No, I would not give you false hope.

No, I would not give you false hope.

On this strange and mournful day

You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away.

You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away.

It suggests not only that school teaches you crap, but also that it makes you stupid.

It suggests, not only that school teaches you crap, but also that it actually makes you stupid.

We already heard that at the beginning.

We've got a guy here who doesn't know how to break with the woman in his life.He's getting advice from another woman who sounds like some kind of crazy witch,and who imparts that it's all in his head.It's the easiest thing in the world to do,apparently.In fact,she tells him,there must be 50 ways of doing this.Why 50?Why not 61 ways?Couldn't there be 78 ways?No.There must be 50 ways.So says this oracle of wisdom he's talking to.[I'm starting to wish there were 50 ways of strangling this number to death.]She says she didn't mean to intrude,and will repeat the advice about these 50 ways at the risk of being crude.Actually she repeats it at the risk of sounding like the stupidest woman ever born-[Slip out the back,Jack-Make a new plan,Stan-No need to be coy,Roy.Gus is told to get on the bus,and Lee to drop off the key-Just get yourself free.]What you're being told to do,in fact,is to be the personification of cowardice,selfishness,heartlessness,an all round humanoid sewer rat,who wont give a second thought to the heartache being left behind,and don't forget that you've got 50 ways of becoming that monster.She goes prattling on about it grieving her to see his predicament.Anything else she can do?Yeah,he says,let's go over those 50 ways again.Actually MR STUPID she's only just finished mentioning this thing TWICE already,not to mention the fact that she only covered a few of those 50 ways both times.She tells him to sleep on it all,and tomorrow he'll see the light-Talk about madness within madness.She kisses him-He thinks-Yeah,you're probably right-I've got 50 ways to dump her.Like I said earlier guys,I wish there were 50 ways to choke the life out of this,one of the most absurd things ever to slither into the mind of a lyricist.

Um ... what do lasers in the jungle have to do with the song context, or with rich people for that matter?

'nuff said.

This song was copyrighted in 1965 when Paul was 23. Paul Simon is now 64 (June 2006), but he won't be for long (October 13).

Gatorade

Newsweek

From his 1977 Greatest Hits, Etc. album