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Song Parodies -> "Talwin"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Harry Chapin

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

for those who don't know, talkin is a very high potency pain killer/narcotic. I had very invasive surgery last week, and will be circling at about 20,000 feet every day for the next 10 days or so.. so some of my parodies may be right off the wall. this stuff is just a kick in the pants off herion, an very hallucogenic.. brace yourselves.. btw for anyone who cares, it was BARIATRIC, or weight loss surgery Malky's going from 365- 190 in the next 12 months.. finally free of this lifelong fat blanket.. :)
this one was from a mix of personal experience and talwin....

I was chewin hard on Crisco,
my jeans were splitting out and too tight
the double arch ahead, seemed to slow me down..
a combo 3 would be right.....
wazz up for you? the speaker threw
it's a shame you cannot get out, it's a loss.
I just rolled down the window...
I said. combo 3 with some sauce...

then that smell became familiar
I could swear I'd stuffed my face before
and when the last swig was taken,
I had an apple pie stuffed in the door..

it took a while but I looked in the mirror,
and I swiped at the mayo on my face
the stain seemed to go very slowly..
but I got cleaned up, just the same
and I thought.. you fat pig Malky..
you should not talk, you should moo
now the diets have failed, you look like a whale
there's still some hope here for you

it was somewhere in the surgery
they cut my guts that spread out too far.
reattached south, well beyond that big bag..
my "food pouch" now just a scar
you see, I was gonna be a sprinter,
until I seen that omelette fry..
bacon and grits, a little sausage,
and I stuffed it all down inside..

now I've got nothing inside me,
to keep my stuffings down
it's so wild, man, listen
there's nothing in me.. with energy for my mind..
and there's now no food inside me,
a liquid supplement,
'cause I've let my appetite run me
over.. till my time would run out....

my mouth is dry, it's the talwin,
yes, I'm flying, shivers and all
I'll tell you why this I'm trying..
fatness dying's no life at all...

there is not much more for me to talk about
and once all my fat cells are gone
I'll try to live my life the right way
excercise, eat, and live long
the wife and I,we now eat together
a single etree, for a change
and it's under twenty dollars, for the both, and that's fair
and baby, I'm amazed
well another man might have gone nutty,
another turned right to a jerk
another pair of pants, as the lower I go
it's now a 3x for shirts..

and I'll end this song with silence,
it's strange how this will affect me..
but this is what I think I asked for
eat no fruit, but mac and cheese

you see I was gonna be a sprinter
but the food I craved I shoved inside
I just blobbed and led a bad life
now I have help I can try
and here, a little ditty,
from talwin's narco zone
I sit and type it in my undies..
drinking tea, oh man I'm stoned...

I love talwin, on my mind... yeah I'm stoned......

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