As my two year anniversary of being a site resident draws nearer, I have finally decided to write one of these things. Nobody could ever accuse me of being quick on the uptake...

I began writing parodies when I was 12-ish...in an effort to annoy people. Oh, how my intentions have changed. Until I found the site I thought that I was part of a rare breed...you know, it was me and Weird Al, and the guys at Low Book Sales...(Utah thing...though I'm from Wyoming)...so I was more than tickled to find an online community full of folks who knew what the art of parody was all about. It became my goal to infiltrate said community and to become their Queen. Yeah...I'll leave it to you to decide if I've accomplished that one yet...

Given my chosen screen name, I submitted mostly LOTR related stuff at first...and then slowly began sharing, through parody, the essential truths that make me who I am. In case you haven't read my discography yet...here's all you really need to know about me:

1. I am unrelentingly charming and adorable. This is indisputable. I only mention it so much because it adds to said charm.

2. I am also unrelentingly clumsy. Were it not for my charm and adorable-ness...I would have been voted "Most Likely to Break Her Back While Dancing" in High School. Sadly, those who were inclined to give me said title would eventually be proven right. Seriously. I did that once. Thankfully, I was not paralyzed...and my full mobility has allowed me to continue falling at ridiculous times and places throughout my life.

3. I am somewhat prone to attracting the 'wrong' men. I am, therefore, single...at least until Vin Diesel gives up the "I'm not in love with Arwen" charade and comes to marry me. I have every bit of confidence that he will.

4. I am, on occassion, a bit of a flirt. Just a little one. You probably wouldn't even notice that if I didn't point it out.

And finally...

5. I am, in spite of the countless arguments to the contrary, my biggest fan. I couldn't love myself more if I tried. And trust me, I've tried.

So, that's me in a nutshell. If you want to know more...you have to read the stuff. I think I'm known for writing 'slice of life' type stuff...and a large portion of my work is based on stuff that has actually happened to me. I'll leave it to you to figure out what's real and what isn't.

Thanks for checking my page out...

Have fun...

And just admit it...you already have a little bit of a crush on me, don't you? ; )

Song Parodies -> Lyrics

P stands for Pacing, F stands for How Funny, and O is for Overall Score.

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Parody TitleOriginal TitlePerformerSubmittedPFOH
FrodoVenusBananarama2003-11-154.54.64.766
My Elf Crush is BiAmerican PieDon McLean2003-11-204.54.34.265
Ring Bearing ManPiano ManBilly Joel2003-11-205.05.05.064
Arwen's Lament 2Head Over FeetAlanis Morrisette2003-11-203.73.73.779
Arwen's LamentYou Oughta KnowAlanis Morrisette2003-11-204.34.34.3111
MayoHelloNeil Diamond2003-11-212.32.32.352
Cranberry JuiceSong Sung BlueNeil Diamond2003-11-213.73.73.762
NamelessShamelessGarth Brooks or Billy Joel2003-11-212.32.32.364
Celebrity AffirmationAffirmationSavage Garden2003-11-214.64.74.562
We Need Three New JugsHow Deep Is Your Love?The Bee Gees2003-11-225.05.05.059
'Cuz There's No TurkeyBecause You Loved MeCeline Dion2003-11-264.64.64.653
My Favorite LOTR ThingsMy Favorite ThingsMaria in 'The Sound of Music'2003-11-284.54.64.5107
The Longest Time (my LOTR obsession)The Longest TimeBilly Joel2003-12-024.65.05.052
Thank You TolkienThank YouAlanis Morrisette2003-12-035.05.05.072
An Ode to Strong BadThe Way You Make Me FeelMichael Jackson2003-12-044.23.83.852
I Will Walk to MordorI'll Be Home for ChristmasTraditional2003-12-084.94.64.944
Let's Hear it For the ElfLet's Hear it For the BoyDenise Williams2003-12-115.05.05.061
A Song about Sugar Cravings...Lost in Your EyesDebbie Gibson2003-12-123.53.53.570
Mortal Ho-bagTeenage DirtbagWheatus2003-12-124.24.04.266
Frodo, the Angst Filled HobbitRudolph the Rednosed ReindeerTraditional2003-12-124.95.05.071
My Name is ArwenMy Name is LukaSuzanne Vega2003-12-174.74.54.691
Tricksy Little HobbitsssRainy Days and MondaysThe Carpenters2003-12-185.04.84.864
A Subtle PleaMy Name Is LukaSuzanne Vega2003-12-185.05.05.081
Rohan's GirlJessie's GirlRick Springfield2003-12-195.04.24.563
My Theatre ExperienceTom's DinerSuzanne Vega2003-12-195.05.05.066
I Just Watched 'Gigli'More Than A FeelingBoston2003-12-224.85.05.067
Get Ready (Faramir's Song)Get ReadyThe Temptations2003-12-314.64.64.6355
My Guy (Arwen's version)My GuyMary Wells2003-12-315.05.05.064
Can't Believe It's OverDon't Dream It's OverCrowded House2003-12-314.45.05.0456
I've Got the Damn FluWhy Can't ILiz Phair2004-01-064.74.24.478
So Long, Farewell (An LOTR Curtain Call)So Long, FarewellThe Von Trapp Family Singers2004-01-074.64.74.6576
Lost For WordsLost in LoveAir Supply2004-01-144.04.04.098
The Fall of the StumblerThe Eye of the TigerSurvivor2004-01-145.05.05.061
We Wrote These EmailsWe Built This CityStarship2004-01-145.05.05.070
Cherish (My Anti Management Song)CherishMadonna2004-01-142.82.52.554
Worthless RingwraithsWonderwallOasis2004-01-154.54.74.766
Somebody Help Me (I Can't Reach the Highest Shelf)Don't Let Me Get MePink2004-01-195.05.05.091
Fall DownDowntownPetula Clark2004-01-215.05.05.055
Losing to the Cougars (Is So Crappy!)Sunshine on my Shoulders (Makes me Happy)John Denver2004-01-225.05.05.058
Bad ConjugationAnticipationCarly Simon2004-01-254.94.94.965
I Can't Write About Lord of the RingsStrong EnoughSheryl Crow2004-01-295.05.05.054
Lash Out at Me (The woes of Samwise Gamgee)Crash Into MeThe Dave Matthews Band2004-02-013.23.83.573
I Broke My BackI Want You BackNSYNC2004-03-233.43.43.470
Messaging (My Battle with Text Messaging)YesterdayThe Beatles2004-04-054.54.54.570
Wasting Time at WorkCracklin' RosieNeil Diamond2004-04-075.05.05.054
Don't Blame Me For That FartDon't Go Breakin' My HeartElton John & Kiki Dee2004-04-074.44.34.371
Somebody Stole My SweaterEven The Nights Are BetterAir Supply2004-04-154.24.34.2109
Don't Buy Me GlovesCan't Buy Me LoveThe Beatles2004-04-284.24.24.261
I'm Going to Get to You (Padfoot's song for Wormtail)From Me to YouThe Beatles2004-04-303.03.03.050
Waiting for The Prisoner of AzkabanLet it BeThe Beatles2004-04-304.94.94.954
A Hogwarts Fight SongOklahoma!The Cast of Oklahoma!2004-04-304.44.44.489
He's Loose From AzkabanI Want To Hold Your HandThe Beatles2004-05-155.04.94.969
Do You Really Think I'm Vain?Have You Ever Seen the RainCreedence Clearwater Revival2004-05-294.94.84.967
There's A StainPenny LaneThe Beatles2004-06-025.04.95.064
Mister LupinMr. PostmanThe Carpenters2004-06-025.05.05.058
I Just Need to Pout (The Bratty Girlfriend Song)We Can Work it OutThe Beatles2004-06-054.64.64.648
Hey Dude (I'm talking to YOU, Cuaron)Hey JudeThe Beatles2004-06-095.05.05.066
The Ballad of Sam & FrodoThe Ballad of John & YokoThe Beatles2004-06-095.04.95.068
I Hate When My Legs Look WhiteThe Way You Look TonightTony Bennett2004-06-095.05.05.0113
Here's to You, Kristof RobertsonMrs. RobinsonSimon & Garfunkel2004-06-154.44.44.471
That's Where Crickets Will HideTicket to RideThe Beatles2004-06-155.05.05.046
I'm On Fire & I'm in PainFire and RainJames Taylor2004-06-155.04.94.953
Arwen's Theme (When I Get Stuck Out With a Guy Who's Really Zitty)Arthur's Theme (When You Get Caught Between the Moon & New York City)Christopher Cross2004-06-225.05.05.051
She's Turned BlueShe Love's YouThe Beatles2004-06-245.05.05.047
Glancing's MeanDancing QueenAbba2004-06-285.04.95.071
Pull Your Pants Up, PleaseTake a Chance on MeABBA2004-07-014.74.64.62501
My Name is Arwen (If you love me, you'll read this)LukaSuzanne Vega2004-07-075.05.05.079
Got Caught Getting Net Friendly (Oh What a Fight)December 1963 (Oh What a Night)The Four Seasons (featuring Frankie Valli)2004-07-104.84.84.849
Hey, When I Wanna (My typical dating cycle)Lady MadonnaThe Beatles2004-07-145.05.05.064
A Residential FilmExperimental FilmThey Might Be Giants2004-07-154.24.44.761
I Need To Find a ManThe Leader of the BandDan Fogelberg2004-07-215.05.05.083
Writing's What I Love (my take on the whole voting fiasco)Friday I'm in LoveThe Cure2004-07-305.05.05.064
I've Broken A Bone NowI Think We're Alone NowTommy James and the Shondells2004-08-045.04.74.992
Smile (The Cheer Up Ashkicksass Song)Smile (The Charlie Chaplin Song)Traditional2004-08-185.04.94.949
I Only Love You For Your CarJust the Way You AreBilly Joel2004-08-235.05.05.062
We'll Make Fun of YouThree's Company (Theme Song)Jack & Chrissy & Janet??2004-08-274.74.74.751
Parody (Or, The Lack Thereof)YesterdayThe Beatles2004-09-074.95.04.949
Smooshed A Big SpiderPaperback WriterThe Beatles2004-09-275.05.05.0250
I Don't Like Being Stalked By YouI Only Want To Be With YouDusty Springfield2004-10-065.04.94.9218
I'm Not a FanThe CandymanSammy Davis Jr.2004-10-074.94.94.879
It's A PainPenny LaneThe Beatles2004-10-155.05.05.051
(You Make Me Feel Like) Punching You, Patrolman!(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural WomanCarole King2004-10-274.84.64.649
I'll BorrowTomorrowThe Cast of Annie2004-11-045.05.05.072
I'm So Clumsy--Ow!Who Can It Be NowMen At Work2004-11-054.95.05.054
I Saw His Body HairI Saw Her Standing ThereThe Beatles2004-11-164.84.44.5344
Visa's PreferredGrease (Is the Word)Frankie Valli2004-12-054.74.64.665
Tech Support FredLady in RedChris De Burgh2004-12-055.05.05.079
The Price is HighThe Tide is HighBlondie2004-12-075.05.05.050
Gotta Go!Let it SnowTraditional2004-12-074.95.04.981
Melanoma!Oklahoma!Rodgers and Hammerstein2004-12-074.94.64.756
I Hope You LaughI Hope You DanceLee Ann Womack2004-12-135.05.05.060
This Guy's So Gross To MeDon't Stand So Close To MeThe Police2004-12-225.05.05.059
(I Spent Just a) Bit More Than He'd PlannedWinter WonderlandTraditional2004-12-224.94.84.844
Could I Have a Tiny Little Kiss, Miss?Have Yourself a Merry Little ChristmasTraditional2004-12-235.04.84.875
A Gumball Broke My ToothThe Policy of TruthDepeche Mode2005-01-064.94.94.965
I'd Be Vin Diesel's Wife (among others)You Light Up My LifeDebbie Boone2005-01-204.14.44.1207
Say, Say, Say (HAPPY B-DAY ASHKICKSASS!)Say, Say, SayPaul McCartney & Michael Jackson2005-01-205.05.05.069
That's What Friends Are For (For Ashkicksass)That's What Friends Are ForDionne W, Elton J, Gladys K, & Stevie W2005-01-204.74.74.764
Shame!Fame!Irene Cara2005-02-234.84.84.884
Help, I Can't ReachPapa Don't PreachMadonna2005-02-254.84.84.957
Mister BloomIn My RoomThe Beach Boys2005-03-225.04.84.950
My Pants Are Too TightLet's Go Fly a KiteMary Poppins Soundtrack2005-03-284.84.74.7222
Working To Pay Back The ZooWorking My Way Back To YouFrankie Valli And the Four Seasons2005-04-015.04.94.970
Always Suspects Walking Behind MeAlways Something There To Remind MeNaked Eyes2005-04-054.64.54.562
It's Still Not Parole For MeIt's Still Rock and Roll To MeBilly Joel2005-04-074.95.05.061
When It's Time To Buy A Car...When You Wish Upon A StarDisney/Jiminy Cricket2005-04-085.04.94.960
You Really Hurt My FeelingsYou've Lost That Lovin' FeelingThe Righteous Brothers2005-04-114.64.34.5519
SpendingWindyThe Association2005-04-205.05.05.047
Will You Wear the Pants?Do You Wanna Dance?The Ramones2005-05-035.05.05.040
Divine Goddess of the Brave New WorldEverybody Wants to Rule the WorldTears For Fears2005-05-034.84.84.846
Get Off the BoatDon't Rock the BoatHues Corporation2005-05-164.95.05.054
AnacondaHelp Me, RhondaThe Beach Boys2005-05-175.04.94.963
It's My Part (He Went and Gave it to Dumb Sue)It's My PartyLesley Gore2005-05-194.94.94.946
Think I've Got a Crush on Harry PotterMrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely DaughterHerman's Hermits2005-05-204.64.64.660
Tell Her About It (things you shouldn't keep fromTell Her About ItBilly Joel2005-06-154.94.84.8131
Wrong Time RelieverDaydream BelieverThe Monkees2005-06-174.84.84.849
You Can't Be Boba FettYou Ain't Seen Nothin' YetBachman-Turner Overdrive2005-06-224.94.95.0261
Crazy Makin' PrinterHazy Shade of WinterSimon & Garfunkel2005-07-145.05.05.068
Everything I Know About You Is All WrongI'll Have To Say I Love You In A SongJim Croce2005-07-294.94.94.966
The Sounds Through My VentsThe Sound of SilenceSimon and Garfunkel2005-08-055.05.05.049
I Am UndeadI Am, I SaidNeil Diamond2005-08-155.05.05.065
Piano BanPiano ManBilly Joel2005-08-245.05.05.066
When I Shove HerAnd I Love HerThe Beatles2005-09-025.05.05.050
(I Might Be) Wrong This TimeThe Longest TimeBilly Joel2005-09-074.95.05.059
I Broke His NoseAnd So It GoesBilly Joel2005-09-084.64.64.664
Traits of the Guy Who Should Give Me a RingMy Favorite ThingsJulie Andrews/The Sound of Music2005-09-264.84.74.8216
Booty's UnreleasedBeauty and the BeastBeauty and the Beast Soundtrack2005-10-034.74.64.786
The GloveThe RoseBette Midler2005-10-064.74.74.756
What's the Most Wonderful Kind of Career?It's the Most Wonderful Time of the YearAndy Williams2005-10-074.74.74.764
Say, Where Did My Date Wayne Go?Somewhere Over the RainbowJudy Garland2005-10-125.05.05.067
I ComplainYou're So VainCarly Simon2005-10-144.44.54.460
Pete Cut in Line!Sweet CarolineNeil Diamond2005-10-214.74.44.652
Drip Dryin' TodaySlip Sliding AwayPaul Simon2005-10-215.04.94.948
One Bloke Oughta Be Fine (A Springer Show Anthem)One Toke Over the LineBrewer and Shipley2005-10-264.44.44.457
No Buddy Don't UnfetterNobody Does It BetterCarly Simon2005-11-084.74.74.744
Keep Avoiding YouKeep On Lovin' YouREO Speedwagon2005-11-164.64.64.6132
Don't Know Who I'll Invite (to the Company Party)The Way You Look TonightTony Bennett2005-11-295.05.05.052
I Caught Tommy Sniffing Hannah's BrasI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa ClausJimmy Boyd2005-12-015.05.05.077
(My Guy) Wants a Little Help With My FriendWith a Little Help From My FriendThe Beatles2006-02-035.05.05.062
ConceiveBelieveCher2006-02-134.95.05.072
Buy Me ShoesLove Me DoThe Beatles2006-02-274.94.84.963
Can't Find Me a GuyAmerican PieDon McLean2006-03-014.74.64.7272
Wish Joaq Were MineI Walk the LineJohnny Cash2006-03-114.64.64.649
A Throne Again, NaturallyAlone Again, NaturallyGilbert O'Sullivan2006-03-175.05.05.049
The Major-Gold Digger's SongThe Major-General's SongGilbert and Sullivan2006-03-204.95.05.0193
50 Days to Find a Lover50 Ways to Leave Your LoverPaul Simon2006-04-035.04.94.9125
My Fav'rite ColleaguesMy Favorite ThingsJulie Andrews2006-05-095.05.05.067
The X-Woman Wannabe's SongThe Major General's SongGilbert & Sullivan2006-06-125.05.05.0179
The Worst Day Ever (An Anti-Trampoline Song)Yellow SubmarineThe Beatles2006-07-125.05.05.077
Mike's WifeMy LifeBilly Joel2006-07-264.44.44.457
Louisiana (And the Purchase Thereof)CopacabanaBarry Manilow2006-07-275.05.05.084
The Writer We Know As Jeff ReubenThe Wreck of the Edmund FitzgeraldGordon Lightfoot2006-08-185.05.05.054
Red Rubber BraRed Rubber BallSimon and Garfunkel2006-08-215.05.05.0218
One Week (Straining To Write Something For SOTM)One WeekBarenaked Ladies2006-08-314.94.95.091
Love PretenderLove Me TenderElvis Presley2006-08-314.94.94.9137
She's In the LochI Wanna RockTwisted Sister2006-09-185.05.05.073
That Poison StrummerThe Boys of SummerDon Henley2006-09-205.05.05.091
Heaven Only KnowsUnderneath Your ClothesShakira2006-10-054.74.74.790
Workin' Girl BluesCocaine BluesJohnny Cash2006-10-165.05.05.055
Better Not Count On MeLove In The First DegreeAlabama2006-10-205.05.05.083
Head Banging Men!It's Raining Men!The Weather Girls2006-11-065.05.05.090
A Study Of The Mind Of A Single WomanShe's Always A WomanBilly Joel2006-11-205.05.05.064
Ever Since A Lion Ate My HandWinter WonderlandTraditional2006-12-045.05.05.057
It Ain't Chevy, It's Your BrotherHe Ain't Heavy, He's My BrotherThe Hollies2006-12-215.05.05.083
Told Me Without Any WarningOh What A Beautiful MorningRodgers and Hammerstein2007-01-045.05.05.057
Choked Aroma!Oklahoma!Rodgers and Hammerstein2007-01-045.05.05.0115
PateBad DayDaniel Powter2007-02-085.05.05.068
Gnomes AboundHomeward BoundSimon & Garfunkel2007-03-285.05.05.054
Spell Check WomanRedneck WomanGretchen Wilson2007-04-094.74.74.7123
Different BumDifferent DrumLinda Ronstadt2007-06-124.44.44.474
EyeshadowMoonshadowCat Stevens2007-06-125.05.05.0108
SpringfieldDowntownPetula Clark2007-07-185.05.05.0154
I Didn't Join the ChoirWe Didn't Start the FireBilly Joel2007-07-254.44.34.3267
We're Cleanin' NowPeroxide SwingMichael Buble2007-09-215.05.05.0142
Robot In DisguiseLost In Your EyesDebbie Gibson2007-10-165.05.05.0215
This New Part Of Mine (Can't Make It Through)This Old Heart Of Mine (Is Weak For You)The Isley Brothers2007-10-245.05.05.0133
I Play Guitar Hero All Nite, And Halo Every Day!Rock And Roll All NiteKISS2007-11-134.94.84.8543
On HalloweenCome On EileenSave Ferris2007-11-285.05.05.0140
Lumberjack FighterPaperback WriterThe Beatles2007-11-295.05.05.0111
What Compels Me Not To Bathe When I Should?I'm Into Something GoodHerman's Hermits2007-11-305.05.05.0114
SerenadePenny LaneThe Beatles2007-12-035.05.05.0122
I Hold Scissors When I Run (And Other Bad Habits)The House Of The Rising SunThe Animals2007-12-055.05.05.0205
Body HairSolitaireThe Carpenters2007-12-085.05.05.0132
Amazing Fashion ShowExperimental FilmThey Might Be Giants2007-12-225.05.05.0137
S.O.S. (Rescue Me--Crazy Dream Version)S.O.S. (Rescue Me)Rihanna2008-01-165.05.05.0228
Already BlondeAlready GoneThe Eagles2008-01-185.05.05.0122
Night VisionNight FeverThe Bee Gees2008-01-315.05.05.0155
The Search Is Over (My Science Project)The Search Is OverSurvivor2008-02-135.05.05.0186
Office Party/Conga LineSummer of 69Bryan Adams2008-06-114.84.94.9137
 
 
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