when I need to think I just take another drink of mai tai (mai tai)
helps me with my pooh, it just keeps it flowin through, the mai tai

I thought a baileys or a beer would be better
but when I go and get'er there's just nothin wetter
my arse is torn apart cause they make you fart, the mai tais

only one or two is impossible to do with mai tais
have a dozen more, ending up on the floor, with mai tais
mai tais make me feel so good I'm a wanna,
drink a dozen more so I think that I am gonna
make a big pail and drink till I'm pale
the mai tais

as a matter of consumption it's the very tops
squeeze out the bottle for the very last drop
it's a perfect mix, and to be exact
I mix at eye level, my pals say I'm whacked

no daquiri mix and no swizzle sticks, a mai tai
if you have the right tricks, you can use your dick to mix a mai tai
swirl the head around and put it in deeper
drink too much of them, and meet the grim reaper,
it's good to be bad, but watch when you drink a mai tai

no daquiri mix and no swizzle sticks, a mai tai
if you have the right tricks, you can use your dick to mix a mai tai
swirl the head around and put it in deeper
drink too much of them, and meet the grim reaper,
it's good to be bad, but watch when you drink a mai tai

sold in a can today, and I'm gonna drink away
a mai tai