Not so long ago
I can still remember
How that elf used to make me smile
And I liked the way he held his bow
Orlando's his alter-ego
I thought he'd make me happy for a while
But February made me wonder
A lie he might be hiding under
Bad news on the internet
I thought that we were all set
His gay friend Andre's interview
Delivered the most disturbing news
I can't believe this could be true
But here's the scoop for you

My, my, I think my elf crush is Bi
Andre says he's a good kisser
Now I ask myself why
Should I believe what he says
Or should I just let it fly?
He's hot so yeah I think I'll give it a try
I really like him so I'll give it a try

But then I got curious
Couldn't let it rest, had to look it up
Just to set the record straight
Now, can you believe it, could it be?
Gay porn in his filmography
I can't believe that this is news to me
Well it's not like I'm in love with him
But I've even considered moving on from Vin
Now rest assured, he likes girls, too
So tell me, what am I supposed to do?
I gave up Vin Diesel to explore this guy
When his elven archer went and caught my eye
But I'll be true to Vin until the day I die
I'm sure, he's my only guy

My, my, I think my Elf crush is Bi
He won't confirm it or deny it
So I'll just say goodbye
Though I still think he's hot
I cannot let Gay Porn slide
So his chances with this girl have just died
Yes, his chances with me have just died