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Song Parodies -> "The Writer We Know As Jeff Reuben"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Writer We Know As Jeff Reuben"

Parody Written by:

Arwen

The Lyrics

I was assigned Jeff in a little "Tribute Contest" that's being run over on the messageboards, but this parody is long overdue! Jeff is seriously one of my favorite people ever...and I should have written something for him a long time ago. This parody is filled with references to his parodies, a couple of inside jokes that only a few select folks might get, and several bits of information that I've collected over the past couple of years that we've known each other. So now, without further gabbing...HERE'S TO JEFF REUBEN!
A legend was born in a Maryland-ish town
T'was a guy that we know as Jeff Reuben
We first became friends in 0-4--summer's end
And I learned that he's Jewish, not Cuban

The first time that I really noticed this guy
Read a song that was singing the praises
A girlfriend who's great, though she cannot see straight
Never sure where her wandering gaze is

It wasn't too long, online friendship grew strong
As we bonded on THE thread that mattered
Oh, with Ash and Le-O, we would make fun of most
And the rules of et-i-quette were shattered

When people said we acted too exclusively
And we didn't make others feel welcome
I took it to heart, oh but Jeff did his part
When he wrote how we're "Clique"-ish and then some

There's no doubt the man is a big Star Wars fan
Sure he'd like to have his own "Landspeeder"
As a Jedi, not bad--but he's better as "Dad"
When the baby cries, he's gonna feed 'er

Now don't think that Jeff has no time for fun left
'Cause he's glad to squeeze in Fighting Bar Maids
And at carnival time, he'll always be in line
And he's been Whacking Moles since the third grade

Well some of you might see ol' Jeff as a threat
But don't let his a-va-tar mislead ya
At first it seems rude, but if you're not a prude
You'll see "You Suck" just means "Good to meet ya!"

His works are so great, every one is top rate
And to rank them would end in a standstill
But if I had to choose, many others would lose
To the girl falling down on the treadmill

You've got a flat chest? I'd say Jeff knows what's best
How to keep your man's mind off vacation
Just grab him a beer, and say "Hey, looky here!"
Then show off your "Boob Operation!"

Football is his thing, yeah his bell it does ring
For the season he's anxiously waiting
While lesser fans thrive on the next ten yard drive
Here's the truth: Jeff's real love is TAILGATING!

Always want more of what Jeff's got in store
Entertaining? His e-ffect is instant
In more recent scores, walking dogs was his chore
And he said he looks like an El-e-phant!

There's no task too big, he'll succeed at each gig
For him there is no O-S that's too hard
In song and in life, he's a stud—ask his wife!
And he looks great in his pink le-O-tard!

Don't think I'd take joy in pursuing this boy
You would know it's not true if you knew me
He's a hell of a man, a true "Terrapin Fan"
But he's just "More Like a Brother To Me!"

His legend lives on, he's still writing great songs
And I'll end this now, 'fore I start boobin'
But for once I won't jest, he is one of the best
Give me three cheers for my pal, Jeff Reuben!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
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 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   17
 17
 17
 

User Comments

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Rick C - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
I stand aside and bow low as the Elf Princess passes, delivering her "Ode to Jeff"!

Excellent! I especially liked these lines:

A legend was born in a Maryland-ish town
T'was a guy that we know as Jeff Reuben
We first became friends in 0-4--summer's end
And I learned that he's Jewish, not Cuban

The first time that I really noticed this guy
Read a song that was singing the praises
A girlfriend who's great, though she cannot see straight
Never sure where her wandering gaze is

It wasn't too long, online friendship grew strong
As we bonded on THE thread that mattered
Oh, with Ash and Le-O, we would make fun of most
And the rules of et-i-quette were shattered

When people said we acted too exclusively
And we didn't make others feel welcome
I took it to heart, oh but Jeff did his part
When he wrote how we're "Clique"-ish and then some

There's no doubt the man is a big Star Wars fan
Sure he'd like to have his own "Landspeeder"
As a Jedi, not bad--but he's better as "Dad"
When the baby cries, he's gonna feed 'er

Now don't think that Jeff has no time for fun left
'Cause he's glad to squeeze in Fighting Bar Maids
And at carnival time, he'll always be in line
And he's been Whacking Moles since the third grade

Well some of you might see ol' Jeff as a threat
But don't let his a-va-tar mislead ya
At first it seems rude, but if you're not a prude
You'll see "You Suck" just means "Good to meet ya!"

His works are so great, every one is top rate
And to rank them would end in a standstill
But if I had to choose, many others would lose
To the girl falling down on the treadmill

You've got a flat chest? I'd say Jeff knows what's best
How to keep your man's mind off vacation
Just grab him a beer, and say "Hey, looky here!"
Then show off your "Boob Operation!"

Football is his thing, yeah his bell it does ring
For the season he's anxiously waiting
While lesser fans thrive on the next ten yard drive
Here's the truth: Jeff's real love is TAILGATING!

Always want more of what Jeff's got in store
Entertaining? His e-ffect is instant
In more recent scores, walking dogs was his chore
And he said he looks like an El-e-phant!

There's no task too big, he'll succeed at each gig
For him there is no O-S that's too hard
In song and in life, he's a studâ€"ask his wife!
And he looks great in his pink le-O-tard!

Don't think I'd take joy in pursuing this boy
You would know it's not true if you knew me
He's a hell of a man, a true "Terrapin Fan"
But he's just "More Like a Brother To Me!"

His legend lives on, he's still writing great songs
And I'll end this now, 'fore I start boobin'
But for once I won't jest, he is one of the best
Give me three cheers for my pal, Jeff Reuben!
:-)
Le-O Jay - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent work!
alvin rhodes - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
nice tribute
Agrimorfee - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
You certainly took a shine on that crazy diamond! 555
PMS - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
WOW!
Jeff Reuben - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, this was incredible! It's pretty amazing how well we've gotten to know each other over the last two years. It's a good thing I'm married, otherwise the "More like a brother to me" line would have put me into months of depression along with your other castoffs (Vin, Kenny, Tim, Leo). Great job, and thanks!
AFW - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
A comical and classic tribute
Meriadoc - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice job! :-)
Matthias - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
I agree with Rick C 100%
Cat - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Stellar, stellar job, Arwen! All of the facts about Jeff worked beautifully in this, not to mention that now you've done all of the Big Three!
Stuart McArthur - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
What! Jeff's not Cuban? hmm, it must have been that pink leotard that fooled me - LOL - great loving tribute, Arwen, although the first thing I think of when I think of Jeff, oddly, is beer (even when I think of him normally in fact) - 555
TJC - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
I second PMS!
Arwen - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Rick...thanks very much! Interestingly enough, you've picked my favorite bits, too! =)

Leo...thanks for dropping by! So many of these memories were made with you, too...I still have TOTTM withdrawals you know. =)

Alvin...thanks!

Agri...he IS a little crazy, you have that much right. ; ) Thanks!

PMS...well all I can do is blush. Thanks!

Jeff...Hooray! I'm so glad that you liked it! I mean really, what's not to like, right? Such fabulous subject matter, the thing pretty much wrote itself. ; ) Thanks...and you're welcome.

AFW...thank you!

Merry...thanks!

Matthias...when in doubt, agreeing with Rick is always a good thing to do. Excellent choice. =) Thanks!

Cat...thanks a million, I appreciate it. But I'd like to say, for the record, that the rumor about me doing all of the "Big Three" is exactly that: a rumor. A rumor which was, I suspect, started and spread by one (or perhaps all) of the "Big Three." Bastards. ; ) Thanks.

Stuart...thanks! And I know, the Cuban thing was a shock to me, as well...but, get used to it. And stop calling him Fidel, I'm pretty sure he hates it..

TJC...well, here's some blushing for you then, as well. Thanks!

Kristof Robertson - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant, brilliant tribute to the Reubenator, sweetie...but then again, you ALWAYS give good tribute. Some crazy rhyming...too hard with le-o-tard= wha?...which made the whole thing more enjoyable.

And as for the Cuban thing; we ALL know Jeff's Norwegian (real name, Erik Bjorn Reubensson) but we don't like to spread it around...Jeff's a bit embarrassed about his time in A-Ha....:-) 555
Michael Pacholek - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, it wouldn't be an official "Wreck" parody if I didn't at least comment. As far as I know, this is the first time a feminine attempt has been made at one. Jeff is a classic, and would be if "A Bar Maid Fight" was all he'd ever done. I shouldn't be surprised that you were up to the challenge, Lady A. For doing "The Wreck" and tributizing Jeff, you should get double-credit. Alas, this the system does not allow. But you can see where we all stand. It is ONLY in height that we are above you!
Red Ant - August 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh wow, now THIS took some time and effort. Great tribute from great writer to another. And lol on Rick's comment.
Arwen - August 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Kristof...well, thanks very much! That means a lot, coming from one of the few folks who can boast that I HAVE written them a tribute. =) And LOL on Jeff's real heritage...=)

Michael...yes, I thought you'd get a kick out of my first attempt at this OS...it wasn't so bad. I really needed something long to work in all of Jeff's wonderfulness...so it suited my needs well. And thanks for reminding me how short I am...I almost forgot. ; )

Red Ant...thank you very much! I was so worried that I'd fail to do Jeff justice...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pleased with how this turned out. =)
Aisling - August 20, 2006 - Report this comment
You are hysterical. You inspired me to start adding parodies to this page. I was thrilled when I saw your comment on my first submission. You crack me up!
Ashkicksass - August 20, 2006 - Report this comment
A fantastic tribute to a fantastic guy!
Arwen - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Aisling...thanks a ton! I like nothing more than being inspiring...so that's the ultimate compliment! =)

Ash...thanks...of course you would know, wouldn't you?
Serafina - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow...looks like I missed this. I think it's a great tribute, too...and I'm pretty sure I've commented on a few of Jeff's parodies. Anyway I will award this one with a perfect 5-5-5... keep up the good work, both of you! =)
Ferragamo - August 22, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS but I'm gonna vote 5-5-5 anyway because it's a nice tribute, like the above two commentators said.
Arwen - August 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Serafina...thanks very much! Jeff deserves this one...and I'm sure you HAVE enjoyed his work if you've read it.

Ferragamo...well, thanks...I appreciate it!
bobpiecheese - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
There are many things that are amazing in this universe. People who make a big fuss over whether Coke is better than Pepsi, for example. The fact that when I think of Jeff, I immediately think of his avatar. Another one, one that towers over all the other amazing things, is this parody. But that's so obvious I don't know why I said it. Everybody else already has ;). Well done, Arwen.
Arwen - September 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Aww Bob(pc)...thanks very much...I really appreciate it!!

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