Look at my creation
See what I have done
After much frustration
The Science Fair I've won
Please take back your preachin'
You're wrong in what YOU'VE DIS-cerned
This first place ribbon
Was fair and squarely earned

Ev'ry girl has had THE dream
Of that special mo-ment
She'll meet Mis-TER Right
He'll fill her with joy
After ten or fifty guys
Will she wait forever?
The search is over
Come and meet the perfect boy!

Taking notes on genomes
Reading through the night
Af-TER some gross mu-ta-tions
I thought I got it right
The perfect combination
Of most desir-ed traits
My re-ci-pe was tested through
A stream of "perfect" dates

Gave him all of Vin's MUS-cles
And Orlando's swagger
Johnny Depp's mo-JO
What more could he gain?
He had Wentworth Miller's eyes
I could love him never
Had to start over
I forgot to add a brain

Many NIGHTS stretched out behind me
At the drawing board
Even ASKED Gene Wilder for some help
Then good LUCK
It finally STRUCK
I found the perfect brew
Gen-e-tic milkshake
Look what it grew in-to

Now as you behold him
You wonder, "What's the deal?
This guy looks almost normal
His abs aren't made of steel!"
But on my path I realized
The best things are not AL-WAYS SEEN
He's got inside him
The most important genes

Gave him all of Jeff's HU-mor
Dave's and Bob-P's vision
He's got Phil's AC-cent
Both the Aussies' style
Jack's and Matty's CHARM
Threw in Agri's brain pow'r
THE SEARCH IS OVER!
I have built the Per-fect Guy!