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Song Parodies -> "Guys I've Dated"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Avril Lavigne

Parody Song Title:

"Guys I've Dated"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The more guys you burn...the greater chance you have of it coming back to bite you...

Uh huh, girls’ night out
Uh huh, uh huh, time to let it out
It’s girls’ night out
Uh huh, uh huh, let it all hang out

I’m out, with my girls tonight
Single, so we’re all fishin’ right
We all wanna find a guy to hold
‘Fore we’re old
Don’t know, where the winners are
But we’ll try our fav’rite bar
Think I see a guy, could be the one
He turns and ummm…

FAM-iliar face
A mem’ry erased
So I turn my back
Have a heart attack
I’m tryin’ to be cool
I feel like a fool, you see
Tell me

Why’d I have to go for him? We’ve already dated!
I threw him away
With lies about my compromised health; his breath I hated
A fib or two
“Ooh, pretty please, a disease, in my head
I’ll be dead in a week”
Cause I don’t rely on honesty
And honestly I never thought he’d know I misled
Oh, no, no

Ran out, found another place
Two drinks, Susie’s suckin’ face
With a guy she met on the dance floor
Seen him before?
I watch, as they stop for air
I’d know, that nose anywhere
Is-n’t he the one I dumped be-coz
Of his big schnoz?

Another guy
I ditched with a lie
Sent him a note
I hastily wrote
“I’m on a plane
I’m movin’ to Spain, Louie
Write me!”

Why’d she have to go and make it some guy I’ve dated?
If Susie wants to
Introduce us I don’t want to see his face deflated
Lies he’ll see through
Disapprove, didn’t move, that detail, it’s a fail, I regret
And I turn to find a hiding place
A disgrace, my confidence is really ailing
Oh, no, no

Oh, no, no
Oh, no, no
Oh, no, no
Oh, no, no
Oh, no, no

Hid-ing, on the bathroom floor
Three chairs, are blocking up the door
Some guy, sent over a round of drinks
And I think

Somebody else
I’ve dated myself
Think his name was Jack
With hair on his back
I spun him a yarn
‘Bout buying a farm in Bree
Kill me!

Why’d I have to go and lie to those guys I’ve dated?
I told them all I’ve
Moved or that I’ve died and now I think they’re irritated
What could I do?
Be upfront? Or be blunt? Spread the word?
“You’re a nerd, I’ll forget?” No, they’d turn me into
Such a jerk, wouldn’t work; I thought it would be best to slur it
Oh, no

Now I’m stuck here hidin’ from these guys that I’ve dated
I’m never gon-na
Live it down with anyone else, I’ll just be hated
Just want-ed to
Run around, let ‘em down, I confess
Yeah I guess, it’s a mess with these guys I cut loose
Honestly, promising I think I’ve fin’ly learned my lesson
Oh, no, no

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   18

User Comments

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Glen S - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
I appreciate a song about guys who have been dated before to a song that has DEFINITELY been parodied before. Nice work Arwen, good to see you still around
Forrest Gump a.k.a Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Going out after thirty is like finding a box of chocolate long after Christmas, all the good ones are already taken and what's left is some liquor-filled slimy ones in the corners...
Ash - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
LOL on Peter's comment . Those poor bastards never stood a chance, did they?
Michael Pacholek - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
No, we didn't. On a more truthful note, I swear, I am NOT making this up: On this comment, the Security Code was ELF!
Rebekah Dub - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
I've thought about pulling a couple of these myself. Alas, I didn't. Fun parody; 5's! =)
Jeff Reuben - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
An Arwen classic. I take pride in being liquor-filled, although I try not to be too slimy
AFW - February 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Very well done...with funny alibis, well chosen inner rhymes, and quite a companion to the same song version above...In fact, this problem sounds like a good reason to go that root, or route...
Phil Alexander - February 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Hmm.. some of those excuses sound familiar. Have we met? :-)
Porfle Popnecker - February 16, 2012 - Report this comment
A very fun read.
Abbott Skelding - February 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Great work here, a creative idea that was pretty well executed. The pacing seemed a little off to me in some places, but I think it's fine...nice job!
Blaydeman - February 22, 2012 - Report this comment
(AofA) I'm agree with Abbott. The pacing did seem a bit fumbled in places which is very uncharacteristic of you. I was surprised. The comedy however is still there in full throttle. Good work Arwen! Hey and how about e and you doing the same song and submitting it on the same day?! Weird right?!
Matthias - February 26, 2012 - Report this comment
This was a pretty fantastic parody (I think Blaydeman's complicated won this round for being just so darn bizarre) but this was definitely a runner up. It reminds me of Barney Stinson from the TV Show "How I Met Your Mother" and how he tells girls an assortment of lies in order to sleep with them once and never see them again and it usually comes back to bite him in the butt. This was a pretty good parody (I don't know if it's your ultimate dating parody I think that title belongs to "I'll Find Me A Guy" but it was very good)
Christie Marie M - February 26, 2012 - Report this comment
(Ages 9) Wow, been there, done that! It's weird to run into exes out of the blue...and downright scary! Spoken like a true heart-breaker! You could be an emotional escape artist, like this guy here:! LOL!! Well good work on the satire and captured the emotions of a guilty heartbreaker...555.
bobpiecheese - February 28, 2012 - Report this comment
(Ages) The pacing in the chorus threw me off a bit, though maybe because I'm trying to sing it to the song in my head and it's meshing with Weird Al's version, that never helps. Interesting twist on the whole "love 'em and leave 'em" thing, 555!
D-Mon - February 28, 2012 - Report this comment
(AofA) 2 "Complicated" parodies, dang! This was great too!
Glen S - March 19, 2012 - Report this comment
see above, still appreciate this one, Arwen. Let em down then skip town.
bobpiecheese - March 27, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Arwen - March 30, 2012 - Report this comment
2nz...thanks a bunch!

K1...LOL!! Thank you!

Ash...never! Thanks!

Mister security code EVER! ; ) Thank you!! excuses are your excuses! Thanks!'re my favorite slimy guy of all the slimy guys...; ) Thanks!

AFW...Thank you!

Phil...Huh? I can't hear you...I'm hiding under a table until you leave.

Porfle...thank you!

Abbott...thanks very much!

Blaydeman...sorry you stumbled...but thank you!

Matthias...the only time I'm okay with someone saying something isn't my best work is when they are comparing it to "Can't Find Me A Guy," which, you're my timeless masterpiece. ; ) Thanks!

Christie...glad I'm not alone! Thanks!

BPC...thank you!

D-Mon...thanks a ton!

2nzy...again... =) Nothing better than staying power. Unless it is within a relationship apparently...then for me, at least, the dashing/hiding/avoiding power trumps it all. haha.

BPC...I saw above. ; ) Thanks again!
Abbott Skelding - March 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Second reading, still just as great as I remember!
Blaydeman - March 31, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still really funny!
Matthias - May 01, 2013 - Report this comment
Great to see this again (which is kind of ironic seeing what the topic is about)
Rex - May 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice tossing in the reference to Bree, Elf Princess. And telling the truth is overrated -- for example, I would tell women about my life as a neurosurgeon star quarterback advisor to the President, but they never believed me.
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Gotta be honest, this was another Arewen Classic.
Max Power - May 06, 2013 - Report this comment
Fool around and you might wind up like Diane Keaton in "Finding Mr. Goodbar".
bobpiecheese - May 07, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above...again!
Blaydeman - May 07, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Again, love it!

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