My new love love’s
Not AL-ways kind
Sometimes I find, find
He’s rather LU-pine
And since we wed

My new furry love’s
BED-side manners aren’t great
“Scratch my back, but go easy!”
Chunks of flesh he’ll often take

My new furry love’s
HUN-ger will not abate
And so it CUTS down “our time”
No moonlit strolls CAN we take

And how many victims
Must he land
Before he has the time
With chores to give a hand?
Sometimes the ON-ly thing
That seems a pro, not con
Super-human strength
When lids ARE stuck on
But he won’t help make the bed

(New furry love)
NEV-er takes me on dates
And his hair makes me sneezy
How I wish the leaves he’d rake

How long must I wait?
WISH the gar-bage he’d take
‘Stead of causing dis-tress
Made my friend Bart
TAR-tar steak

Oh it’s not fair; I clean the house alone
While he’s out chasing through the village
The work postponed
And when he makes it in
From NIGHTS on the town
His bloodstained pants
Always make me frown
And the couch becomes his bed

(New furry love’s)
IN the doghouse of late
Be-cause I think it’s sleazy
Licks his chops at neighbor Kate

My new furry love’s
AL-most too much to take
Prefer ORRR-ganized crime
O-ver “death breath” WHEN he wakes

For Pete’s Sake!

This love, love’s
Far from easy
He’s biting and scratching
‘Stead of roof patching
Would be MY choice
To wax his back at night
To in-crease his charm
Should stand up-RIGHT

Heaving willing
He’ll give up killing
‘Cause it ain’t easy
It ain’t easy
He wants me dead!

My new furry love
NEV-er washes his plate
He licks it CLEAN ev’ry time
Then hits the wall ‘TIL it breaks

My new furry love
IN full moon gets irate
And it makes me uneasy
Is this marriage a mistake?

(fade)