This past week-end
Met with a friend
Who lost his love
Due to his hair-i-ness

His heart she'd crush
Be-cause a brush
Could not have tamed
His wil-DER-er-er-ness

His body hair is causing him to frown
He begs "Please rip it out," tears falling down
'Cause far enough his arms just won't extend
I smile and I pretend...

That hairy backs don't cause my gut to churn
I'll be his friend, and a new skill set learn
I'd rather wrestle with a grizzly bear
Than yank his body hair

"Try to re-lax
Hot boi-ling wax
Will grip the hair
Pores are supplying"

I'd count to three
Then pull quickly
He couldn't stand
Pain had him crying

His body hair screams could be heard downtown
Did ev'rything I could to calm him down
And though he felt pain to the ninth degree
His back is now hair-free

Someday he'll be read-y to play the field
After the bloody patches have congealed
He'll wow the girls from here, there, everywhere
Without his body hair

My body waxing skills are now renown
Where smoothish skin resides, there I'll be found
I'll pull your mane out, too, if you don't care
To keep your body hair