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Song Parodies -> "Piano Ban"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Piano Ban"

Parody Written by:

Arwen

The Lyrics

I'm not sure how I feel about this one...but I had this nightmare that music was outlawed...and this was on my head within minutes of waking up...
I've been in shock since the other day
A new set of laws voted in
And you know they don't make sense to me
But I guess I'll lose my violin

They made music of all kinds a felony
The logic no one really knows
If they hear but a tweet or see tappin' of feet
We'll be wearing prisoner's clothes

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Can't play a song, there's a piano ban
Music is wrong tonight
Someone heard a rogue flute down on Harmony
But my alibi is airtight

Now down at the bar was a friend of mine
Had a gui-tar on his knee
He'd sometimes tell a joke, sang of water and smoke
But now he's doing ten to twenty

He said, "Sir, you have got to be kidding me"
But the judge had no smile on his face
And his lawyer can't take his appeal too far
She got caught playing a string bass

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Oh, Paul was a pro concert organist
Who's now doing fifty to life
And they locked up poor Pele and his ukulele
And Sally's done playing her fife

And our band teacher's moved on to politics
Gonna get this business overthrown
'Cause the one thing he love's lost in an abyss
Though he won't surrender his trombone

Can't play a song, there's a piano ban
Music is wrong tonight
Someone heard a rogue flute down on Harmony
So is your alibi airtight?

I can feel a repeal coming any day
And hum under my breath for a while
But the Sheriff heard me; I've no choice but to flee
'Cause I won't make it on the Green Mile

And my hideout is inside a carnival
That's been silent for damn near a year
And the bumper cars are run by an old rock star
Who can't get work anywhere but here

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Can't play a song, there's a piano ban
Music is wrong tonight
Someone heard a rogue flute down on Harmony
Hope your alibi is airtight

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   29
 29
 29
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow........scary concept, great parody.
Adam Eccleshall - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(puts on serious Judge's voice) Miss Evenstar.. you are hereby found guilty of setting words to music with intent to cause injury by laughter. Given the seriousness of the charge, and the intensity of the damage caused, I am obliged to hand down the maximum tariff of 555 years hard pouting.
Johnny D - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
More brilliant cleverness from our resident Elven Genius!
alvin rhodes - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
what a scary scenario...well paced and thought provoking..5s plus
Paul Robinson - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, Arwen - if they outlawed regular songs just think how much time you would get for doing PARODIES!!! 99 years in the Electric Chair, probably...3 choruses of paranoid 5's for you here ~ ~ ~
Steve K. - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
There is a place where your nightmare is true. In Iran, music is illegal.
Scathe - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Very nicely done.
Serafina - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I think it's very well put together. :)
Dominic L. - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I dunno, it's kinda depressing.... OK, I'll give you a five on the funny.
John Jenkins - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Arwen, stop eating anchovy pizzas before going to bed and you won't have these nightmares. But, very well done with good last lines on all of your verses.
Arwen - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Red Ant...well I agree...why do you think I called it a nightmare? =) Thanks!

Adam...hee! Excellent comment...I'll do my time happily...=) Thank you!

Johnny...awww...thanks!

alvin...man...the last thing I meant to do was to provoke any thoughts...I hate it when it accidentally happens to me, anyway...; ) Thanks a bunch!

Paul...I shudder to think of what my sentence would be...=) Thank you!

Steve...which, coincidentally, is the only reason that I turned down that big promotion to our Iranian Branch...; )

Scathe...thank you very much!

Serafina...thanks, I really appreciate it!

Dominic...it is SO not depressing...; ) But thanks for liking it anyway...=)

John...I can honestly say that I have never had an anchovy pizza...before bed or otherwise. Were they food related, I have to blame my psychotic dreams on excessive consumption of Rice Krispie Treats...; ) Thanks a ton...=)
Larry Hensley - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Now, if they'd only ban annoying music. Good one. 555
leo jay - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, what a cool concept! And very clever re-working of many of the original lines ("down at the bar was a friend of mine"). Poutstanding!
Michael Pacholek - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Uh-oh, Arwen's doing a Billy Joel classic... I take BJ parodies very seriously, so I'm bracing for it to be subpar... brace was unnecessary. This was so good, it makes me wanna sing! (And if you've ever heard me sing, you'd want THAT outlawed.) My Dark Angel has come through with her own twisted dystopia. And doesn't "abyss" sound like the name of an instrument? Five Hallelujah Choruses. John J: Arwen does not eat anchovy pizza before going to bed. I can vouch for that.
Arwen - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Larry...well, wouldn't THAT be a dream come true...but then, who's honor would HilaryLuvr defend?

Leo...thanks, buddy. Like I said at the top...I submitted this one with mixed emotions...couldn't put my finger on why...but I think it is just because it's a bit darker than I'm used to writing. You know that I value your approval...=) Oh, and "Poutstanding" made me grin...=)

Michael, sweet Michael...you don't know how much "My Dark Angel" made my whole day...=) I've been having a fairly crappy afternoon...but I'm always cheered by a new endearing nickname...=) I'm a little disconcerted with your pre-reading doubt in me...but I'll forgive you...just because you're such a darling. Oh, and thanks, too, for clearing that up with John...I appreciate it...mmmwah!
Tim Mayfield - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I figured I'd come over to see what all the noise was about... I must say the best line by at least 25% - 35% would be 'poor Pele and his ukulele' Use a strum, go to jail! 5's
Arwen - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
And the big prize goes to Tim for picking out my favorite line!! =) I was most proud of that one...thanks!
Stuart McArthur - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
ha! the concept is not unlike Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451" - and the solution would be the same with everyone having to commit one song to memory
nice use of the OS's key words, twisted to fit, Arwen - and noone should EVER have to surrender their trombone (the mere thought of it...) - 555
Arwen - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart...I've actually read that Bradbury piece, and hadn't made a connection....but I can totally see it now...thanks for reminding me...=) And thanks for agreeing on the trombone issue...I mean, talk about cruel and unusual punishment...
Jeff Reuben - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
When you sing "piano ban" is it a little off key? (yuk yuk yuk). Love the redone Billy Joel stuff. And there's nothing like a good pianist song =)
Arwen - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeff...har har har...a comment very worthy of you, sir. Thanks for stopping by...=)
Dominic L. - September 06, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM-Another comment saying... nice parody...
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Stupendous. Frank Zappa would have felt the same way. 555
adagio - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good one, Arwen. How many years for whistling?
EmiLoca - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - Good work!
Red Ant - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still great, especially the internal rhyming.
Larry Hensley - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very original parody.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hey on, I actualy KTOS, who'da thunk it? Loved the name rhyming, very 50-ways-to-leave-yer-lover-esque. Worked in some obscure instruments, too, which was enjoyable.
Peter Andersson - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - If music is outlawed only outlaws will be musicians, would that really give us a different billboard top 10 than today? ;-)
Claude Prez - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I knew there was no chance nobody would've mentioned the Pele/ ukelele line yet. Tim is a smart man; that was great. And scary as this scenario is, I think we all agree Britney would make a great prison bitch. Very well done.
Phil Alexander - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought I commented on this first time around - lovely, Arwen. Beautifully done.
Johnny D - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Spaff.com - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
The problem with being the 87th commenter is that Stuart has already drawn the F.451 connection, Tim already has dibs on the "Pele and his ukelele" line, and someone has already pointed out that Claude would make a great prison bitch. Pretty much all that's left for me to do is point out the sexual overtones: "a rogue flute down on Harmony"; "he won't surrender his trombone;" "Oh, la la." Provocative work, you saucy minx.
Adam Eccleshall - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still excellent :-)
Rick C - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This must have posted during my PC crash hiatus. Great job, Arwen! Too many good lines to mention. Besides, they've already been mentioned....555
Rex - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Billy Joel's version of "the day the music died". Very clever stuff.
Tim Mayfield - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The key to any piano ban is the organ donors, I'd say. But it's not my forte nor my formata so I'll just hold on to it quietly.
Scathe - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Voted and commented.
Dee Range - October 02, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM. Better a piano ban than a parody ban. As hard as it would be without music, doing without parodies like these would be worse. Great stuff Arwen.
Kristof Robertson - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) My fave of the month...but you know that already
Arwen - October 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Hi, my name is Arwen...and I'm late with my thanks. Sorry about that. Okay...here goes...


Dominic...and here's another comment saying thank you!

Agri...and see...I would have been satisfied to get Dweezle's approval...Frank is a major bonus...=) Thanks!

Adagio...you know, I don't know. I'm thinking it's life. Because whistling is annoying anyway...; )

Emi...thanks!

Red Ant...thank you very much...I appreciate it!

Larry...yeah, nobody can write like I can...because nobody's brain works in my 'special' way.

Luke...it just makes me smile that you know the OS...that is a gift like none other. Oh wait...did EMINEM cover 'Piano Man?'

Peter/K1...hehehe...nice. Thanks!

Claude...for the record, while I thank you, Britney would NOT be my prison bitch of choice...I am SO over her...=)

Phil...yeah, I thought I had thanked you already...go figure. ; ) Thanks very much!

Johnny...done and done!

Spaff...you wouldn't run into that problem if you got your ass over here on a more regular basis. Do you want me to send you email reminders like I do for Leo? Because I will. I'm shameless. And congrats on catching my subliminal naughtiness...if anyone would be able to pick up on that...I had hoped it would be you. And thanks for calling me a minx. I love that word.

Adam...still thanking you!

Rick...again with the 'sorry I'm late' sob stories...I'm not buying it. ; ) Write me an essay on ALL of your favorite lines...or we are totally going to be in a fight.

Rex...ah...nice...thanks!

Tim...=) Good plan...thanks!

Scathe...noted and appreciated...thanks!

Dee...I'm with you! Thanks!

Kristof...ahhh...nothing makes me smile more than being someones favorite. That is why I'm smiling ALL the time...; ) Thanks!!
Ashkicksass - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Ukelele and fife? Are you making fun of Leo Jay and me? Because people love our ukelele and fife band, you bastard! (Or should I say ukelele and fife banned?) Brilliant job here!
Arwen - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
I guess changing the names to protect the innocent didn't work this time. Dammit, Ash...you got me. And you're right...everyone DOES love your ukelele and fife...which is why I made fun of them. Because I'm jealous of your limelight stealing ways. Bastard.
Red Ant - January 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3-P) See above!
Matthias - January 21, 2007 - Report this comment
A world without music, a place like this could only happen in.... The Twilight Zone
2LD4U - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Unfortunatly Matthias, nightmares do come true! In Afghanistan, music was outlawed under the Taliban. All the musicians wound up fleeing the country!
bobpiecheese - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3P) Well, that's worth about 30 nights of waking up screaming in cold sweat. Well done, Arwen!
Below Average Dave - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great parody here, and very unique. . .that's what makes it a great parody. I love the concept and to do it to a song like this, bravo.
Agrimorfee - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3) See above...
Stuart McArthur - January 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3) see above for early praise of this fine piece Arwen, and although I agree with your sentiments, the silver lining would be not having to listen to Sally and her frickin fife.....(and don't get me started on Pele's ukelele - does he EVER listen to himself?)
Johnny D - January 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) What Johnny D said, he'll say it again -- he's lovin' this song from the pen of Ar-wen!
tomario - January 29, 2007 - Report this comment
i think we have the basis for a movie here.i not sure how you would smuggle a double bass pass border control though (could be painful) loved the parody got my imagination working 555
Michael McVey - January 30, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't think you have to worry about this actually happening with the deep pockets of the entertainment industry, but it's an interesting thought and really just an extension of "American Pie".----MM
Kristof Robertson - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3P) Even by your giddy high standards, this one is extra-special. Rereading it was like looking up an old friend. BRAVO!
Cat - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Brilliant! Such an original concept, the "Pele/ukulele" and the rock star lines were my favorites.

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