Guys
Think I’m fine
Though I’m fif-ty years old
Yeah, they
Will say yes
‘Cause I’m rich
And it shows

You might,
Think I dress
In-ap-PRO-pri-ate-ly
When I troll
For guys younger than me!

‘Cause I’m hot, though I’m old
Young men can’t say no
I primp and I pout
And stick my boobs out
Go clubbin’ all night
In leopard skin tights
Frat guys pick me up
Admirin’ my cups

(My)
My ex-husband doesn’t know, oh
(Where)
Where all the alimony go-oes

‘Cause I’m hot, though I’m old
I’m brash and I’m bold
The college girls hate
How I steal their dates

Raise
The alarm
I’ve got twins
On my arm
My TUM-my tuck gets
Guys much fast-
-ER than charm

You can laugh
If you want
As my TAL-ents I flaunt
‘Cause you think
This Cougar’s just deranged

But I’m hot, though I’m old
The guys tell me so
Get men half my age
My needs to assuage
My lipstick’s too bright
My dress is too tight
Don’t care if it fits
If numbers it gets

(Oooh)
Demi Moore became my I-dol
(Oooh)
When, snagging Ashton, she went Bri-dal

I’m hot, though I’m old
But don’t try to scold
‘Cause there’s nothing wrong
With my granny thong

(Meow!)

Can’t help that I hunger
For the ones who are decades younger
Set up with someone older
Find they’re not my type

Guys
Think I’m fine
Though I’m fif-ty years old

‘Cause I’m hot, though I’m old
Young bucks love my dough
They nibble my ear
I pay for their beer
You say, “It ain’t right!”
But don’t pick a fight
I desperately flirt
But no-one gets hurt

I’m hot and I’m old
A sight to be-hold
I know what you think
My mind’s on the brink
And you might be right
But watch me to-night
You’ll see it’s not hard
To fill my dance card

(You)
You would never, ever say so
(You)
But you’re just jealous of my mo-jo

I’m hot and I’m old
Teach you what I know?
Well rule number one
Let go of my son…