I have a mansion, I forget the price,
she said I can keep it, she is so nice
I was unfaithful, some booty calls,
I'm at the cleaners, she wants it all

I say mediation, but she wants a big slice
try litigation, and it won't be so nice
we're just looking for things on which to agree
wife's been good to me so far....

my maserati's worth one eighty five,
i hope it's still there when I arrive
she gets the limo, to ride in the back
all, this is just for one hop in the sack

she wants the records, I get the cd's
lose my collection, of vinyl with ease
so I got me a lawyer, cause she wants it all
I just hope I keep pants on, she's busting my b*lls

lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
(everybody says stay cool..... be cool)
this alimony is like payin for two,
wife's been good to me so far

I'm eating smarties, all I can afford,
my new house is needing a door
it's tough to handle the torture and shame
but I still have some cash left, if her mind don't change

she said I'm lazy, but I still have a chance
(everybody say oh yeah, go yeah)
to get her back and rekindle our old romance
wife's been good to me so far..