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Song Parodies -> "Don't Buy Me Gloves"

Original Song Title:

"Can't Buy Me Love"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Buy Me Gloves"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Pretty self's practically summer!!
Don't buy me gloves
Don't buy me gloves

I got me a gift from my boyfriend
'Cause we got in a big fight
It's not too often gifts he'll send
Must've known that I was right
But I could not say, "Thank you, honey!"
I saw that he bought me gloves

They were from Wal-Mart's discount cart
Saw them just the other day
At Christmas it might have been smart
But we're just a week from May
Don't mean to be picky, Honey
Honey, don't buy me gloves

Don't buy me gloves
It's the thought that counts I know
Don't buy me gloves
No no no no

You don't need to buy me fancy things
To make me love you so
But I'd rather not receive in Spring
Some winter clothes, you know
I don't want you spendin' money
If you're gonna buy me gloves


Why these gloves?
Were you thinking? I don't know
Don't buy me gloves
No no no no

Flowers would be alright with me
A night on the town
Save the mittens for the times when we
See snowfall coming down
Don't think I'm ungrateful, Honey
But I don't want these gloves

Why these gloves?
Why these gloves?

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Guess guys don't know what a somewhat proper gift is, huh? Good job! 5's
Phil Alexander - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Guess he think's that - you're his mummy
Mummy will buy him gloves

...or something like that :-)
Arwen - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks've pretty much nailed that one on the head!!
Arwen - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
And Phil...I'm not sure that he was thinking at all...=)...but I appreciate your vote none the less! Thanks!!!
Meriadoc - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
But if they were white gloves you could wear them before Labor Day, right? ;-)
Arwen - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
If they WERE...but unfortunately they are like padded gray ones...with a velcro clasp...which, according to MY fashion rules, are never acceptable!
Serafina - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I voted on this one about an hour ago, but after I placed my vote, my computer began to freeze, so I'm not sure if it went through or not. Then I was going to write a comment, but I couldn't do that because the screen was frozen. Now that my computer's back to normal, I can tell you that this was a great parody and that you did a fine job with it. My vote, by the way, is 5-5-5.
Arwen - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Serafina!
Paul Robinson - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen, hadn't even looked at the entry list for today. I just got through doing the SOTM voting for March and I came over to see the comments. Really good job, 5's. Hmmm...Walmart's discount cart --this is, how you say -- Tacky... Now even I could do better than that (actually, you wouldn't have expected anything because I don't automatically give gifts for "designated occasions" and I usually kind of let that be known before any occur. I don't expect any, either. I prefer to give gifts when they are NOT expected, just because I feel like giving. I get a lot more satisfaction out of that and the recipient's usually enjoy the surprise and gift more than they might have on, say, Christmas morning. But I would have probably written you something - just what would depend on where we were at in the relationship. Maybe something poking a little good-natured fun and then perhaps a small, but tasteful little gift based on whatever I knew about your preferences, if I could find something I thought you would appreciate. Of course in my 20's there's no telling what I might I done or thought). But, anyway, he if doesn't get it, he won't understand your reaction, either.
Arwen - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul...and this was a surprise was an "I'm sorry" gift which is unprecedented...(he's really not a gift giver at all) it was a nice surprise. As for the nature of the present...the stupid gloves...there is a story behind them...and it's a longer story than I'll tell it was funny...which he meant it to be...but I had to write the song to give him a hard time...because that is just how we work. He does stupid things that he knows are stupid...and I make fun of him. Isn't that what true love is all about, anyway?? =) Thanks again for the comment...a lady would be truly lucky to receive any gift you'd have in store for her, I'm sure!
Paul Robinson - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen - Ah, well it looks like I qualified for the "Finals" in the "Conclusion Jump" here. Well, I'm glad you & the beau have an understanding because that's really pretty much what it's all about, you know.
Johnny D - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Wouldn't it be gloverly! 5's
Arwen - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul...I jump to conclusions more often than anyone...and I'd willingly challenge you to a duel in said event! I know I would whup ya! And thanks, Johnny...for dropping in! =)
Leo Jay - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Glove it!
Kat - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Poor guy!
Arwen - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Leo...I hate when I come to old parodies and realize that I've been slacking my thank yous...but you know I appreciate it, right? Or is that why you didn't speak to me all day the 28th of December??? Arwen. That is the moral of almost everything I write. Poor Arwen. =)
yourturd - May 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I want a remark Arwen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so will my wife as to your floozie ways. Oh and by the way I will make sure she knows everything and every body else. Enjoy your life
LilGloveCakes - May 03, 2010 - Report this comment
LadyA, I adore glov v ves, especially the Opera Length-type . . . . smooth Leather, all the way to the elbows ! ! That's my style .

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