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Song Parodies -> "Sterilized By The Nurse Last Night"

Original Song Title:

"Paradise By The Dashboard Light"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Meatloaf

Parody Song Title:

"Sterilized By The Nurse Last Night"

Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

the surgeon and female intern get it on while their patient sleeps
Doc;

I remember on the x-ray thing,
'cause they took it only yesterday
a darkened bunch of cells
and there was several other tumors in sight
and I never had a thrill
thinkin back becoming a surgeon
when I was in Med school
practising the sutures right

it's like "you pull on the skin and you sew so tight
your scar will look so good, if you do this right
and don't forget to sterilize the end of the knife
freeze them up to paralyzed and slice with the knife..
come on That's right
well come on that's nice
though we show anatomy on weekday nights
all your tools were sterilized by the nurse last night..

NURSE:
ain't no doubt about it,
this wound needs dressed
because I saw your stitching line,
and it was really messed
that's the thing about it
it's how you men go about it
ain't no doubt about it

DOC:
the kid is barely seventeen,
and you are not impressed



tell me, can you hear his heart?
have you got it on the monitor?
we've been prepping for so long
now lets knock him out and have some fun
and I gotta let you know
oncology? I never did get it..
so open him up wide so we can get inside
and he will be all right
well we gotta start, just get begun

and now his body is open and we're inside
I hope the xray showed all the things not right
give a little forceps, and clamp that off tight
hope the cutting instruments are clean all right
come on.. hold tight
come on hold tight

Though it's red and bloody in your guts inside
all my tools sterilized by the nurse last night
is that dirt beside him, did you scrub up right?
surgically sterilized by the nurse last night

we gotta do what we can
and let mother nature do the rest

ain't no doubt about it,
this wound needs dressed
because I saw your stitching line,
and it was really

we're gonna go all the way tonight
he's gonna be ok tonight's the night
we're gonna go all the way tonight
he's gonna be ok tonight's the night
we're gonna go all the way tonight
he's gonna be ok tonight's the night
we're gonna go all the way tonight
he's gonna be ok tonight's the night


teaching surgeon outside the room, video broadcast::


Ok here we go, we got a real pressure dressing needed here..
one out, blood has been drawn, there's more.. is he medically inclined? where's the close up?
and there it is.. some stitch work right down his middle
boy that line is really wide!!
he's bleeding worse, there's a tourniquet on now it's not letting up at all.. he's gonna die this second! the doctor's wobbled on his centre, and here he doesn't know..
what does he know?
he had to dive in head first is he stunned? an ouch! NO! safety with the nurse in place..
this doc really makes things worse when out there..
doctor looks up at her face..she's a bitch
he's pawing.. what a grip he's got
he's whispering words..
she says no... she calls him "dirt" sexy words! holy cow
angel face!
he's taking a pretty big chance out there..
almost daring her to blow him off...
the surgeon glances over, looks up, retracted! rectaction down that suture line! the homicide squeeze in on!
here it comes, squeeze there.. it will help him close..
here he goes.. here's the last stitch in place..
holy cow, the patient's gonna make it..


NURSE:

Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further --!
Did you wash these?
did you scrub them with lather
sterilize these?
autoclave them easy?
will you make them so clean you're gonna save the kid's life
will you close him today and wash that scalpel right?
did you wash them?
did you do it with lather
did you clean them?
so he'll heal so much better
will you make them so clean you're gonna save the kid's life
will you close him today and wash that scalpel right?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further --!
Did you wash these?
did you scrub them with lather

DOC:

there was grease on it
baby baby there was grease on it
there was grease on it,
I washed it with water just this morning
there was grease on it
baby baby there was grease on it
there was grease on it,
I washed it with water just this morning

NURSE:

did you wash them?
did you do it with lather
did you clean them?
so he'll heal so much better
will you make them so clean you're gonna save the kid's life
will you close him today and wash that scalpel right?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further --!
Did you wash these?
did you scrub them with lather



Whats it gonna be doc??
Come on
I can wait all night
Whats it gonna be doc yes or no?
Whats it gonna be doc yes or no?

Doc:


I'll take the fifth on that,
baby baby take the fifth on that
I'll take the fifth on that
that's my new answer says the lawyer

NURSE:

I gotta know right now!!!
Do you wash them?

DOC:

I'll take the fifth on it

NURSE:

did you wash them with lather?

DOC:

Baby baby take the fifth on it

NURSE:

Do you clean these??
Will you now deceive me?

DOC::

take the fifth on it

NURSE:

dod you make them so clean you're gonna save the kid's life?

DOC

take the fifth on it, I'll give you the answer through a lawyer Lawyer!! I'll tell you through my lawyer!!!

NURSE:

can you make it today can you save the kid's life?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
did you wash them?
hey... is that english leather????


DOC

I'll take the fifth on it



NURSE

did you do it with lather?

DOC:

take the fifth on it

NURSE:

did you do it with lather?

DOC:

I just cant stand it any longer,
our patient is dazed
the anaesthesiologist
has taken a break
I started swearing to god don't make another grave
and I would love him till the end of time
swore I'd clean the tools up better next time
so now I'm scrubbing up the scalpels next time
to keep the patients alive
cause if I gotta spend another minute or two
I just think it will help them survive
I'll never break a promise, hippocratic vow,
but the HMO says what I can do right now
I'm cleaning up the tools next time
it's all that I can do
clean a little better next time
so I can close and then shag you..


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   2
 4
 4
 

User Comments

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alvin - November 09, 2007 - Report this comment
did you scrub them with lather...lol
John Barry - November 09, 2007 - Report this comment
A probe-digious and well-written effort.
Agrimorfee - November 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Little pacing hiccups in the first half, but got better and best as it continued. This would be worthy for Scrubs: My Musical Pt. 2, if they were to do such a thing. Very, very good work on a hard, hard song Malky!
Roger Wood - November 17, 2007 - Report this comment
A difficult one to do, and a stalwart effort!

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