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Song Parodies -> "The Transsexual Golfer Named 'bagger'"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Transsexual Golfer Named 'bagger'"

Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

the legend lives on from the PGA on down,
of the new golf pro named Mianne Bagger
as the story now goes, I guess everyone knows
how she was born with a putter, a "wagger"
with a scalpel so skilled, made a hole to be filled
and a name change was done just to seal it
now when you yell loud to "bite" here's a chick with some might
and a man's strength, I know I can feel it

the girl was offside, on the gender side of life
when she asked for a sex change in Norway
as she lay there sound asleep, with nary a quick peep
a surgery gave her a fairway
concluding her tour, she shot well for sure
but she always had length, height and carries
but where should she hit, is it unfair just a bit,
should she play reds of hit from the man's tees?

the gallery went quiet as she walked a lady stride
as she hit out of sight she's a striver
but little did they know, as the AP story goes,
she was born with balls, tees, and a driver
now every pro knows, when you hit it on the nose
there's a sweet spot right there by the hozel
but Mianne surely reads just what every golfer needs,
to hit long and hit straight is a "nozzle"

when qualifying came, well the story was the same,
as she took liberties with the golfers
but not a woman there was giving her a stare
when we found out her real name was walter
but to cut the story short, as a transgender women's sport
as they work buns of steel to gain distance
a smarter person knows, once the penis it goes
that the LPGA is for misses

but all the fun aside, when this woman hits her stride
all the ladies will scream el hillalee
and the only chick there who was born not a mare
who'll hit longer is that chick michelle wie
so ladies you should know, as she now becomes a pro
that the sport is now open for conflict
and the sharpest tees there and an inflatable pair
now belong to the mixed tour's new district

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Guy - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Sounds like she traded her balls and putter for a hole in one.
John Barry - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
This is great! Nice job.
Michael Pacholek - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Fore! No, five!
John Jenkins - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Although she can play in women's tournaments in Europe, the American LPGA has a rule requiring that each member had to have been born a woman. "Ms. Bagger" contends that she was born a woman emotionally and meets that qualification.

Anyway, a very clever spoof, Malcolm, with a lot of good lines, especially the hozel/nozzle rhyme.
Ethan - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment
was this inspired by the simpsos last week at all or is it just a coincidence?
malcolm higgins - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
never watch the simpsons.. just a coincidence
Royce Miller - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
well done, funny parody
Shan - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
absolutly hilarious

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