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Song Parodies -> "Billy Don't Be A Queer"

Original Song Title:

"Billy Don't Be A Hero"

Original Performer:

Paper Lace

Parody Song Title:

"Billy Don't Be A Queer"

Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

the gay parade came marching down main street
they showed their legs and bare behinds..
up on the float, well, there stood old billy
dancing a storm up, just devine..
and then he grabbed some old guys shoulder
another life has gone astray
from where I stood, thought billy was tryin,
to tell the world he's fully gay

billy, don't be a queer, oh
don't be a fool with your life
billy don't be a queer, oh,
why don't you just get a wife?
and as he passed on the float,
I said, billy, you silly goat
billy, don't be a queer, oh
act naturally..

the float went by, I thought what a waste there
he always seemed a ladies man
but how could I know that he loved chest hair
he hated sarahs, loved the stans
he always volunteered to model,
and always he'd impress
but I didn't know every moment
he loved to wear a dress

billy, don't be a queer, oh
don't be a fool with your life
billy don't be a queer, oh,
why don't you just get a wife?
and as he passed on the float,
I said, billy, you silly goat
billy, don't be a queer, oh
act naturally..

I heard his mom and dad got a letter,
to tell them , hey there guys, I'm gay
the letter said, he was a queer, oh
that he was surely born that way..
I heard they threw the letter away

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Enough - June 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Two anti-gay "parodies" in the same day? Nearly as tiresome as William Tong and his anti-Bush rants. Give it a rest.
Michael Pacholek - June 11, 2003 - Report this comment
I guess Malcolm wants Billy for himself. Not a bad parody, though.
Enough - June 16, 2003 - Report this comment
I disagree with your "not bad" assessment, Michael. Replacing "hero" with "queer oh" is grade-school stuff. Malcolm may actually be capable of a decent parody, but we'll never know that for sure until he decides to go for quality over quantity.
Michael Pacholek - June 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Wait a minute, Mr. Enough: Are you saying that Malcolm is just slapping some parodies together, without regard for talent or taste, for the sake of driving up his totals, so he, a rightist, can surpass William Tong, a leftist, for the title of most parodies on this site? Could he really be so cynical? Would he really stoop so low as to try something like that? Nahhhh...
malcolm higgins - June 17, 2003 - Report this comment
funny.. but pseudonyms always evoke envy and spite.. let me see... hmmm yep.. there is "enough" as a contributor.. zip... zero..... try and write one yourself "enough" or SIGN YOUR REAL NAME TO YOUR COMMENTS!!!!!! you telling me in almost 500 songs I havent done a good one??? can we have like a general vote on at LEAST ONE GOOD SONG BY ME ON THIS SITE??????????? HUH??? maybe we'll then have had "enough" of idiotic and anonymous comments... grow nuts and sign your name to it
moi - June 17, 2003 - Report this comment
I was going to say to see my song, but I absolutely cannot do what you did before when you slurred Italian-Americans.
Enough - June 17, 2003 - Report this comment
I could tell you my name is Trace, but it makes no difference since we don't know each other. Malcolm Higgins may well be a pseudonym too. It doesn't matter. I'll participate in your general vote, though. Let's start with the 99th percentile. Please name the 5 best of your 500 parodies. I'll look at them objectively and everyone else is invited to do the same.
Michael Pacholek - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Malcolm's done several good ones, and even a few corkers, if Sammy Sosa doesn't mind me using that word. Though he has slipped lately as his Merry-Pip obsession has, in the words of Mike Myers' character Dieter, become tiresome. But I just thought of something: Paper Lace did the original of "Billy," but it was Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods who had the hit. Paper Lace did come back later that year with "The Night Chicago Died," but there was never a shootout between the cops and the Al Capone mob, and "the East Side of Chicago" would be Lake Michigan.
MALCOLM HIGGINS - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
ahh Michael.. always the historian... usually right too.. btw.. the merry and pip stuff is passe' back to bodily functions and stuff.. more my line..
malcolm higgins - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
no pseudonym I'm not afraid to say who I am.. my five best?? gawd.... maybe these five ..."a few of my favourite drinks" "bagel in the morning" "the cat who chewed your new shoes" "hermaphrodite rhapsody" "loony toony not agreein little midget north korean" I'll write about anything any time.. whatever crosses my mind.. tell me what you think of those
Royce Miller - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Trace--("Enough")-It's pretty cheap of you to squawk at Malcolm for "quantity over quality", when, actually, how many parodies have you written, and what are they? Or, are you just another arm chair Parody quarterback? Let's see your list of parodies and let's evaluate them.
Michael Pacholek - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
"Back to bodily functions and stuff, more my line." You said it, Malcolm, not me! (LOL) And "Little Midget North Korean" was a riot.
Enough - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I agree with MP that Midget North Korean is very good. I also like A Few Of My Favourite Drinks.
I wish I was Bob Geldof - July 24, 2004 - Report this comment
I laughed so hard to this song, that I nearly gave myself a heart-attack!! Luckily my son was near by!!!
John H. - April 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Great parody. Loved the associated truth behind it and the relation to the original song. Well done.
C. W. Buckett - October 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Darn, you actually beat me to the parody! I had been thinking of one, but of course it wasn't a "Gay" type. I actually used "As he started to go, she said 'Billy don't pick your nose". You win, I'll stick with my non-parodies and my book writing, I guess.
mike - December 23, 2010 - Report this comment
i h@te 2 s@y it but U got to give it to melie mel @nd & the furious five 4 the me$$age

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