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Song Parodies -> "The Glove"

Original Song Title:

"The Rose"

Original Performer:

Bette Midler

Parody Song Title:

"The Glove"

Parody Written by:

Arwen

The Lyrics

This is almost a true story.
Lost my glove, began to shiver
Cold hand about to bleed
Would have warmed it with a laser
Had nothing for my need
Was more tense than Felix Unger
Af-ter eight hits of Speed
Frozen car--no leaving power
Until the ice was freed

Clearing frost, with my hand aching
The scraper broke, by chance
And I swore, manners forsaking
Held it out like a lance
Hit the windshield in frustration
It had far too much give
So the safe-ty glass was lying
Dead from my busted shiv

Screamed into the night, "If only
I'd had my glove all along
Wouldn't be here, cold and lonely
Shoulder socket's sit-ting wrong
Damn the frost that comes with winter!"
And right then, down in the snow
Looked and saw, it was my lost glove
Lying there, beneath my nose

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   13
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User Comments

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AFW - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Sounds like you need a better de-froster...but this was really cool...five scrapes
Kristof Robertson - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Serves you right for living in Wyoming and not, say....London. ;-) 555
alvin rhodes - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
ah yes, this is why i live in southern california...i've only heard rumors of these things known as "gloves" and "ice scrapers"...5s
Rick C - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
In New England, we know of these things. Nice irony here, Arwen..555
stuart mcarthur - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
gloves? like people in really freezing places wear? *shiver* - 555
PMS - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
High fives
Michael Pacholek - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I've heard of a five-finger discount, but this is ridiculous. Of course, ridiculous is the point! You win five free days in New Jersey -- where, to paraphrase Mark Twain, if you don't like the weather, wait a minute. Kristof: Yes, because, as we all know, London is known for having wonderful weather.
Red Ant - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Winter in Wyoming already? I can relate, I tend to "misplace" things often. Spent an hour night before last looking for my ID, it was in the seat cushion.
John Jenkins - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good parody with a clever Felix Unger line and ending.
Arwen - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
AFW...actually, I bought a new car this past spring, and haven't yet had to test it against the terrors of a frosty Wyoming morning...I'm hoping it will be tough, though...and, as the weather is getting colder and colder as each day passes...it's only going to be a matter of time...Thanks!

Kristof...right...if I moved to London, I'd have the joy of freezing my ass off on the wrong side of the road...; )...thank you!

Alvin...Hee! =) Thanks! Count yourself lucky, by the way...(thought I'll take the mountains over the ocean most of the time...=)...)

Rick...nice to know you can feel my pain...=) Thanks!

Stuart...um...I actually hate gloves. I hate coats, too. And since I hate being cold...I can't win no matter what I do. It's no wonder I'm such a grouch all winter long. Thanks for stopping by...

PMS...thanks very much!

Michael...hee! I've actually often thought that quote was very applicable to Wyoming's weather. It's not uncommon that I have to use my heater, my air conditioning, and then back to my heater...all in one day. Seriously. I did it today. But I will take you up on the free Jersey days. Let me know when to show up. I'm expecting everything to be on you.

Red Ant...not quite winter...but it's close. I had a skiff of the white stuff on my car yesterday morning...and I can only remember a handful of Halloweens around here when it wasn't blizzarding...=) Thanks a bunch!

John...I was unbelievably tickled to work Mr. Unger in there...thanks. But in reality...I couldn't think of any other words that actually rhyme with hunger...so I probably shouldn't be TOO proud of myself. Oh, but I am. Hee...=) Thanks!
Johnny D - October 07, 2005 - Report this comment
But it never snows in ... Rivendell. ;-)
Arwen - October 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny...=) You know I think you're right...but sadly, I've only got the timeshare in the summer...
Ashkicksass - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Freakin' winter. I can't believe how much I hate it. Fabulous job here, darling girl! I especially liked your use of the word "Forsaking."
Arwen - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Ash...the season is a nemesis with unmatched power. I HATE it. I hate being cold, I hate scraping frost, I had tramping snow around, I hate EVERYTHING about it. If it weren't for Christmas making it the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, I would totally break up with winter for good.

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