I been trying all night, and I'm flat on my heels..
then a voice in my ear makes me squirm and feel..
it's this lady callin, says I need you, "dear"
and it's half past one, Iand I've had some beers

sometimes I'm lonely and the longing gets too much
she's very tall for a chick, she towers way above
she can't see my bone at all..
where was that thing was my "gaydar" up?
she has some bad facial hair.. gaydar up?

the d.j yells it's the last song,
and she grabs me tight,l and we dance along
something there I feel her thighs..
and I'm feeling it, to my surprise...

now I am worried, and I think I've had enough
she grabs me tighter, and now push comes to shove
she's not a woman at all...
thanks for that tyhing, and it's called gaydar oh,
we always sense it's a guy..... with gaydar up

on my feet now, and out of there
rinse my mouth out, straighten my hair
just lost some @ss here I go
now the jokes on me, and they all know....
as I'm walkin I keep humming that supid song
strangely nice, but I know it's wrong
and the shemale came on way too strong
gaydar's up, this "lover"s gone

when I feel lonely and I'm sure I've done enough
I sense the signals coming down from above
don't need no lady with balls..

I got a thing that's called haydar, up
I got a line on the guys
I got a thing that's called haydar, up
I got a thing that's called haydar, up