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Song Parodies -> "Keep Avoiding You"

Original Song Title:

"Keep On Lovin' You"

Original Performer:

REO Speedwagon

Parody Song Title:

"Keep Avoiding You"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Um... I have a hard time committing myself to a relationship. I also have a hard time telling men that I have a hard time committing myself to a relationship. So usually...I don't do either...
Although it seems that there's love in my eyes, baby
I don't want your kissin'
I'll drop the hint with the tone of my voice...maybe
That you I'm dismissin'
I'll play dead
Hide under my bed
Until you see I'm not your lass
You'll get subtle dissin'

I swear I do this with all the men
A mixed signal sender
You make a fuss, "Baby, where have you been?
Are we still together?"
So I a note that read
"When I said that I love you
I meant that I love you--"

Now I'm gonna keep a-voidin' you
Until the day you see that we are through
I won't say a peep
I'm just gonna keep a-voidin' you

[I'll sneak out the back door while you listen to the guitar solo]

And I left every word unsaid
Couldn't play that I love you
Nor say that I'll dodge you forever

Boy, I'm gonna keep a-voidin' you
'Til you decide to find somebody new
I'm not losin' sleep
But I'm gonna keep a-voidin' you

Baby, I'm gonna keep a-voidin' you
'Cause I'm too chicken, boy, to tell the truth
Don't want you to weep
So I'm gonna keep a-voidin' you--oo-oo-oo
I know. I'm a beast. But I'm so damned cute, that it doesn't matter, right? ; )

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 35

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   31

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Does that mean...that we're....Arwen? ARWEN?? ;-) Very funny, especially "I'll pay dead/ Hide under my bed"...wonderful! 555
Rex - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
"I meant that I love you - however" - awesome! Great job of playing off the original too.
That Bastard - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Very Funny, good take
alvin rhodes - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
you NEVER return my phone calls .(WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) ..but i'm gonna keep reading your stuff anyway...cause you write great parodies...5s
2nz - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
"...but she's always a woman to me..."
Another educational one. I must confess that I DKTOS, and I promise return when the song I should learn. Maybe honesty isn't always the best policy, as you've noted, but if you start dodgin' me, I'd want it to be for the right reasons. As a free-read, I especially enjoyed 'sneaking out the back during the solo'.
Michael Pacholek - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
So what you're saying is, "It's not you, it's me"? Five points, one for each of your personalities!
Ravyn Rant - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I can really relate to this...and it's so much more realistic than the original! 555
Serafina - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I like it!! Very nicely done as always, Arwen. =)
carol - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
you just keep them hanging on 555
stuart mcarthur - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
"HOWEVER..." was a LOL moment, and I liked the guitar solo comment too - and the Arwen Chronicles take another turn - 555
PMS - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I agree with Rex!
MrMacphisto - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I loved it... even though I've been on the receiving end of this too many times...
Arwen - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment, it doesn't mean that. I mean...I'm going to call you...soon. I promise. ; ) Thanks! all have to know that THAT line was my favorite. Thanks for agreeing with me...=)

That Bastard...oh wow, this is awkward. I really don't know how to say this...but...WHICH 'that bastard' are you? I've met quite a few. Thanks, though...and if you're the 'that bastard' that I think you'm still mad at you about that one thing I named you 'that bastard' about...; )

Alvin...hehehe...there really happens to a lot of good men. Consider yourself lucky that you at least got my number...before I started ignoring you. It's more than a lot of guys can say...; ) Thanks!

2nz...aside from the fact that I'm bamboozled that you DKTOS, I am pulling most strongly from your comment that there is, in fact, a right reason to avoid you. Is that true? Spill it. ; ) Oh, and thanks very much...

Michael...thanks for the 5s, and of COURSE that's not what I'm saying. This isn't about you,'s about me. It's not's me. Oh, wait... got that least in my life it is! Thanks!

Serafina...thanks...=)...I'm glad you liked it!

Carol...yes I do. And sometimes, I feel sort of bad about it. But then I see some hot guy to take my mind of said bad feelings...; ) Thanks!

Stuart...again with the thanks on my favorite line...and the Arwen Chronicles are more twisted'll be back later with a great 'more twisted than _____' line. Until then...thanks!

PMS...hey, so do I! ; ) Thanks a ton!!, I'm glad you can praise this even after falling victim to such behavior. You're a tough guy. And the fact that you're doing so well...only means that you're strong enough for some girl to stomp all over your heart again...; ) Thanks!!
Peregrin - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one Arwen :) And all very true.
Huff - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
HHAHAHAHAAHA!!! Real nice. 55555555555.
Arwen - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks very much, Pippin and Huff! =)
The Real Tony - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
It's fine with me if you play dead. I'm a necrophiliac.
Kyla - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice play on the original there.
Arwen - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Tony...oh GOOD. It was my worry that you WEREN'T that made me want to dodge you in the first place...; ) Thanks!

Kyla...thanks very much!
Jeff Reuben - November 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I actually have a half-written song called "Keep On Snubbing You" to this very tune. Great minds think alike! (Bassturd ). Well done, now I can rip my version to pieces knowing it was done as it should be =)
Arwen - November 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeff! Glad to see you, and glad to know that my mind might work in a manner even slightly similar to yours. =) (although you should finish yours and post it, so as to school me...) Thanks a bunch!!
Ashkicksass - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOOOO Great! I LedOL at HOWEVER, but I wish you would have spelled it HOWEVERRRRR the way the lead singer says it!
Arwen - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
If all I ever do in life is get your approval, Ash...I will be happy. I will be happier if I get your approval and I'm married to Vin get the picture. Thanks!
Jeff Reuben - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey Arwen, long time no...dang!
Peter Andersson - December 04, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - There's no guarantee that it will still be there when YOU (Whoever you are) read this, but I found the original song here:
Dumb Ass Kid - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Freakin' awesome!!! 555
stuart mcarthur - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above - um , you wouldn't play dead and hide under your bed at the same time would you, Arwen? because surely one of the two would be superfluous, I'm thinking - but on the other hand, it WOULD really drive the point home - LOL - (d'you reckon Carrie Bradshaw ever chanelled you, by any chance?)
Agrimorfee - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) There's no avoiding the clever songwriting here.
Josh 2 - December 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) dktos soz
Red Ant - December 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I had been avoiding this parody because "Keep Me Hangin' On" for some reason kept popping in my head when I read the title. Alas, with the link Peter provided I now know TOS. I have to say that karaoking this perfectly paced and rhymed parody made me LOL since it would....nevermind. Great stuff Arwen. 555
Matthias - December 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Geeze another song about me, I told you I was sorry about the Dancing Like A Dork thing... LOL... 5's - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
So THAT'S why you didn't show up at the wedding. You could have told me this before I sent out all the invitations and stuff. Ah well, it turned out for the best: this being Utah, I married all the bridesmaids.

I don't know what impresses me most: the "I love you, HOWEVER" line or the fact that you got Sister Kicksass to make a rare guest appearance. Nice coup.
bobpiecheese - December 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is hilarious!! Such a demented love song is worthy of Mr. Yankovic himself. Brilliant.
John Jenkins - December 22, 2005 - Report this comment
A very well done parody with a lot of clever substitutions. I, too, liked the "however" for "forever," and also the "peep/keep" for "sleep/keep."
Adam Eccleshall - December 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Loved this, particularly the guitar solo comment :-)
Fed Up With Triple One Voters - December 25, 2005 - Report this comment
C'mon, why did two basterds have to give this a triple one vote??? I hope Santy Claus puts a lump of coal in each of their stockings...this parody was NOT the least bit off paced.
Phil Alexander - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Lovely, simply lovely - especially the "forever"/"however.." substitution. Definitely one of the ten so far in my top five ;-)
Tim Mayfield - December 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - Weird. I seem to have been avoiding this parody. It was brilliant and all, I did actually read it last month... umm, alright I have no excuse. I was just um, well, you see... well, I am here now, aren't I?
Kristof Robertson - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above...WAY up at the very top!
wannabemustangjockey - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Interesting...I vaguely remember this OS. I believe you though. Not bad.
Johnny D - December 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Perfect reversal of the OS, brilliant!
Claude Prez - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Add me to the list of "HOWEVER"-lovers. A true Arwen parody.
Rick C - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Loved the "sneak out the back door during the guitar solo" line, among many others. 555
2nz - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
What a great guitar solo... where'd she go?
I'm still a fan, or as much of one as I can be without knowing the original. I found some sites that used to have the mp3, but it has since been removed. You'll have to trust that I enjoyed it the second time around based purely on the free-read fun.
Alyssa - October 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Arwen; your parody is very funny.. but it reads more like lyrics... SInce I'm starting a couple of bands which have a heavy REO Speedwagon influence with them... May I copy the words to your parody,and maybe use them in a better way?
Arwen - October 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Alyssa...I would really REALLY prefer that you didn't. And I have a pretty sharp attorney on speed dial who would also prefer that you didn't. I never throw down the actual copyright info at the bottom of my parodies like some folks I usually frown upon legalities. As a pointer though, telling me that you could do something "better" with what I've put my heart and soul into...doesn't do so much for my charitable side. Sorry...

Oh wow...a bunch of folks who should have gotten thanks that didn't...sorry guys!! You're all awesome!!
Fed Up With Triple One Voters - November 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Make that 3 basterds. That kind of thing is just dumb. (Straight ones, that is.)

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