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Song Parodies -> "Better Not Count On Me"
Original Song Title:
"Love In The First Degree"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Alabama
Parody Song Title:
"Better Not Count On Me"
Parody Written by:
Arwen
The Lyrics
Well, you called me last night from prison
Said you saw my ad on T.V.
Hey before YOU have made your decision
There's something you should know 'bout me
To take all your money I'm tempted
Though I shouldn't charge you a dime
I am the worst
Some think I am cursed
I lose cases ev'ry time
Better off going defenseless
Pray for a hung jur-y
Winning's the thing that you're thinking of?
If so, you'll be sor-ry
'F you're guilty
You'd better not count on me
I cheated my way through Law School
So I rea-lly have no clue
None of my objections are ever sustained
What's a verdict, and what does it do?
I app-roved an all female jury
For my male chau-vin-ist de-fen-dee
Could you define a "crime?"
I'll admit I'm
Shak-y on voc-a-BU-lar-y
I don't care what your defense is
When they ask "What's your plea?"
All you should say, "My lawyer's a schlub"
Maybe they'll have mer-cy
'F you're guilty
You'd better not count on me
(Better not count on me)
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Smarter to go in defenseless
'Cause if you re-tain me
I'll call a Side Bar and order a Bud
Then claim insanity
'F you're guilty
You'd better not count on me
Better not count on me...oh no
You shouldn't count on me
No one can count on me...oh no
Better not count on me
You shouldn't count on me
No one can count on me
Said you saw my ad on T.V.
Hey before YOU have made your decision
There's something you should know 'bout me
To take all your money I'm tempted
Though I shouldn't charge you a dime
I am the worst
Some think I am cursed
I lose cases ev'ry time
Better off going defenseless
Pray for a hung jur-y
Winning's the thing that you're thinking of?
If so, you'll be sor-ry
'F you're guilty
You'd better not count on me
I cheated my way through Law School
So I rea-lly have no clue
None of my objections are ever sustained
What's a verdict, and what does it do?
I app-roved an all female jury
For my male chau-vin-ist de-fen-dee
Could you define a "crime?"
I'll admit I'm
Shak-y on voc-a-BU-lar-y
I don't care what your defense is
When they ask "What's your plea?"
All you should say, "My lawyer's a schlub"
Maybe they'll have mer-cy
'F you're guilty
You'd better not count on me
(Better not count on me)
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Smarter to go in defenseless
'Cause if you re-tain me
I'll call a Side Bar and order a Bud
Then claim insanity
'F you're guilty
You'd better not count on me
Better not count on me...oh no
You shouldn't count on me
No one can count on me...oh no
Better not count on me
You shouldn't count on me
No one can count on me
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
but i can always count on you to be amusing...5s
I can't say that I know the original song too well...but I can always count on you to write great parodies...so here's a 5-5-5! =)
Very funny and fitting...and I think you've described all attorneys..
OBJECTION! Councel is making the defendant giggle.....;-) 555
I think you presented your case very well. 555
Alvin...well, thanks...I'll try not to let you down! =)
Serafina...I won't hold it against you that you don't know an early 80s Alabama hit by heart...especially since you pour on the praise in spite of not knowing it...=) Thanks!
AFW...=) Thanks very much! I hope that isn't true...in case I ever DO need to sue someone. I've chosen my current attorney based upon his appearance only...I'm not sure how he'll hold up in an actual "legal" setting. ; )
Kristof...Overruled! =) Thanks!
PMS...well, thanks...I appreciate that!
Serafina...I won't hold it against you that you don't know an early 80s Alabama hit by heart...especially since you pour on the praise in spite of not knowing it...=) Thanks!
AFW...=) Thanks very much! I hope that isn't true...in case I ever DO need to sue someone. I've chosen my current attorney based upon his appearance only...I'm not sure how he'll hold up in an actual "legal" setting. ; )
Kristof...Overruled! =) Thanks!
PMS...well, thanks...I appreciate that!
Well I do know lots of early 80's songs, even though I was just a little girl then (and I do have some fond memories of my childhood during those days); Alabama is not a group whose music I've been very familiar with, that's all.
Count Something...I read through your comment 8 times with the most confused look on my face that I think I've ever made. Finally I read it out loud, thinking that might help...but all I got was the same look from my part time office secretary. I think you might have said something in the end about sex and my toes...and really, I'm flattered...but I just don't get into that kind of kinky stuff. But thanks. And I'm pretty sure I wonna forgeta. Or something.
It looks like a spam. You can report it with the "inappropriate" link. That's what I would do.
oh goody, it's gone. In the future, you don't have to respond to comments that don't make the least ounce of sense.
Some Person: Oh no...now MY response doesn't look nearly as clever, without that nonsensical reference point. And you and I clearly have different views on what spam is...because that wouldn't have fallen under the category for me. And I never would have reported it. Now I'm sad that it's gone...=(
SO...in the future, I will continue to respond to whatever comments I choose, whether they make sense or not...and you don't have to worry about cleaning up my comment threads for me.
SO...in the future, I will continue to respond to whatever comments I choose, whether they make sense or not...and you don't have to worry about cleaning up my comment threads for me.
Sorry then.
What if "jonny" did his thing again?
What if "jonny" did his thing again?
I'm sorry..."jonny?"
Not too long ago, there was a guy named "jonny" who kept spamming the comment threads simply by writing just his name in the comment body field. He's gone now.
your a real sweety aren't you. We don't ever reconcile. PERIOD oooh slipped that in there??? Im going with that. You just sell but no delivery. Have fun with that...................
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