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Song Parodies -> "I Didn't Join the Choir"

Original Song Title:

"We Didn't Start the Fire"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"I Didn't Join the Choir"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

There were a million ways to avoid being in the High School Choir...and I found them...
U.S. Hist’ry, Chemistry, Lo-gic, Anatomy
First Year Spanish, Databases, Plant Biology

Cost Accounting, Public Speaking, Business Ethics, Film Critiquing
Free-hand Drafting, Basket Crafting, Radi-O-gra-phy

Written Law’s Contracts, Physics Lab, Income Tax
Yo-ga—gave it a try, Home Ec, made blueberry pie

Education, Fi-nance, Learned to Country Line Dance
Auto Body, Women’s Studies, Lifespan of the Fruit Fly

I didn't join the choir
'Cause the cheesy singing
Kept my ears a-ringing
I didn't join the choir
Many people asked me
But I always passed, see

Advertising, Algebra, Nursing and Mass Media
Scuba Diving, Stage Production, Surgical Tech

En-glish, Learn to Fish, Music Theory, Swe-dish
Po-go Dance Squad, almost broke my neck

World Lit, Burmese, Eight diff’rent Psychologies
Habits of the Mountain Man, Build a Perfect Poker Hand

First Aid, Nu-tri-tion, Basic Roping, Fic-tion
Keyboarding, Reporting, Using Proper Diction

I wouldn't join the choir
Not a bit appealing
Singing "with more feeling!"
I didn't joined the choir
Never fantasizing
About harmonizing

Ancient Greek Seminar, Advanced Japanese Guitar
Child Ma-tur-ity, Home-land Security

Management, Study Hall, Cheerleading and Baseball
La-tin Mythology, Dental Terminology

Merci Beaucoup Mon-sieur, Learned a lotta French words
Int’rest Group: Thor-eau, Joined the trav’ling Road Show

Bam-boo Carpentry, Crayola’s Art History
Social Theory E-val, Findings of Blaise Pas-cal

I didn't join the choir
Too much corny dancing
I'm opposed to prancing
I didn't join the choir
No I couldn’t take it
And refused to fake it

Programming Com-mands, Color Guard in the Band
Macro, Micro, Economics Psycho!

Gen-er-al Pathology, Per-i-o-dont-ology
Pro-blem Solv-ing, Ape to Man—Evolving

Neu-tral Bankers Swiss, Regression An-a-ly-sis
Cal-cu-lus, First Aid Plus: Clear Your Own Esophagus!

I didn't join the choir
Nat-u-ral Soprano
But I had to forgo
I didn’t like the choir
Their enthusiasm
Made my last nerve spasm

Drama Role: Singing Nun, Solos are a lot more fun
Jump shot, Weight squats, P.E., took A lot

“Legal Eagles,” Marketing, German In-ter-PRET-ing
Honor’s Tox-i-cology, Ep-i-dem-i-o-logy

Mental Disabilities, Crisis Couns’ling Strategies
Tourism, Taoism, Teach-ing Practicum

High Schools and Democracy, Safe Nu-cle-ar Energy
First and Second Wo-rld Wars, How to Tile Your Kitchen Floor

I never joined the choir
I was never tempted
By silence pre-empted
Just couldn’t join the choir
With my talents gone, they could still sing on and on and on…

(repeat to fade)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 36

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   1
 4   3
 5   28

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rex - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL! And if I might make a request, please upload a video of the pogo dancing.
Michael Pacholek - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Where's your fives, you inquire? Your talent's really burning, so the fives we're churning. The question is, Why didn't you want to join the HS choir? Is it because... you didn't want to get caught with a guy who's really zitty? (Yes, I remember your classics.)
stuart mcarthur - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
well, I joined the choir AND did all of those classes (except bamboo carpentry) so where was the problem?? I got a broad education plus the ability to hit a high C - life doesn't get much better than that...

no, bravo Arwen! this was magnificent - the detail was absolutely sublime - 555
alvin - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
nostalgically funny...i joined the choir in junior high to avoid taking a 'public speaking' class
Matthias - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow... If you took all of these classes you must have been in High School for most of your life. Didn't they kick you out eventually?
Agrimorfee - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
You've passed Creative Writing 504 with flying colors! Some of those lyrics were pretty stretchy over the OS rhythms.
Dylan Baranski - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
For a brief time in the beginning of 6th grade, I took chorus practice, until I figured out that it wasn't mandatory. Then I dropped out.
nally - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Very nicely written...5-5-5. I must say, I enjoyed every line of it, and I like to read parodies of this OS.
Arwen - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Rex...don't be silly! I make sure that there are never cameras around when I do something where I'm all but guaranteed to make a fool of myself. =) number one reason for not wanting to join the High School Choir was the amount of CHEESE involved in every song they sang. I shouldn't say every song. Choir songs were fine...but when they tried to Choir-ize the current top 40 always made me cringe.

Stuart...thanks...but you've always wondered why we get in so many fights...and now it's clear to me. If you'd taken some time to explore bamboo carpentry...we might be on more level ground more of the time. It changes a person...

Alvin...oooh...I'd take a speech over a song and dance routine to "You Give Love a Bad Name" any day! ; )

Matthias...yeah...after one too many re-takes of Japanese Guitar...they sent me on my merry way.


Dylan...good for you! Nice to know we're on the same team.

nally...I'm glad you liked it! Thanks!
I'm really shocked by the offense that some of our former Choir Nerds have taken to this...reminded you that you didn't have any friends in school, huh? And I'm not, in any way, saying that all the folks in High School Choir were nerds that didn't have any friends. I'm just saying that the type of people who drop anonymous triple 1s were nerds who didn't have any friends...and probably STILL have no friends. Sorry about that.
PMS - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
High fives
Arwen - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
PMS...thanks very much!
Cat - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Geez, Arwen, what idiot didn't give this fives?! By far one of your best, not only with brilliant lines (I was cracking up through it all, but "Homeland Security" really got me) but also with FLAWLESS pacing--which I can confirm since I know WDSTF like the back of my hand--and that is not an easy task. Bravo, Arwen!
Ann Hammond - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Once I had a chance in seventh grade to sing as my elective it so I did. In lower grades I didn't want to sing kid songs.
5-1-2 was my vote - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
It's nothing personal Arwen because I've loved alot of your songs, but as flawless as the pacing was, I just didn't find it funny. I'm sorry, just how I saw it. - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't have a sense of humor either, so I also voted 5-1-2. Just kidding. I may be a dork, but I'm not THAT much of a dork.

Beautiful. I can only imagine how long it took to compile your list and fit it to the meter and rhyme scheme. And it would be fun to see the subjects that got scratched from the final version.

Oh, and will you please tell Cat I wrote this? That would save me from actually doing one myself.
stuart mcarthur - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
what!! why do I always have to be the one to change!! - why can't YOU un-learn everything you know about bamboo carpentry and we get to level ground THAT way for once - ooh we are SO in a fight now >:-(
Arwen - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Cat...thanks very much for you VERY kind words. I'm glad you liked it. I'd like to know, too, who gave the low votes...but alas...I was wait-listed for Psychic Theory 101, and never got in. ; )

Ann...=) I hope your choir experience was better than mine would have been...if I'd ever um...had it. ; )

5-1-2...I'm glad you have liked other parodies of mine. Phew. And don't you worry...I never take anonymous votes personally. As a matter of fact, I never take anonymous votes into consideration. At all. Tell me who you are...and then I'll be interested in your opinion.

Spaff...Hee hee. Thanks. This one...I'm thinking was at least three months in the making...I can't remember exactly when the idea was born...but took a while. I had to leave it and come back to it several times. You're right, too, that there were plenty of subjects that didn't make the cut...I was kind of sad. As for your final request, I guess I can do that...considering I've been telling Cat that I wrote most of YOUR parodies for quite some time...I'll pull an old switcheroo on her...=)

Stuart...because I'm always right and you're always wrong. The end.
JP - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Okay, I'm the one that gave 5-1-2. I can't speak for the person that gave you 1's, but since I gave an unusual vote, I thought I should at least tell the writer my reason for it. I thought it was okay and can see why some people would think it's funny, but me personally, I didn't get any laughs from it. Again, I'm not trying to disrespect you, I couldn't write as well as you do, and I admit that freely. No hard feelings?
bobpiecheese - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Same as Cat said, what Grade-A Goober gave this ones?!?! Best. parody. by. Arwen. EVER.
Arwen - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
JP...thanks for your honesty. I don't harbor any hard feelings at all...there are several parodies around the site that are well written that don't make me laugh...I understand where you're coming from.

BPC...Thanks. A. TON! =)
Agrimorfee - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
JP is entitled to his opinion...I generally don't like "list" songs, either. Sauce for the goose is something else to the gander, or whatever that cliche is.
stuart mcarthur - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
call that an end...that aint an end...this is an end
Arwen - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Agri...I agree...nobody ever said he wasn't entitled to it. My only complaint was that it was left, initially, anonymously...which, to the lamest of the lame. I'm not sure who your comment is directed toward, I guess.

Stuart... ... ... ... ...
stuart mcarthur - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
BT - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
As a former member of my high school's chorus AND jazz choir, I have to admit to being somewhat offended by this seemingly harmless swipe at one of America's most beloved traditions. Despite the commendable pacing and inventive humor, I am disappointed by the implied mockery of those young people who choose to participate in the wholesome celebration of song as a welcome alternative to more destructive teenage temptations like necking, athletics, internet porn and keg parties. In the future, I hope that you apply your considerable talents to more positive messages. - Yours truly, Bas Terrd.
Arwen - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment're a total nerd. I mock and forever.

Hugs and kisses...

Kirty - October 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Arwen - Help! I heard 'Pull Your Pants Up Please' today - one of my professors played it in class. It was hilarious!!! I've been telling everyone about it but can seem to locate it online anywhere... How can I get a copy???
Arwen - October 25, 2007 - Report this comment

Um...seriously? You heard MY "Pull Your Pants Up Please" in class? Which class? I'm interested to know which subject called for that type of song to be played. I'm also interested to know where the recording came from...because I never recorded it. I want to hear it! Where do you go to school? Who is your professor? Seriously...I just want to know where he/she got it...and how they found it...all that. If you want to email me at, I'd be VERY interested to talk to you.

Thanks! =)
Porfle Popnecker - September 14, 2011 - Report this comment
This is awesome.
Agrimorfee - September 23, 2011 - Report this comment
Revisiting this due to Ages...who knew the topic would have a relevant resurgence in this Gleeky time of entertainment?! :) Still a good 'un.
Andria - September 23, 2011 - Report this comment
(Ages) Awesome parody of another tough OS, well-done as always, and I didn't join the choir either. 5s.
We Have To Fight The Fire Even If We Didn't Light It - September 23, 2011 - Report this comment
I always thought that Choir class was an easy credit "skating" loaf-off class. Usually you'd hear the class singing * piano plink * "ohhhhhh-hhhh", * plink * "ohhhhhh..." or "lah-lah-lah-lah lah-lah-lah-lah" * plink * "lah-lah-lah-lah lah-lah-lah-lah" * plink * ... or obscure folky songs from the pioneer days or turgid chorus versions of shmaltzy "adult contemporary" pop songs - I said POP, not rock. There's better ways to earn a credit. You earn 555 credits for this. Excellent job!
Christie Marie M - September 23, 2011 - Report this comment
(Ages 2) I was impressed the way you fitted your lyrics to the OS. Boy, this was a hard song to emulate, but you sure pulled it off very well!! Seems like you earned a 4 year degree for parody writing!! LOL!! All the classes you listed reminded me of college and how hard a time I was having in those classes. Maybe I should go back to school again...I kinda miss it. Scored a GPA of 5.55 with this one...and you just made the Dean's List!!
Abbott Skelding - September 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Great great great job!! Perfect pacing and love the varying classes that I would also take to not take choir! Great job!
Jeff Reuben - October 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Old school! so how have I never commented? I remember the entire conversation about the Pull Your Pants Up Please recording. Anyway, great song, loved to read it again.
Blaydeman - October 19, 2011 - Report this comment
(AofA) Absolutely amazing! One of the best parodies I have ever read!
D-Mon - October 19, 2011 - Report this comment
(AofA) I didn't even know that so many classes existed. Great job, so good!
bobpiecheese - October 20, 2011 - Report this comment
(Ages) Holy crap, I read this one? Don't remember that. Then again, I can barely recall what happened last week, let alone four years ago. I stand by my sentiment that whoever didn't vote this straight fives is a complete and utter tosspot. Still a brilliant parody after all this time, that deserves another round of 5's, methinks!
Arwen - October 20, 2011 - Report this comment
To all my AGES voters and commenters, thank you! I was excited to be able to bring this one back when I saw the time period/subject for this round. Glad you all liked it...again. :)
Chris - September 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Who the HELL gave you 1's??? This was awesome!

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