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Song Parodies -> "Take A Vow (As Sung By Your Bitter, Always Single, In Denial, Friend)"

Original Song Title:

"Take A Bow"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Take A Vow (As Sung By Your Bitter, Always Single, In Denial, Friend)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I’m only frowning be-cause
Sad situation
Oooh, oh yeah
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah

You look happy right now
In your lacy white gown
As you’re walking down the aisle
I’m so bitter, I can’t smile
I’ll sit and pout

Don’t tell me he’s perfect
‘Cause he’s not
And even though he’s smart, rich, good with kids, and even hot

Pretty sure it’s all a show
Tears will soon be flowing
And not that I would know
MY love-life’s non-growing
WISH you had said “no”
THAT’S why I’m complaining
I’ll furrow my brow
(I’ll furrow my brow)
Watching you take a vow


Here’s my mar-i-tal stance:
(My stance)
You’ll wanna give it UP
When YOU get sick of romance
Missing out—NO more lonely girls’ weekends
MO-ping with your single friends
What drugs you on?


And don’t give me a wink and
Say, “You’re next!”
When girl you know I could-n’t land a man unless he’s hexed

Please don’t think I’m jealous, though
I’m just sorry for you
That YOU like it that Joe
AL-ways will adore you
Had him at hell-o?
Love is too restraining
I just don’t know how
(I just don’t know how)
You want to take a vow

But as you perch there to throw down your bou-quet
(Your bouquet)
You know I’ll kick and scream
And sweep the knee
En-sure it’s me
BUT I won’t freak out

You think I’m angry because
I lack in relations?

Well, I think that you should know
I’m glad to be single
MySpace name’s joke
Not “Despr8-2-Mingle”
Love my freedom so
A spinster in training
Please believe me now
(Oh believe me now)
Don’t want to take that vow!
I’m almost sure now…

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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Matthias - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
I love Rihanna but have always loathed this original song, one of her worst in my opinion. This OS just shades in comparison to her others like "Umbrella" and "SOS" but anyways onto the topic of your parody. It wasn't as funny as a lot of your usual ones, it was actually kinda depressing...
Arwen - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm sorry to have depressed you, Matty. Maybe it's a girl thing. Or maybe it really is UN-funny. It's kind of a poke at all those girls out there who pretend not to believe in marriage...or relationships...just because they haven't been successful in such ventures. People who are unlucky in love may not always be good targets...but people who can't be happy for others' success...just because they don't have it themselves...deserve to be made fun of. At least in MY opinion. Maybe you've never had a friend like that...but I have...and it drives me crazy.
Arwen - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, though...for stopping by. Didn't mention that. =) And, for the record, I love the OS. Pretty much anything written by Ne-Yo wins me over. I love that guy. He's got skills. He did a version of the OS, too...from the guy's point of view. Not quite as sassy...needless to say...but I like it, too.
Michael Pacholek - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Somebody must have found out that I'm going to another wedding weekend after this -- and, yet again, not my own. At least I have one advantage over the "always a bridesmaid"s: Dark blue suits beat flourescent taffeta dresses every time.
Arwen - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mr. Pacholek...always love to see you stop by. I'm sure you'll look smashing in your blue suit this weekend. Maybe one of those flourescently clad bridesmaids will be smitten. ; )

Also...thanks for stopping by with the 1s, bitter and humorless visitor. This one was for folks just like you! =)
Matthias - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Hearing this the original song I liked it a little bit better it has a very dry sarcastic humor to it especially with lines like: "When girl you know I could-n’t land a man unless he’s hexed". Different kind of humor from you Arwen... But I'm no longer depressed. Yay!
Fiddlegirl - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
DKTOS, so I didn't leave a vote... but I did get the joke! ;)
alvin - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
always the bridesmaid...but always getting fives anyway...nice to see your name grace these pages, arwen
Arwen - August 07, 2009 - Report this comment
So happy that you've cheered up, Matty...=)

Fiddlegirl...well, good. I'm glad someone did! ; ) Thanks for stopping by!

Alvin...I wish my named graced the pages more often. I get the fact that I'm totally lame in the quantity department lately...I'll try to do better. Thanks, though! =)
Ash - August 27, 2009 - Report this comment
"Don't give me a wink and say "you're next." made me guffaw! This was such a fun departure from your normal stuff girl. Loved it!
Blaydeman - December 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Arwen, I though this was hillarious! Just stubble acrossed it (lucky me!) I love sarcastic humor!
Porfle Popnecker - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
Awesome parody.

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