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Song Parodies -> "50 Days to Find a Lover"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Days to Find a Lover"

Parody Written by:

Arwen

The Lyrics

Oh what a tangled web we weave...
The story played out inside my head so easily
I told an ex-boyfriend's mom I'm married happily
She said, "He'll be here in two months for you to see"
Now I've got fifty days to find a lover

You see, it's really not my habit to tell lies
But I won't risk looking like a big loser to this guy
He needs to think that I've one upped him, that is why
I've now got fifty days to find a lover
Fifty days to find a lover

So I'll take out an ad, Brad
Find me a man, Stan
I might pick up a bum, chum
And make him love me
Try dating dot com, Tom
Don't care where he comes from
I'd pay a nice fee, Lee
To make him love me

Go on a blind date, Nate
Flirt with my boss, Ross
Gonna swallow my pride, Clyde
To make him love me
Show off some leg, Greg
I might even outright beg
I'll work out a plea, Dee
To make him love me

I didn't think I'd ever see his face again
After he got married and moved to France with Mad-e-laine
I said "I really can't wait...to catch up; how's he been?"
Now I've got fifty days...

She said "I'll have him call you up, is that okay?
Can you believe his wife left him, he's cryin' both night and day
Too bad you're married..."
And I realized, there might still be a way
But I've got fifty days to lose my lover
Fifty days to lose my lover

We just had a big spat, Pat
Fell under a bus, Russ
He went out for a smoke, bloke
And then he left me
Found him in bed, Jed
Was asleep with a redhead
I'll make him an ex, Rex
To set myself free

Cover my lie, Sly
With a new tale, Dale
So now what could I say, Ray
To make myself free
I'll give him my heart, Bart
And then honesty will start
But if he bugs me, see
Another stor-y

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   20
 20
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Paul Robinson - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I noticed you tried very hard not to use anyone's name from the site...cute job here...5's, and I'm sorry, but I really must decline, dear - the age difference is just too great ~ ~ ~
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
There's nothing like reunions, except maybe the next reunion...
Phil Alexander - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Beautifully constructed, Arwen. And another (typically) sweet idea.
Rex - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Love the story, love the ending, and most of all love seeing my name in print - although did I have to be on the "lose" side? :-) YAAAP.
alvin rhodes - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day...brilliant songwriting AND storytelling
Matthias - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Dramatic story of wanted then immediatily after unwanted love, the drama of my life...
Paree Dee - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Hilarious !! Love a parody with a story line and a great ending. Thanks for today's shot of laughter !
Michael Pacholek - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Did you make Orlando go? Send him back where he's been, Vin? That's a song that I like, Mike. Now she's all for me.
Stuart McArthur - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I think you should do it - Stuart

excellent parody - excellent idea and execution - just excellent - 555
Dee Range - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
This would have made an awesome Seinfeld episode, with you as Elaine, throwing your dilemma at Jerry and Gang. How they screwed it up would have been a laugh riot. Great stuff Arwen.
Arwen - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Paul...Thanks very much...and how perceptive of you! At first, I was honestly going to try to make all of the names those of fellas from the site...but that pretty much bombed after 13 seconds of trying to find a word to rhyme with "Dumb Ass Kid."

K1...there are a very select few people from my "past" that I enjoy running into. Mostly because most of the people from my past have yet to move on from their past. It's a little sad, really. Why else do you think I've turned to all of you for acceptance and love? Because I'm too good for my own peers...; )

Phil...thanks a bunch. This sort of just fell together. I'd been working with the idea "50 Ways to Duck and Cover" about my gut reaction when I run into old boyfriends...and it sort morphed into another direction. I like this better...=)

Rex...=) You SHOULD feel honored, mister! ; ) Actually, I choose to think of the names as my dearest confidants...who I'm telling about my lying ways...rather than the men that I've dumped. We'd need a couple more verses for that...; )

alvin...well if that isn't an honor, then I don't know what is. Thank you very much. I consider myself, first and foremost...a story teller. I just get lucky when every once in a while I can tell those stories in rhyme...and to music that other people have written. =)

Matthias...oh stop it. Like any of us brokenhearted ladies want to hear about your 'playa' ways...; ) Thanks!

Paree Dee...are you new? I'm old...but I'm FABulous...so it should be a pleasure for both of us when I say WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!! =) And thanks. And you're welcome...hehehe.

Mister Pacholek...hehehehe. She's all for you indeed...=) Thanks!

Stuart...LOL! Thanks a million...like I've eluded to...this wasn't my intent going into the OS...but I'm happy with the outcome. More true to life, probably...; )

Dee...hee! If ONLY I had taken those Seinfeld producers up on their offer to make me a writer. Or...rather, if only those Seinfeld producers would have made me an offer to be a writer...; ) Alas...network television's loss...and at least I can make you laugh. =) Thanks!
Jeff Reuben - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
(Where is Fred, where is Fred), oh, he must be the subject of the song! Love the narrative stuff!
Serafina - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Hey Arwen... what's up?? Not much here. Anyways...I just came across this after missing it yesterday. It's always nice to see great parodies from you; I like this one very much! =)
Arwen - April 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Jeff...=) You have to know that "Jed" was originally "Fred," but then I got a case of the willies just thinking about him, and had to change it...=) Thanks!

Serafina...thanks very much...I'm glad you liked it!
LucidLupin - April 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant! 5s
Arwen - April 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, LucidLupin!
Ashkicksass - April 17, 2006 - Report this comment
50 Ways to crack my @ss up is more like it! Fab as usual, Baby!
Arwen - April 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Ash...oh how I love it when I get a surprise comment from you!! Thanks a million!
Chris Bodily TM - May 04, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, but I found a cover of it on altavista.com where K1 looks for songs he doesn't already have. And you really hit the nail on the hammer. But I think either you added an extra chorus or the cover band forgot a chorus, so I didn't count that against you (covers tend to do that sometimes, look at Van Halen's "Pretty Woman"). Nobody can write a song about love gone wrong other than MacArthur Park quite like you, Arwen. You should be proud to be a LOTR namesake. 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 05, 2006 - Report this comment
I figured you would put this one up for SOTM, glad you did because it's excellent and it's excellent to see you on this kind of writing roll, you've topped my list two months in a row now and though I'm not yet that far into this months evaluting you've so far taken a clear lead for a third, not one hundred percent sure but from the top of my head till the bottom of my butt I don't think even Spaff have had that kind of consistency when it comes to influence my humble opinion. :-)
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I like how you had a different line each time, upping Simon...I don't even think he approached 25 ways!
Rick C - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Another well-written little gem, Arwen. High fives.
Rex - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Most excellent, and topped off with a terrific final couplet.
Cat - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A great parody with an excellent middle twist. Nice job Arwen!
Scathe - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You've built a solid reputation on AmIRight for dating parodies. Nicely written.
Max Power - May 15, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Meh
bobpiecheese - May 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Personally, I don't like parodists with a one track mind. Arwen, you're lucky your subject is interesting and your parodies are brilliant. Tong, on the other hand...
Red Ant - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "Fell under a bus, Russ" LOL!. I liked the twist in the parody too.
Johnny D - May 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I especially like how it stays so close to the theme of the OS that it effectively makes the OS parody itself in your mind as you read it! Very cleverly crafted, Arwen.
Stuart McArthur - May 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) just read it again, 'wen!...just to myself, elf...I said just do it, Stuart...big LOLs from me
Larry Hensley - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) All the best parodies are released during my vacation! Anyway, 555s
wannabemustangjockey - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Having trouble with your relationships, eh Arwen? Don't worry...one will come along sometime... or maybe a few 5s...
Agrimorfee - June 22, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Still crazy after one more year.
Johnny D - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) I especially like how it stays so close to the theme of the OS that it effectively makes the OS parody itself in your mind as you read it! Very cleverly crafted, Arwen.
stuart mcarthur - July 01, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3#) already commented twice, and this is one of my faves of yours Arwen - the flow of this is just something else - hmm # is becoming a toughie
The Charnstar - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC-# Great work Arwen. Probably my favourite 50 Ways parody. Maybe my second... Oh well, 5-5-5
Michael McVey - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Great spoof -- but you must understand I would not go out with a revolving-door lover (even if I weren't married with a beautiful 2-week-old baby)!
Huh... - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
So, Michael, you not only missed the entire point of the parody, yet felt obligated to comment anyway, and then you assume that Arwen wants to date you? How arrogant can you get?!?
Red Ant - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
#/% - Still love this one, and it's even better on reread. "Try dating dot com, Tom" was a great line, and "bed, Jed/redhead" a perfect double rhyme. To "Huh...": Michael is in the ABC round, so he had to comment...
Kristof Robertson - July 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3#) I can see this was posted during my parody wilderness period last year, Arwen...hence the slightly late (13 months) comment. Of course, you are the reigning queen of the relationship parody, so it's no surprise that this is absolutely fabulous. Wow; this is gonna be a tough vote...555+
Cat - July 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
Lee O. - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Ingenius title/concept and storytelling. And thanks for the homage -- I'll even forgive your leaving off the"O." in order to make the rhyme and pacing work.

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