefit Of The Shi'ites | Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite | The Beatles | 2.3 | 2.2 | 2.2 | 55 | |
| Blue Helmets | Blue Velvet | Bobby Vinton | 4.6 | 4.1 | 4.3 | 55 | |
| Can't Seem To Hit Delete | Dancin In The Street | Martha Reeves | 4.3 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 54 | |
| I Wanna Bomb Saddam | I Wanna Hold Your Hand | The Beatles | 3.8 | 2.8 | 3.3 | 68 | |
| I'm Dating A Cow | I'm Telling You Now | Freddie And The Dreamers | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 51 | |
| Hummers In The City | Summer In The City | Lovin Spoonful | 4.2 | 3.9 | 4.0 | 68 | |
| The Leader Of Iraq | The Leader Of The Pack | The Shangri Las | 3.6 | 3.8 | 3.7 | 62 | |
| We're Together Now | All Together Now | The Beatles | 3.2 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 55 | |
| It's Not Bacterial | It's Not Unusual | Tom Jones | 2.8 | 2.5 | 2.8 | 59 | |
| There's A Kinder Rush | There's A Kind Of Hush | Gerry And The Pacemakers | 2.7 | 3.1 | 3.0 | 53 | |
| Hoagy Sandwich | Body Language | Queen | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| Heave | Breathe | Faith Hill | 2.6 | 3.0 | 2.8 | 62 | |
| Keep On Moppin In The Free World | Keep On Rockin In The Free World | Neil Young | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 52 | |
| Itsy Bitsy Awed And Shocky Smelly Little Dark Iraqi | Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini | Brian Hyland | 4.1 | 3.9 | 3.8 | 53 | |
| Me And You And A Frog Named Lou | Me And You And A Dog Named Boo | Lobo | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 67 | |
| Shock Iraq, Around The Clock | Rock Around The Clock | Bill Haley | 3.9 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 62 | |
| That Oldies' Lotion | The Loco Motion | Little Eva | 4.2 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 65 | |
| I Wanna Own Your Land | I Wanna Hold Your Hand | The Beatles | 3.9 | 3.2 | 3.6 | 52 | |
| She Rubs You | She Loves You | The Beatles | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 55 | |
| Bulimian Rhapsody | Bohemian Rhapsody | Queen | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 134 | |
| Hermaphrodite Rhapsody | Bohemian Rhapsody | Queen | 4.3 | 4.6 | 4.5 | 69 | |
| Iraq | Get Back | The Beatles | 3.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 53 | |
| Bring 'em Home For Christmas | Drivin Home For Christmas | Chris Rea | 2.5 | 2.2 | 2.5 | 56 | |
| Tomahawks | At The Hop | Danny And The Juniors | 3.2 | 3.8 | 3.6 | 48 | |
| You've Got To Hide Saddam Away | You've Got To Hide Your Love Away | The Beatles | 4.2 | 3.4 | 3.9 | 43 | |
| Big Bombs | Big Balls | AC/DC | 3.5 | 4.0 | 3.8 | 72 | |
| Bohemian Fantasy | Bohemian Rhapsody | Queen | 2.9 | 2.9 | 3.0 | 87 | |
| Tomahawks Keep Fallin By My Head | Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head | Bj Thomas | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.6 | 48 | |
| Addicted To Grub | Addicted To Love | Robert Palmer | 3.6 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 66 | |
| I Am Spock | Like A Rock | Bob Seger | 3.8 | 4.1 | 4.0 | 62 | |
| If I Was Phil Alexander | If I Had A Million Dollars | Barenaked Ladies | 4.1 | 3.7 | 3.9 | 49 | |
| Phoney Baloney | Only The Lonely | Roy Orbison | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 72 | |
| That's A Moray | Thats Amore | Dean Martin | 3.9 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 2327 | |
| Blistered And Peeling | Hooked On A Feeling | B.J. Thomas | 4.3 | 4.7 | 4.6 | 64 | |
| Am I Right | Up All Night | Boomtown Rats | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 67 | |
| Man, I Need To Go Right Now | No One Needs To Know Right Now | Shania Twain | 2.8 | 2.8 | 2.8 | 62 | |
| You Might Stink | You Might Think | The Cars | 3.2 | 2.3 | 2.5 | 53 | |
| All Because Of You..my Genes | All I Have To Do Is Dream | Everley Brothers | 4.5 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 76 | |
| Mrs Brown Please Wipe That Ugly Snotter | Mrs Brown, You've Got A Lovely Daughter | Hermans Hermits | 3.0 | 2.7 | 2.8 | 53 | |
| Scuds Are My Rockets | Drugs In My Pocket | The Monks | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 57 | |
| My Separation | My Generation | The Who | 4.3 | 3.3 | 3.6 | 49 | |
| Love Doll | Rag Doll | Aerosmith | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 82 | |
| Breaking Wind Is Hard On You | Breaking Up Is Hard To Do | Neil Sedaka | 2.9 | 3.2 | 3.1 | 58 | |
| My Rug | My Love | Paul Mccartney | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.6 | 46 | |
| A Boogie Lined My Glove | A Groovy Kind Of Love | Phil Collins | 3.8 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 54 | |
| Bad Thongs | Sad Songs | Elton John | 2.8 | 2.8 | 2.8 | 68 | |
| Cat Who Chewed Your New Shoes | Chattanooga Choo Choo | Hank Snow | 3.8 | 4.1 | 3.9 | 801 | |
| It Tasted Funny | A Taste Of Honey | The Beatles | 3.5 | 3.8 | 3.5 | 59 | |
| Eight Lays A Week | Eight Days A Week | The Beatles | 3.8 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 62 | |
| If I Smell | If I Fell | The Beatles | 1.6 | 1.6 | 1.4 | 56 | |
| Bony | Lonely | Bobby Vinton | 3.4 | 3.0 | 3.2 | 54 | |
| Lingerie | One Fine Day | The Chiffons | 3.4 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 65 | |
| U.P.S. | Sos | Abba | 4.0 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 60 | |
| You're Way Too Fat | You Can't Do That | The Beatles | 3.7 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 49 | |
| All We Need Is Rush | All You Need Is Love | The Beatles | 3.6 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 67 | |
| The Tragic Bust | The Magic Bus | The Who | 4.4 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 50 | |
| Knockin On Saddam's Door | Knockin On Heaven's Door | Bob Dylan | 4.2 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 62 | |
| Zeroes | Heroes | The Wallflowers | 2.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 59 | |
| Pour Me Genessee | Memphis Tennessee | Chuck Berry | 5.0 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 52 | |
| Drivel Of Saddam Hussein | Rhythm Of The Falling Rain | Cascades | 4.1 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 68 | |
| Pedophile | Stay Awhile | The Bells | 4.0 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 64 | |
| You're Wrong | Your Song | Elton John | 2.9 | 2.8 | 2.8 | 59 | |
| Perjury Blues | Mercury Blues | David Lyndley | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 54 | |
| You Can't Hurry | You Can't Hurry Love | Phil Collins Version | 4.3 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 51 | |
| Loony Toony, Not Agreein' Little Midget North Korean | Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini | Bryan Hyland | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 67 | |
| A White Sport Ute | A White Sport Coat | Marty Robbins | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 42 | |
| Al Basrah | El Paso | Marty Robbins | 3.7 | 4.2 | 4.0 | 70 | |
| Ebola | Lola | Kinks | 3.6 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 75 | |
| No Boogers Tonight | No Sugar Tonight | The Guess Who | 2.5 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 55 | |
| Just Misinformation | Just My Imaginations | The Temptations | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 62 | |
| Those Tragic Morons | This Magic Moment | Jay And The Americans | 3.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 54 | |
| S.T.G | A.B.C. | The Jackson 5 | 3.2 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 62 | |
| All My Exes Drive A Lexus | All My Exes Live In Texas | George Strait | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.9 | 503 | |
| Lefties Out | Check It Out | Mellencamp | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| Florios | Gloria | Laura Branigan | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.6 | 49 | |
| I'm On The Right | I'm All Right | Kenny Loggins | 4.2 | 4.5 | 4.2 | 59 | |
| Iraqi Surrender | Never Surrender | Corey Hart | 3.8 | 3.2 | 3.4 | 56 | |
| All My Lootin | All My Lovin | The Beatles | 3.2 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 71 | |
| Braggin' Is Fine | Draggin' The Line | Tommy James And The Shondells | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Kind Of A Nag | Kind Of A Nag | The Buckinghams | 3.3 | 2.8 | 3.0 | 44 | |
| Some Leather | The Letter | The Boxtops | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 47 | |
| Where Did The Scuds Go? | Where Did Our Love Go? | The Supremes | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 45 | |
| Left Has Lied To Us Before | 25 Or 6 To 4 | Chicago | 4.3 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 90 | |
| Her Brother's Gay | Another Day | Paul Mccartney | 5.0 | 4.8 | 4.9 | 50 | |
| Moisture Farm | Juniors Farm | Paul Mccartney | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 45 | |
| Silly Rug Songs | Silly Love Songs | Paul Mccartney | 4.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 42 | |
| Booger Booger | Sugar Sugar | The Archies | 3.4 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 65 | |
| Where Are The Scuds? | Where Is The Love | Roberta Flack | 3.3 | 4.0 | 3.7 | 40 | |
| You're Insane | You're So Vain | Carly Simon | 3.6 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 61 | |
| Fat As You | Fast As You | Dwight Yoakam | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 69 | |
| Ak-47's Lovely, My Kalishnikov | You Don't Have To Say You Love Me | Dusty Springfield | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.7 | 53 | |
| Bake Me A Buttertart | Build Me A Buttercup | The Foundations | 4.2 | 3.7 | 4.1 | 387 | |
| I Can Pee Clearly Now | I Can See Clearly Now | Johnny Nash | 4.1 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 65 | |
| I'm Heavily Sedated | I Wanna Be Sedated | The Ramones | 3.5 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 47 | |
| My Concubine | Cloud Number Nine | Bryan Adams | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 44 | |
| Rid Me Of This Despot | Hit Me With Your Best Shot | Pat Benatar | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.4 | 53 | |
| Sendin Out For A Hero | Holdin Out For A Hero | Bonnie Tyler | 3.4 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 64 | |
| Midnight Crossdressings | Midnight Confessions | The Grass Roots | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 82 | |
| Marital Rhapsody | Bohemian Rhapsody | Queen | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 61 | |
| Gorgonzola | Lola | The Kinks | 3.2 | 3.8 | 3.6 | 58 | |
| Won't Get Ruled Again | Won't Get Fooled Again | The Who | 3.0 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 56 | |
| Young Boys | Rough Boys | Pete Townshend | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 133 | |
| Hair Beneath My Arms | Wind Beneath My Wings | Bette Midler | 3.0 | 2.8 | 2.8 | 67 | |
| Cujo | Cupid | Sam Cooke | 3.0 | 3.3 | 3.0 | 47 | |
| Ali Could Fight | Hollywood Nights | Bob Seger | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.5 | 68 | |
| Teenage Vasectomy | Teenage Lobotomy | The Ramones | 3.8 | 4.2 | 4.0 | 44 | |
| Mars | Cars | Gary Numan | 3.1 | 2.4 | 3.0 | 54 | |
| Headache Tonight | Heartache Tonight | The Eagles | 4.4 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 82 | |
| It's Just Kind Of Tragic | Its A Kind Of Magic | Queen | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 63 | |
| I Got Another Drink Comin' | You Got Another Think Comin' | Judas Priest | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Next | Blessed | Elton John | 2.0 | 1.5 | 1.5 | 50 | |
| Charge It Girl | Barbie Girl | Aqua | 4.3 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 88 | |
| I Wanna Be Your Mother | I Wanna Be Your Lover | The Beatles | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 49 | |
| Wax Man | Taxman | The Beatles | 3.6 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 52 | |
| A Better Place To Pee | A Beter Place To Be | Harry Chapin | 3.8 | 4.0 | 3.9 | 47 | |
| Arrested For Driving While Black | Arrested For Driving While Blind | ZZ Top | 3.6 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 65 | |
| Wife's Been Good | Life's Been Good | Joe Walsh | 3.7 | 3.4 | 3.8 | 61 | |
| Share The Can | Share The Land | The Guess Who | 3.6 | 3.4 | 3.6 | 44 | |
| The Vote Out | The Load Out | Jackson Browne | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 43 | |
| 867-d-i-e-t | 867-5309 | Tommy Tutone | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 97 | |
| Don't Break A Fart | Achy Breaky Heart | Billy Ray Cyrus | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 111 | |
| Right All Right | Fly At Night | Chilliwack | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 51 | |
| I'll Just Buy Lucky Charms Tonight | I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight | Cutting Crew | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.3 | 83 | |
| I've Seen This Rug Before | I've Been In Love Before | Cutting Crew | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 55 | |
| Burger, Chicken, Rings, Shake And Fries | Ordinary Average Guy | Joe Walsh | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| Somebody's Crazy | Somebody's Baby | Jackson Browne | 3.5 | 2.8 | 3.0 | 46 | |
| Undercut | Thunderstruck | AC/DC | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 59 | |
| Pandering | Wonderin' | Neil Young | 2.2 | 2.2 | 2.2 | 45 | |
| Low Fat Muffins | All My Lovin | The Beatles | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 69 | |
| Baby You Can't Hide That SARS | Baby You Can Drive My Car | The Beatles | 4.1 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 52 | |
| He's Black | Get Back | The Beatles | 3.4 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 56 | |
| I'm Testing That New Lotion | I Second That Emotion | Smokey Robinson | 3.5 | 3.2 | 3.4 | 51 | |
| Drivin While Black | Jumpin Jack Flash | Rolling Stones | 3.1 | 2.6 | 2.7 | 53 | |
| Pretty Lazy | Pretty Lady | Trooper | 2.3 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 56 | |
| You Make Me Feel Like An Actual Woman | You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman | Arethra Franklin | 3.6 | 3.6 | 3.5 | 68 | |
| Bobblehead Toads | Copperhead Road | Steven Earle | 2.7 | 3.0 | 2.7 | 52 | |
| Streetsweeper | Heatseeker | AC/DC | 3.3 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 47 | |
| I Love Rocky Road | I Love Rock And Roll | Joan Jett | 3.3 | 3.5 | 3.4 | 69 | |
| On My Throne | On My Own | Patti Labelle And Michael MacDonald | 2.7 | 2.4 | 2.6 | 63 | |
| Need An Organ Donor For This Weekend | Everybody's Workin For The Weekend | Loverboy | 3.8 | 3.2 | 3.4 | 56 | |
| Flatulent Son | Fortunate Son | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 3.7 | 3.3 | 3.5 | 59 | |
| Le Squeak | Le Freak | Chic | 2.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 78 | |
| In Stilettos | In The Ghetto | Elvis Presley | 4.1 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 59 | |
| Africans Die | American Pie | Don Mclean | 4.1 | 2.9 | 4.0 | 82 | |
| Dames People Lay | Games People Play | The Spinners | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 59 | |
| I Feel So Wheezy | It Don't Come Easy | Ringo Starr | 3.4 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 51 | |
| They Changed The Words To My Song Ma | Look What They Done To My Song Ma | Melanie | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 50 | |
| Earthworm Jim | My Girl Bill | Jim Stafford | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 79 | |
| The Right Tonight | This Flight Tonight | Nazareth | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 53 | |
| Snot's Runnin | Hot Blooded | Foreigner | 3.5 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 53 | |
| At I.H.O.P | At The Hop | Danny And The Juniors | 4.7 | 4.8 | 4.7 | 51 | |
| At The Gap | At The Hop | Danny And The Juniors | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.8 | 55 | |
| At The Top | At The Hop | Danny And The Juniors | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 56 | |
| Do The Crop | At The Hop | Danny And The Juniors | 4.5 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 49 | |
| Malky Stop | At The Hop | Danny And The Juniors | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 45 | |
| Through The Stop | At The Hop | Danny And The Juniors | 4.0 | 4.2 | 4.0 | 41 | |
| Bought A Hoochie | Chattahoochie | Allan Jackson | 3.6 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 90 | |
| You Above Me | Do You Love Me? | Dave Clark Five | 3.3 | 2.7 | 2.8 | 59 | |
| Grandpa Got Won Over By A Strange Queer | Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer | Elmo & Patsy | 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 77 | |
| On Top Of Souvlaki | On Top Of Old Smoky | Public Domain | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 49 | |
| Dry Your Eyes | Lyin Eyes | The Eagles | 3.7 | 3.4 | 3.6 | 63 | |
| A Goofy Kind Of Rug | A Groovy Kind Of Love | Phil Collins | 3.9 | 3.8 | 3.7 | 66 | |
| Aaliyah | Ah Leah | Donnie Iris | 3.2 | 2.7 | 2.9 | 440 | |
| Hot Dog | Hound Dog | Elvis Presley | 3.2 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 81 | |
| Take A Walk On The Left Side | Take A Walk On The Wild Side | Lou Reed | 3.3 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 66 | |
| Always A Klingon For Me | Always A Woman To Me | Billy Joel | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 68 | |
| Litigious Times | Suspicious Minds | Elvis Presley | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 47 | |
| The Strongest Wine | The Longest Time | Billy Joel | 3.4 | 4.3 | 4.0 | 51 | |
| Ranting In The Park | Dancing In The Dark | Springsteen | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 48 | |
| Smokin' | Strokin | Clarence Carter | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 58 | |
| Honeybun | Honeycomb | Jimmy Rodgers | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.3 | 45 | |
| Rave Nude | Hey Jude | The Beatles | 3.6 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 63 | |
| Prostitution | Revolution | The Beatles | 3.8 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 81 | |
| I Think Logically | I Want To Break Free | Queen | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 65 | |
| Mend Me, Shapely | Bend Me Shape Me | American Breed | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 68 | |
| And When I'm High | And When I Die | Blood Sweat And Tears | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 61 | |
| More Than I Can Pay | More That I Can Say | Leo Sayer | 3.6 | 3.2 | 3.6 | 68 | |
| Peelin There For Years | Reelin In The Years | Steely Dan | 3.7 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 50 | |
| Sleaze Talk | Squeeze Box | The Who | 3.7 | 4.1 | 4.0 | 58 | |
| The Town's Compliance | The Sounds Of Silence | Simon And Garfinkel | 3.5 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 46 | |
| I've Tasted Ringolos | I'm Just A Gigolo | Not David Lee Roth | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 52 | |
| Slashin' The Missus | Passionate Kisses | Mary Chapin Carpenter | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 57 | |
| All You Need Is Drugs | All You Need Is Love | The Beatles | 4.2 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 111 | |
| Drugged He Ran | Barbara Ann | Le Garcons De La Plaige | 3.3 | 3.5 | 3.2 | 46 | |
| Royce Miller | Brown Sugar | The Rolling Stones | 4.1 | 3.6 | 3.9 | 42 | |
| Hey McCloud! Get Offa My Yew | Hey You, Get Offa My Cloud | The Rolling Stones | 3.5 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 141 | |
| Got A Flat Tire | Mull Of Kintyre | Paul McCartney | 3.7 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 73 | |
| Trudy, Don't Take My Rug To Town | Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town | Kenny Rogers | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 58 | |
| Is That Drugs? | Is That Love | Squeeze | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 48 | |
| A Test Tickle | The Miracle | Queen | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 62 | |
| Learnin' To Drive | Learnin' To Fly | Tom Petty | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 62 | |
| A Few Of My Favourite Drinks | A Few Of My Favourite Things | Julie Andrews | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 107 | |
| Help Me Make It Good And Tight | Help Me Make It Through The Night | Freddy Fender | 2.0 | 1.7 | 1.7 | 79 | |
| I'd Like To Teach The World To Drink | I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing | Traditional | 2.7 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 48 | |
| You've Gotta Booze That Girl | You're Gonna Lose That Girl | The Beatles | 3.4 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 47 | |
| Seems Like A Woman To Me | Always A Woman To Me | Billy Joel | 4.6 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 72 | |
| Pass The Gravy | In The Navy | Village People | 3.9 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 63 | |
| Slayin The Wife | Stayin Alive | The Beegees | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 58 | |
| We Hate Gravity | We Are Family | Sister Sledge | 2.6 | 2.9 | 2.8 | 62 | |
| Boogie Wipes | Boogie Nights | Heatwave | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 121 | |
| (George has) | Cold As Ice | Foreigner | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.4 | 89 | |
| I'm Eatin Curry (and Don't Know Why) | I'm In A Hurry (and Don't Know Why) | Alabama | 4.4 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 76 | |
| Baby, Can I Graze By You? | Amazed | Lonestar | 4.1 | 3.8 | 4.2 | 67 | |
| Being To The Benefit Of Mr Pete | Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite | The Beatles | 4.0 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 58 | |
| I Really Need A Tan | I Wanna Be Your Man | The Beatles | 3.8 | 2.4 | 2.6 | 38 | |
| I'm A Hoser | I'm A Loser | The Beatles | 3.5 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 44 | |
| I'm A User | I'm A Loser | The Beatles | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 51 | |
| Please Freeze Me | Please Please Me | The Beatles | 3.8 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 46 | |
| They Love Me | She Loves You | The Beatles | 3.9 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 40 | |
| Was He White Before? | The Night Before | The Beatles | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.3 | 48 | |
| Tainted Blood | Tainted Love | Soft Cell | 4.2 | 3.9 | 4.1 | 123 | |
| The Charms Of Merry | The Arms Of Mary | Ian and George Sutherland | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 50 | |
| Two Guys | Blue Eyes | Elton John | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 53 | |
| You'll Succumb To Me | You'll Acompany Me | Bob Seger | 3.9 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 48 | |
| Dressed | Blessed | Elton John | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 53 | |
| Teutonic | Ironic | Alanis Morrissette | 3.0 | 3.5 | 3.2 | 58 | |
| Dar's Leaving Home | She's Leaving Home | The Beatles | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.2 | 53 | |
| I Will Write No More | When I'm 64 | The Beatles | 4.1 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 55 | |
| That's A Baboon On The Right | Bad Moon Rising | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 3.3 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 54 | |
| Pip's A Man | Guitarzan | Ray Stevens | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 63 | |
| Got My Sights On Two More | Lookin Out My Back Door | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 49 | |
| These Two Are Strange | People Are Strange | The Doors | 3.9 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 53 | |
| Billy's Shrub Songs | Silly Love Songs | Paul Mccartney | 4.3 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 55 | |
| Fully Woolly | Wooly Bully | Sam The Sham And The Pharoahs | 3.9 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 65 | |
| No More | You're The Biggest Part Of Me | Ambrosia | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 59 | |
| Their Repeats Have No Shame | Where The Streets Have No Name | U2 | 4.9 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 61 | |
| Amputated | Complicated | Carolyn Dawn Johnson | 3.2 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 67 | |
| Because You're Both Guys | Because I Got High | Afroman | 2.5 | 2.5 | 2.5 | 76 | |
| Six Foot Two | Five Foot Two | Ray Henderson | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 90 | |
| Refugee | Refugee | Tom Petty | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 48 | |
| Lebiew Scuffle | Lido Shuffle | Boz Scaggs | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 56 | |
| Anteater | Maneater | Hall And Oates | 4.6 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 236 | |
| Totally Blitzed From The Start | Total Eclipse Of The Heart | Bonnie Tyler | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 56 | |
| Do You Really Want To Burp Me | Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? | Boy George | 3.7 | 3.2 | 3.6 | 64 | |
| Dumber | Longer | Dan Fogelberg | 3.7 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 59 | |
| Merry's Player | Mary's Prayer | Danny Wilson | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 75 | |
| I Can Tell Them Apart | Never Tear Us Apart | INXS | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 58 | |
| Oh Merry | Oh Sherie | Steven Perry | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 78 | |
| Exlax | Relax | Frankie Goes To Hollywood | 2.8 | 2.7 | 3.1 | 72 | |
| Where The Sheiks Have No Name | Where The Streets Have No Name | U2 | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 49 | |
| Oh, She's A She Now? | Who Can It Be Now? | Men At Work | 3.2 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 62 | |
| She's Like A Sea Cow | Who Can It Be Now? | Men At Work | 4.0 | 3.9 | 4.0 | 52 | |
| Mumblin | Wonderin' | Neil Young | 2.8 | 2.8 | 2.8 | 47 | |
| I Bought It | You Got It | Roy Orbison | 4.0 | 3.7 | 3.8 | 52 | |
| Cannonballs | Cannibals | Mark Knopfler | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 63 | |
| Merry's Lil' Lark | Cherry Hill Park | Billy Joe Royal | 4.1 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 60 | |
| Don't Be Fooled | Don't Be Cruel | Elvis | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 69 | |
| Peregrin, I Know You're One | Carry On My Wayward Son | Kansas | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 54 | |
| Peregrin Girl | Cinnamon Girl | Neil Young | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 52 | |
| Peregrin | Cinnamon | Derek | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 55 | |
| Frizzy | Dizzy | Tommy Roe | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 53 | |
| Pips And Mer, Goodbye | Kiss And Say Goodbye | The Manhattans | 4.0 | 4.0 | 3.8 | 57 | |
| Share Amiright Together | Sharing The Night Together | Dr Hook | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 54 | |
| Is She Deceiving Me? | She Believes In Me | Kenny Rogers | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| I've Got It Right | We've Got Tonight | Kenny Rogers | 3.4 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 48 | |
| (Is Peregrin A Man) Down Under? | Down Under | Men At Work | 3.8 | 3.9 | 4.0 | 60 | |
| Nefarious | Aquarius | From Hair | 4.1 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 49 | |
| Comb It Over | Think It Over | Buddy Holly | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 47 | |
| Correction | Objection | Shakira | 3.2 | 3.9 | 3.6 | 57 | |
| Good Vibrators | Good Vibrations | Le Garcons De La Plaige (the Beach Boys En Francais) | 3.9 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 73 | |
| In The End, They Were Girls | It's The End Of The World | Skeeter Davis | 3.4 | 3.1 | 3.3 | 69 | |
| Al Queda Cell | Mission Bell | Donnie Brooks | 4.3 | 3.3 | 4.0 | 50 | |
| Have You Ever Been Fellows? | Have You Never Been Mellow? | Olivia Newton John | 3.1 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 56 | |
| For Those Devout To Spock | For Those About To Rock | AC/DC | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.3 | 60 | |
| Mer | Hair | From | 4.0 | 3.8 | 4.0 | 58 | |
| Oh Royce Miller | Oh Suzanna | James Taylor Version | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 82 | |
| Just A Chance With You (ode To Royce Miller) | (I'm Happy Just) To Dance With You | The Beatles | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.0 | 38 | |
| The Continuing Story Of Florio, Bill | The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill | The Beatles | 2.7 | 2.3 | 2.3 | 39 | |
| After The Throbbin | After The Lovin | Engelbert Humperdink | 4.2 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 76 | |
| Mal The Flasher | Albert Flasher | The Guess Who | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 46 | |
| Mer Is A Woman | American Woman | Guess Who | 3.0 | 3.3 | 3.2 | 52 | |
| I Can't Smell You, Why? | I Can't Tell You Why | The Eagles | 1.2 | 1.5 | 1.2 | 67 | |
| I'll Never Drink That Much Again | I'll Never Love This Way Again | Dionne Warwick | 3.5 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 53 | |
| Peregrin and Merry | Rainy Days And Mondays | The Carpenters | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 58 | |
| Under Her Tonight | Wonderful Tonight | Eric Clapron | 2.7 | 2.1 | 2.3 | 66 | |
| Of Mer I Can Dream | American Dream | Csny | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 57 | |
| Still Colonoscopy | It's Still Rock And Roll To Me | Billy Joel | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 124 | |
| Big Fat Bong | Big Bad John | James Dean | 3.8 | 3.8 | 3.5 | 62 | |
| Whipped Cream Baby | Dream Baby | Roy Orbison | 3.2 | 3.0 | 3.2 | 56 | |
| Would They Combine? | Good Day Sunshine | The Beatles | 3.5 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 44 | |
| Mailhouse Talk | Jailhouse Rock | Elvis Presley | No Votes | 54 | |||
| Mer and Pip | Theme From Gilligans Island | Theme Song | 4.5 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 55 | |
| Rivalry | Valerie | The Monkees | 3.7 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 70 | |
| For A Camel, Walk A Mile | Come On Baby Light My Fire | The Doors | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 97 | |
| Don't Sue Me For That | Don't Do Me Like That | Tom Petty | 4.5 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 42 | |
| Is A Threesome Better? | Happy Together | The Turtles | 3.5 | 2.9 | 3.0 | 65 | |
| If I Were A Democrat | If I Were A Carpenter | Johnny Cash | No Votes | 63 | |||
| Miller, Queen | Killer Queen | Queen | 4.2 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 56 | |
| Peregrin | Let Em In | Paul McCartney | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 47 | |
| Walking My Baboon | Walking On The Moon | The Police | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.8 | 45 | |
| Echinacea | Infatuation | Rod Stewart | No Votes | 48 | |||
| They're My Calvin Kleins | The Longest Time | Billy Joel | 3.2 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 50 | |
| New Quaaludes | Blue Suede Shoes | Elvis Presley | No Votes | 50 | |||
| John Deere, Be Good | Johnny B. Goode | Chuck Berry | No Votes | 100 | |||
| The Girl With Bad Eczema | The Girl From Ipanema | Frank Sinatra | 3.0 | 1.0 | 3.0 | 60 | |
| Bartender Girl | Calendar Girl | Neil Sedaka | No Votes | 66 | |||
| Tie Me Up | Start Me Up | Rolling Stones | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Tie Old Malky Down | Tie Your Mother Down | Queen | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 46 | |
| Merry Baby | Sherry Baby | The Four Seasons | 2.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 51 | |
| My Fly | My Guy | Mary Wells | No Votes | 54 | |||
| Ari Fleisher | Albert Flasher | The Guess Who | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 58 | |
| Mad Cow Arising | Bad Moon Rising | Creedence Clearwater Revival | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 52 | |
| Last Call | Stand Tall | Burton Cummings | No Votes | 59 | |||
| They're Implants On Me | Take A Chance On Me | Abba | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 59 | |
| The Death Of The Westchester Herald | The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald | Gordon Lightfoot | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Syrians | Innocence | Harlequin | No Votes | 42 | |||
| Syrians | Innocence | Harlequin | No Votes | 41 | |||
| It's Miss Miller Tonight | In The Still Of The Night | The Five Satins | No Votes | 50 | |||
| Roll Me Over ( In Mazola) | Think It Over | Buddy Holly | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 49 | |
| Ham And Two Eggs | Death On Two Legs | Queen | 4.0 | 3.0 | 4.0 | 59 | |
| Squashin Me Baby | Rockin Me Baby | Steve Miller | No Votes | 47 | |||
| Mad Cows | Sad Songs | Elton John | No Votes | 51 | |||
| Rundown | Sundown | Gordon Lightfoot | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 52 | |
| Corny People | Lonely People | America | No Votes | 52 | |||
| Mellow Fellow | Mellow Yellow | Donovan | No Votes | 51 | |||
| The Sex Change | The Anthem | Good Charlotte | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Stopped At The Border | Under The Boardwalk | The Drifters | No Votes | 49 | |||
| You Better Get Outta My Face | We Gotta Get Outta This Place | The Animals | 4.3 | 2.7 | 3.7 | 66 | |
| I Suffered A Stroke | I Started A Joke | The Bee Gees | No Votes | 97 | |||
| Cheese Or Gravy? | She's A Lady | Tom Jones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 4.5 | 50 | |
| We Must Parody | We Just Disagree | Dave Mason | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 53 | |
| Why We Need Depends | Why Can't We Be Friends? | War | 4.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 58 | |
| Stall Me | Call Me | Blondie | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 66 | |
| Chicks With Muscles Look Like Hell | Pulling Mussels From The Shell | Squeeze | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 74 | |
| Women | Woman | John Lennon | No Votes | 48 | |||
| What's Become Of Our World? | What A Wonderful World | Louis Armstrong | 4.7 | 3.7 | 5.0 | 54 | |
| My Skirl | My Girl | The Temptations | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Wonderin Rhapsody | Bohemian Rhapsody | Queen | No Votes | 53 | |||
| If You Deceive Me Now | If You Leave Me Now | Chicago | 4.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 56 | |
| Drugs Will Keep Us Together | Love Will Keep Us Together | Captain And Tennille | 5.0 | 3.0 | 4.0 | 150 | |
| Viagra | Amanda | Boston | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 51 | |
| In Left Field | Centrefield | John Fogerty | No Votes | 56 | |||
| Don't Bring Me Cows | Don't Bring Me Down | Electric Light Orchestra | No Votes | 53 | |||
| Roachbusters | Ghostbusters | Ray Parker Junior | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 64 | |
| Florida | Gloria | Laura Branigan | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 68 | |
| Farts | Hearts | Marty Balin | 3.0 | 3.0 | 2.5 | 68 | |
| Euchre | Luka | Suzanne Vega | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 91 | |
| Spamreader | Maneater | Hall And Oates | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 47 | |
| Chunky Thighs | Sexy Eyes | Dr Hook | No Votes | 63 | |||
| Bell Operator | Smooth Operator | Sade | No Votes | 53 | |||
| All I Wanna Do Is Eat Take Out Food | All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You | Heart | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 65 | |
| If You're Chicks I'd Love To Do You Tonight | I'd Really Love To See You Tonight | England Dan And John Ford Coley | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 64 | |
| All In Fun | Still The One | Orleans | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 65 | |
| Fake It, To The Limit | Take It To The Limit | The Eagles | No Votes | 61 | |||
| Barndance | Moondance | Van Morrison | No Votes | 51 | |||
| Modem Love | Modern Love | David Bowie | No Votes | 50 | |||
| Musical | Beautiful | Christina Aguilera | No Votes | 57 | |||
| Tom's Goolies | Tom Dooley | The Kingston Trio | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Royce | Boys | The Beatles | No Votes | 50 | |||
| I'll Be Fat | I'll Be Back | The Beatles | No Votes | 39 | |||
| I'm So Wired | I'm So Tired | The Beatles | No Votes | 48 | |||
| Pablum Child | Problem Child | AC/DC | No Votes | 51 | |||
| What I Like About Pooh | What I Like About You | The Romantics | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Condit | Donna | Richie Valens | No Votes | 58 | |||
| Gitch Up Inside | Hitchin A Ride | Vanity Faire | No Votes | 54 | |||
| Morocco | La Bamba | Richie Valens | No Votes | 96 | |||
| All My Cows | All Right Now | Free | No Votes | 60 | |||
| Roycie's Song | Danny's Song | Anne Murray | No Votes | 67 | |||
| No Mad Cow | Hold Me Now | Thompson Twins | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 55 | |
| It's Menstruation | Infatuation | Rod Stewart | No Votes | 54 | |||
| I Entered The Gay Pride Open | Into The Great Wide Open | Tom Petty | No Votes | 47 | |||
| Shag Doll | Rag Doll | Aerosmith | 5.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 47 | |
| Got Mosquitos Every Night | Sausalito Summer Night | Deisel | No Votes | 64 | |||
| a Waste Of Money | A Taste Of Honey | The Beatles | No Votes | 63 | |||
| Along Comes Merry | Along Comes Mary | The Association | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 61 | |
| I Just Help Myself | I Can't Help Myself | The Four Tops | No Votes | 54 | |||
| I Speak Mandarin | My Green Tambourine | The Lemon Pipers | 3.3 | 3.0 | 2.7 | 60 | |
| Never My Royce | Never My Love | The Association | No Votes | 43 | |||
| I Said Who 'dat? | You Can't Do That | The Beatles | No Votes | 46 | |||
| Your Mother Should Go | Your Mother Should Know | The Beatles | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Before The Next Despot Falls | Before The Next Teardrop Falls | Freddy Fender | 1.0 | 2.0 | 1.0 | 50 | |
| Sildenafil | Cinnamon | Derek | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Frisco Sucks | Disco Duck | Rick Dees | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 65 | |
| Don't Throw Up On Me Baby | Don't Give Up On Us Baby | David Soul | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 223 | |
| Your Motion | Emotion | Samantha Sang | No Votes | 59 | |||
| Can You Make It Good And Tight? | Help Me Make It Through The Night | Freddy Fender | No Votes | 66 | |||
| Can't Stand This Hosiery | Don't Stand So Close To Me | The Police | 2.0 | 3.0 | 2.0 | 47 | |
| Leads To The Right | Into The Night | Benny Mardones | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 64 | |
| Fear Factor | Sledgehammer | Peter Gabriel | 2.3 | 2.7 | 2.3 | 61 | |
| (I Will Write) 500 Songs | (I Will Walk ) 500 Miles | The Proclaimers | 4.4 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 257 | |
| Leather Pants, Lubricant, And A Mitten | Rose Petals, Incense And A Kitten | The Association | No Votes | 47 | |||
| When You're Only Homies | You're Only Lonely | JD Souther | 2.0 | 2.5 | 2.0 | 59 | |
| I'm A Little Bit Grosser | Come A Little Bit Closer | Jay And The Americans | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 55 | |
| Blow Yourself Up | Hold Your Head Up | Argent | 5.0 | 3.0 | 5.0 | 61 | |
| I Widen Thongs | I Write The Songs | Barry Manilow | 4.5 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 61 | |
| Breakfast | Midnight Blue | Melissa Manchester | No Votes | 60 | |||
| That's What Some Fans Said | That's What The Man Said | Paul McCartney | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Slime Passages | Time Passages | Al Stewart | No Votes | 38 | |||
| The Year I Was Fat | Year Of The Cat | Al Stewart | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Merry, I Need Your Lovin | Baby I Need Your Lovin | The Four Tops | No Votes | 53 | |||
| I Can't Help Feeling The Left Is Through | I Can't Help Falling In Love With You | Elvis Presley | No Votes | 40 | |||
| Martha, My Dear | Martha My Dear | The Beatles | No Votes | 45 | |||
| Martha's Silver Platter | Maxwell's Silver Hammer | The Beatles | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Insider Trading | After The Lovin | Engelbery Humperdink | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Billy Florio | Saturday Night | The Bay City Rollers | 1.0 | 2.0 | 2.0 | 41 | |
| Mix It Up | Lick It Up | Kiss | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 51 | |
| Singin La Karaoke | Livin La Vida Loca | Ricky Martin | No Votes | 61 | |||
| I Need All Those Geraniums, Man | Magneto And Titanium Man | Paul McCartney | No Votes | 35 | |||
| West Nile And Sars | Venus And Mars | Paul Mccartney | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Flossed My Bum | Lost In Love | Air Supply | 3.5 | 3.0 | 4.0 | 53 | |
| Greedy Swine | 39 | Queen | No Votes | 88 | |||
| These Are The Ways Of Our Wives | These Are The Days Of Our Lives | Queen | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 55 | |
| Four Little Rules | Poor Little Fool | Ricky Nelson | 4.0 | 4.0 | 5.0 | 59 | |
| Catsh In The Cradle ( Ash Shung By Sean Connery) | Cat's In The Cradle | Harry Chapin | No Votes | 59 | |||
| (I Love Your ) Bust The Way You Are | Just The Way You Are | Billy Joel | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 52 | |
| Say Has Anybody Seen My Fishnet Pantyhose? | Say Has Anybody Seen My Sweet Gypsy Rose? | Dawn | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 72 | |
| Reasons To Be Glum | Seasons In The Sun | Terry Jacks | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 50 | |
| The Last Thong | The Last Song | Edward Bear | No Votes | 66 | |||
| Who Are You? | Who Are You | The Who | No Votes | 50 | |||
| Huge Thighs | Blue Eyes | Elton John | No Votes | 53 | |||
| Careleth Lithper | Careless Whisper | George Michael | 4.5 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 78 | |
| Fetish | Cherish | Kool And The Gang | 4.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 58 | |
| It's All They Can Spew | It's All I Can Do | The Cars | No Votes | 54 | |||
| Beast Is The Word | Grease Is The Word | Franki Valli | No Votes | 53 | |||
| Billy Don't Be A Queer | Billy Don't Be A Hero | Paper Lace | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 63 | |
| Bulimia | Cecilia | Simon And Garfunkel | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 57 | |
| Bulimia | Cecilia | Simon And Garfunkel | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 59 | |
| Miffed Today | Drift Away | Dobie Gray | No Votes | 52 | |||
| What Are You? (Ode To Pips And Merry) | Who Are You | The Who | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 49 | |
| You're Thirteen | You're Sixteen | Ringo Starr | 3.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 59 | |
| Pox The Monkey | Shock The Monkey | Peter Gabriel | No Votes | 43 | |||
| A Queer At The Moment | The Heat Of The Moment | Asia | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 74 | |
| Wrinkles In The Morning | Angel Of The Morning | Merillee Rush | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 56 | |
| Purple Veins | Purple Rain | The Artist When He Was Known As Prince | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 56 | |
| When Blood Dries. | When Doves Cry | The Artist Formerly Known As The Idiot Known As Prince | 3.2 | 2.5 | 3.0 | 57 | |
| Fletcher Christian | Sister Christian | Night Ranger | 4.0 | 5.0 | 4.0 | 96 | |
| Blood Bank | Love Shack | B52's | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 58 | |
| Tangled In The Wind | Candle In The Wind | Elton John | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 53 | |
| (I Bought A ) Truck For You | Stuck With You | Huey Lewis And The News | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 43 | |
| In Bed With A Centipede | Ahead By A Century | Tragically Hip | No Votes | 61 | |||
| Pus And Phlegm | Us And Them | Pink Floyd | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Mental Block | Like A Rock | Bob Seger | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 43 | |
| pocket Pool | Rocket Man | Elton John | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Look Up Your Bum | Soak Up The Sun | Sheryl Crow | No Votes | 49 | |||
| (Martha's Stock) Isn't Rising | The Rising | Springsteen | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 72 | |
| Talk To My Body Parts.. | Talk To The Animals | Dr Doolittle The Musical | No Votes | 62 | |||
| Chameleon | Already Gone | The Eagles | No Votes | 47 | |||
| Shave Me | Save Me | Queen | No Votes | 82 | |||
| Pardon My Farts | Harden My Heart | Quarterflash | No Votes | 74 | |||
| They're Gay | The Way | Gigi D'agosthino | 4.0 | 4.0 | 3.5 | 46 | |
| I'm A Retriever | I'm A Believer | The Monkees | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 59 | |
| Don't Like This Peeling Anymore | Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore | Reo Speedwagon | No Votes | 53 | |||
| Come Wail Away | Come Sail Away | Styx | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Letters From The Prison Ward/ Drive Away Chante' | Letters From The 9th Ward/ Walk Away Rene | Rickie Lee Jones | No Votes | 45 | |||
| Checkin Out | Check It Out | John Cougar Mellencamp | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Losin All My Hair | Livin On A Prayer | Bon Jovi | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 61 | |
| The Same | The Flame | Cheap Trick | No Votes | 53 | |||
| The Meat Is On | The Heat Is On | Glenn Frey | No Votes | 52 | |||
| The Bride Is High | The Tide Is High | Blondie | No Votes | 52 | |||
| Clinkin' Our Glasses | Jackie Onassis | John Mellencamp | No Votes | 45 | |||
| Sickle Cell | Mission Bell | Donnie Brooks | No Votes | 53 | |||
| Some Bodies Should Not Wear A Thong Song | Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song | B.j. Thomas | No Votes | 186 | |||
| He Cane In Through The Car's Front Window | She Came In From The Bathroom Window | The Beatles | No Votes | 42 | |||
| No Emotion | The Loco Motion | Litle Eva | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Show Devotion | The Loco Motion | Little Eva | No Votes | 44 | |||
| The Loco Potion | The Loco Motion | Little Eva | No Votes | 50 | |||
| The R.i.a.a | Carry That Weight | The Beatles | No Votes | 43 | |||
| West Nile | stay awhile | The Bels | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 42 | |
| Last Turdless Evening | Last Worthless Evening | Don Henley | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 51 | |
| Brandyman | Candyman | Sammy Davis Jr | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 92 | |
| Gross To You | Close To You | The Carpenters | 4.0 | 5.0 | 4.0 | 56 | |
| With Or Without You | With Or Without You | U2 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 63 | |
| Veranda | Amanda | Boston | No Votes | 55 | |||
| If I Was A Spammer | If I Had A Hammer | Paul, Mary And Peter | No Votes | 56 | |||
| After The Drugging | After The Lovin | Engelbert Humperdinck | No Votes | 68 | |||
| Take Ecstasy, And You'll End Up Next To Me | It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next To Me | Barry White | No Votes | 58 | |||
| These Things Called Rugs | This Thing Called Love | Queen | No Votes | 49 | |||
| I'm Getting Slightly Mad | I'm Going Slightly Mad | Queen | No Votes | 54 | |||
| Rug Removal Machine | Love Removal Machine | The Cult | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 60 | |
| (I Can't Get No..) Hard Contractions | (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction | The Rolling Stones | 4.5 | 4.0 | 3.5 | 52 | |
| Flunkytown | Funkytown | Lipps Inc | 2.5 | 2.2 | 2.5 | 81 | |
| Seasoned Gravy | She's A Lady | Tom Jones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 41 | |
| Which Way You Goin', Jolie? | Which Way You Goin', Billy? | The Poppy Family | 3.0 | 3.0 | 5.0 | 56 | |
| Pool Change | Cool Change | Little River Band | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 50 | |
| Spam | Him | Rupert Holmes | No Votes | 46 | |||
| Whaling | Sailing | Christopher Cross | No Votes | 44 | |||
| The Wrong One | The Long Run | The Eagles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 41 | |
| What's Drugs Got To Do With It? | What's Love Got To Do With It | Tina Turner | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 54 | |
| Always Something Bare To Remind Me | Always Something There To Remind Me | Naked Eyes | 4.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 59 | |
| Letting Gays Inside | Bette Davis Eyes | Kim Carnes | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 49 | |
| Kobe, Tell Us Why | I Can't Tell You Why | The Eagles | No Votes | 51 | |||
| Scotch On The Rocks | Love On The Rocks | Neil Diamond | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 52 | |
| Overfilled | Overkill | Men At Work | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 60 | |
| Web Spammer | Sledgehammer | Peter Gabriel | 5.0 | 4.0 | 5.0 | 41 | |
| Stray Cat Splat | Stray Cat Strut | Stray Cats | No Votes | 67 | |||
| Kobe Went Down To Boulder | The Devil Went Down To Georgia | Charlie Daniels Band | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 64 | |
| A Little Quick Pee, A Little Quick Pooh | A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You | The Monkees | No Votes | 48 | |||
| Ballad Of The Fish Filet | Balad Of The Green Berets | Sgt Barry Sadler | 3.7 | 3.3 | 3.7 | 150 | |
| No Haired Man | Nowhere Man | The Beatles | No Votes | 46 | |||
| Green Tea | Sweet Pea | Tommy Roe | No Votes | 49 | |||
| These Dwarfs Are Great For Tossin | These Boots Are Made For Walkin | Nancy Sinatra | No Votes | 53 | |||
| You Can't Hurry Dumps | You Can't Hurry Love | Diana Ross And The Supremes | No Votes | 138 | |||
| Lets Stew Pussycats | What's New Pussycat | Tom Jones | No Votes | 53 | |||
| Chicken Wings | Broken Wings | Mister Mister | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 1077 | |
| Abortion | Emotion | Samantha Sang | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 94 | |
| Throwing Up Your Beers | Holding Back The Years | Simply Red | 4.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 64 | |
| I Think You Can Moan Now | I Think We're Alone Now | Tiffany | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 57 | |
| Shaving Off My Bum For You | Saving All My Love For You | Whitney Houston | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Should I Shave Or Let It Grow? | Should I Say Or Should I Go | The Clash | 3.7 | 3.7 | 3.7 | 70 | |
| To Be A Brother | To Be A Lover | Billy Idol | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Those Tight Wee Bums | Tonight She Comes | The Cars | No Votes | 54 | |||
| Suck And Blow | Touch And Go | The Cars | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 56 | |
| Bse | Abc | The Jackson 5 | 5.0 | 4.0 | 5.0 | 49 | |
| SARS Infectious, Down In Texas | All My Exes Live In Texas | George Strait | 4.3 | 2.3 | 2.7 | 47 | |
| You Write Up My Wife | You Light Up My Life | Debby Boone | No Votes | 55 | |||
| Another Day In L.A. Vice | Another Day In Paradise | Phil Collins | 4.0 | 3.7 | 4.0 | 45 | |
| Leather My Face | Leather And Lace | Stevie Nicks | 4.7 | 3.0 | 4.7 | 76 | |
| Motorkill | Overkill | Men At Work | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Texas | Texas | Chris Rea | 3.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 50 | |
| Dissection | Objection | Shakira | 5.0 | 4.0 | 5.0 | 49 | |
| Only Nineteen | Only Sixteen | Sam Cooke | No Votes | 59 | |||
| A Thong This Time | The Longest Time | Billy Joel | No Votes | 51 | |||
| Your Wrist | The Twist | Chubby Checker | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 44 | |
| I'm Into Something Wood | I'm Into Something Good | Hermans Hermits | 4.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 45 | |
| Shouldn't It Be Rice | Wouldn't It Be Nice | The Beach Boys | No Votes | 42 | |||
| Martini, Schir, And Pleasche Make It Dry | Ordinary Average Guy | Joe Walsh | No Votes | 45 | |||
| The Poconos | Kokomo | The Beach Boys | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 66 | |
| Blasted On Wine | Bottle Of Wine | Tom Paxton | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Two Foot Putt | Coconut | Nilsson | No Votes | 54 | |||
| Nothin's Within | Dust In The Wind | Kansas | No Votes | 45 | |||
| Cat Box Liner | Jet Airliner | Steve Miller | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 47 | |
| Did He Go Gay? | Montego Bay | Bobby Bloom | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 61 | |
| Save Parliament Hill | The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill | The Beatles | No Votes | 35 | |||
| Another One Buys Her Bust | Another One Bites The Dust | Queen | 3.3 | 3.7 | 3.3 | 116 | |
| Been On Drugs Before | Been In Love Before | Cutting Crew | No Votes | 56 | |||
| Goolies | Truly | Lionel Ritchie | No Votes | 42 | |||
| Flip It | Whip It | Devo | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Hanging With A Marmot | Hanging By A Moment | Lifehouse | No Votes | 62 | |||
| How You've Defined Me | How You Remind Me | Nickelback | 4.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 44 | |
| Six Feet Under | Down Under | Men At Work | 2.7 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 58 | |
| Playing The British Open | Into The Great Wide Open | Tom Petty | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Kobe's Cryin | Jamie's Cryin | Van Halen | No Votes | 61 | |||
| They're Ours, Man | Guitarzan | Raystevens | 4.5 | 3.5 | 4.0 | 241 | |
| Sherrif In The Morning | Angel Of The Morning | Merrilee Rush | No Votes | 42 | |||
| Sons Of That Saddam Hussain | Rhythm Of The Fallin Rain | The Cascades | 3.0 | 3.0 | 4.0 | 56 | |
| Brand New Tank | Brand New Key | Melanie | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 51 | |
| Laxative Swirl | Cinnamon Girl | Neil Young | No Votes | 45 | |||
| Syphillis | Cinnamon | Derek | 3.0 | 1.0 | 4.0 | 63 | |
| She Broke The Wind | She's Like The Wind | Patrick Swayze | 3.3 | 4.3 | 4.7 | 76 | |
| And I'll Wee Wee There | Handle Me With Care | Travelling Wilburys | No Votes | 50 | |||
| A World Without Drugs | A World Without Love | Peter And Gordon | No Votes | 58 | |||
| Crackhead | Blackbird | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 55 | |
| Qusay | Cupid | Sam Cooke | No Votes | 44 | |||
| Hello, You Die | Hello Goodbye | The Beatles | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 51 | |
| Herpes, Crabs And Fleas | Gypsies Tramps And Thieves | Sonny And Cher | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 73 | |
| Come On Feel It, Royce | Cum On Feel The Noise | Slade | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 64 | |
| Does Anybody Really Know What Kind It Is? | Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? | Chicago | No Votes | 43 | |||
| Lay The Same | Play The Game | Queen | No Votes | 47 | |||
| You're Not Gonna Make It | We're Not Gonna Take It | Twisted Sister | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 46 | |
| Green Acres I Love | Tenager In Love | Dion | No Votes | 71 | |||
| Cause I Mugged You | Coz I Luv You | Slade | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 46 | |
| Come On Peel For Boys | Cum On Feel The Noise | Slade | 4.7 | 4.3 | 4.7 | 51 | |
| Goodbye To Wayne | Goodbye T' Jane | Slade | No Votes | 48 | |||
| My Girl Fran | My Friend Stan | Slade | No Votes | 51 | |||
| Lay Me For A While | Stay Awhile | The Bells | No Votes | 56 | |||
| Cop Muzik | Pop Muzik | M | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 49 | |
| Latex Glove | Tainted Love | Soft Cell | 4.8 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 54 | |
| Topless Wife | Walk Of Life | Dire Straits | 4.5 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 47 | |
| I Dropped A Turd | I'm Like A Bird | Smelly Furtado | 2.5 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 50 | |
| Timbits | Cupid | Sam Cooke | No Votes | 49 | |||
| Killing Iraqis | Killing Me Softly | Roberta Flack | No Votes | 112 | |||
| Infidel | Mission Bell | Donnie Brooks | 5.0 | 4.0 | 5.0 | 86 | |
| Mr Saddam | Mr Sandman | The Chordettes | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 80 | |
| Five Guys | My Guy | Mary Wells | No Votes | 52 | |||
| Night Sniper | Pied Piper | Crispian St. Peters | No Votes | 62 | |||
| Did She Really Lay Those Guys | Pretty Little Angel Eyes | Curtis Lee | 5.0 | 2.0 | 3.0 | 59 | |
| Booked A Flight Economy, Now I've Got Deep Vein Thrombosis | Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious | Mary Poppins | 1.3 | 4.0 | 3.3 | 121 | |
| Intelligence From Our Friends | A Little Help From My Friends | The Beatles | 1.0 | 1.0 | 1.0 | 58 | |
| That From The USDA | Back In The USSR | The Beatles | No Votes | 47 | |||
| Sung Together | Come Together | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 41 | |
| Don't Let Will Tong Catch You Lying | Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying | Gerry And The Pacemakers | No Votes | 51 | |||
| I'll Be Back (the Arnold Schwarzenegger Song) | I'll Be Back | The Beatles | 3.0 | 2.0 | 1.0 | 55 | |
| I'll Follow This Bum | I'll Follow The Sun | The Beatles | No Votes | 51 | |||
| Margueritas, We Have Made | Lovely Rita, (Meter Maid) | The Beatles | No Votes | 47 | |||
| Far Right Obsessions | Midnight Confessions | Grass Roots | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 52 | |
| Tongue Stuck Out, It's Acid On A Blotter | Mrs Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter | Hermans Hermits | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 43 | |
| Please | |||||||