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Song Parodies -> "Shrink The Stretch Marks"

Original Song Title:

"Sink The Bismark"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"Shrink The Stretch Marks"

Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

for those of us with a woman who has had kids... well.. you know the story
she may be just age forty one, but now the marks are more than one
she never really looks like shit, but the marks of stretch they now have come
she really had a vice-like grip, but now it feels so loose
on her chest were things as tight as nuts but now they hang so loose

then one wet cold and foggy night, she told me that she knew she would
asked her for the reason, but she knew I understood
she had to shrink the stretch mark, the terror of the she
and resurrect that rack, so nice and firm and nippl-ee

we got to find that little skin tag slip that's making her so crass
we gotta shrink that stretch mark, baby, then we'll liposuck her ass
gotta ger her runnin , boys and we'll turn those nuts around,
we gotta shrink the stretch marks, and make those puppies round

the doctor found the stretch mark, and offered surgery,
my wife she thought it easy, that they just would go away
we gotta shrink the stretch mark, was the battle sound
and when that skin was cut away,
her bra cup size was down

for six long years, and many nights, we tried to say "ok"
trhe doctor told us plainly, that they'd never go away
cause somewhere on that ribcage, there would one day have to be
a try to shrink the stretch mark, with plastic surgery


we got to find that little skin tag slip that's making her so crass
we gotta shrink that stretch mark, baby, then we'll liposuck her ass
gotta ger her runnin , boys and we'll turn those nuts around,
we gotta shrink the stretch marks, and make those puppies round

the anaeshtetic gone, she woke, and found her chest was sore,
the towel rack was back, he said, they won't sag so low no more
the surgeon said I did my best to turn tthose pups around,
a towel rack, it might not be, but picturehooks you've found


we got to find that little skin tag slip that's making her so crass
we gotta shrink that stretch mark, baby, then we'll liposuck her ass
gotta ger her runnin , boys and we'll turn those nuts around,
we gotta shrink the stretch marks, and make those puppies round


we got to find that little skin tag slip that's making her so crass
we gotta shrink that stretch mark, baby, then we'll liposuck her ass
gotta ger her runnin , boys and we'll turn those nuts around,
we gotta shrink the stretch marks, and make those puppies round

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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kitkatbarr09 - May 28, 2004 - Report this comment
That is excelent!!!!!!!!!my mom could use some help with that. She had me at 16 and boy did that hurt her looks. Her bikini scares away other people at the beach.[No offence, mom.I love u , and u rock] Is it true that if ur mom gets em u will 2? YIKES. I think I'll stick 2 adoption.

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