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Song Parodies -> "Expected When Ed Became Carol"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Expected When Ed Became Carol"

Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

The legend lives on from the surgeons on down
to the nurses who handled the cut off
'twas great, it was said, from the toes to the head,
and they even lipoedboth "her" buttocks

with a desire to be fem he paid cash (plenty then)
to remove all his hairy appendage
that the doctor he knew, would wield blade straight and true
to make quick work of scarring and mendage

the first came the slice and it came off really nice,
as the meat and two veg left the table
and the people there knew, that desires best be true,
as to reattach, they were not able

as they dreamed of leather plants, they put in both implants
as the form rounded out kind of female
but to change life, one knows, depends how luck goes
and the best laid plans can get derailed

the oxygen tent made them all feel so spent
as the gas all went in to the patient
and it was well past the noon when the first began to swoon
as they dropped the in room breath quotient

and a vein began to bleed, so some suturing would need
to take that big pumper and close it
and every doctor knows as the cauterizing goes
that they all miss the days when they froze it..

as suppertime came, they installed the new respect
for the highest of heels and some balance
and later on that night, as the decorators might,
they put in some eyebrows as valance

the doctor called O.R and he said this was a bore
as the closing time came really early
he remembered the time, that things were not so fine
when he made Bobby turn into Shirley

as the anaesthetic waned, she became rather pained
and she bitched about all that's around her
and the nurses pinched her ass, and reattached the gas
and they left her just as they found her

she might have woke up, or she might have just died
either way, now I guess it won't matter
as a phone will be soon installed in every room wall
so as she moves round she can chatter

they took a look below, at the part they would know
that men would ask of the stitching
besides, they used to say, it would help to pass the day
and they hoped it would always be itching

and the scratching she did, from the point below the mid
was resulting from her first infection
and now she had a beast it was fungus and some yeast
and it took some more quick intervention

in a church rectory she stood up and said it's me
as her unwitting husband got married
and very soon inside, he would wish that he could hide
as her hormones all changed, became harried

the legend lives on from the doctor on down
of the man who died there in a barrel
of the crap he would endure, he covered up with manure
all expected when "Ed" became "carol"

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