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Song Parodies -> "I Only Love You For Your Car"

Original Song Title:

"Just the Way You Are"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"I Only Love You For Your Car"

Parody Written by:

Arwen

The Lyrics

Stop explaining your views on NATO
Unless you want to hear me snore
Don't assume that I think you're clever
'Cause chatting with you is a chore

I'll let you woo me; tell me I'm gorgeous
But charm alone won't get you far
Your poems don't rhyme, here's the bottom line:
I only like you for your car

Though you've got a blind man's fashion
And it's true that you've got no hair
Don't care that your heart's filled with compassion
That doesn't change this love affair

To find a looker's my temptation
I'd love someone who knows the Bard
I'll make it simple, don't mean to shock you
I'll stay with you just for your car

You need to know that you are so lucky
To have a girl like me with you
What will it take 'til you give me the key
To your sweet B-M-W?

I do not love you, nor will I ever
But I hold deep inside my heart
Love for the posh life of heated leather
I only love you for your car

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   20
 20
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen, you might want to send this to "Car Talk."
Ashkicksass - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
You're a terrible person. I think that's why we've become such good friends...

Oh yeah, and terrific job on the song!
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah...I AM terrible...that's why everyone wants to be just like me...; )

Thanks, John & Ashkicksass!
K1chyd - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Beware, you might be as replaceable as the spare tire... :-)
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Watch it, Bub! You aren't allowed to even THINK that I'm replaceable at ALL. Because I'm not. I'm one of a kind...and I'm the best thing that ever happened to...um...anyone I ever happened to.

Hmph.
Johnny D - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
"Love for the posh life of heated leather"........rrrrrowwwrrrr..... ;-D ...... 5's
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, thanks, Mr. D!
Cookie-man - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
You are a very naughty girl.......and that is why I like you! ;) Excellent work!
alvin rhodes - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
funny one, arwen....5s.........i drive a 10 year old yellow and orange truck...still love me ?
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I think, if it's at all possible, that I love you ever more, Alvin! Plug a heating pad into the cigarette lighter and I'm yours forever, baby!
The Thought Police - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
555 and Wow ! Eleven comments about a Billy Joel parody about cars and not one mention of crashing? I'm impressed ! Why to think that I -wait a minute-I've broken the streak didn't I ? Darn ! ; )
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
That should say EVEN more. Dammit.
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
TTP--again...thanks for always making me smile. You're such a cute commenter! =)
Dee Range - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent as usual, Arwen. I don't drive a car much, I usually push or tow mine. High 5's
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Hee hee, Dee! Thanks a lot!
Kristof Robertson - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Damn....I've just sold my Aston Martin!! You'll have to have the Jag instead...sorry! 555
Paul Robinson - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Looks like you're in the driver's seat on this one. 0-to-12 perfect votes in 8 hours. Hmmm....the car I drive now was/still is the only new car I ever bought - A 1998 Ford Escort. Never any trouble or expensive repairs so far (except some driver inflicted road damage to the rims one time).
Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof: Hmmm...I suppose a Jaguar will be sufficient...but only because you're such a cute little S.A.B. For anyone else...it would have been the boot! ; ) Thanks!!

Paul: You take care of that Escort, mister! You never know when that very special Escort seeking lady is going to be watching...=) Thanks so much!
K1chyd - August 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I know women like that, when it comes to love all they know about it is what they´ve picked up at the crash course...
Arwen - August 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Whatever. I wrote the crash course. Whatever the hell that means.
Spaff.com - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey Sister Evenstar: Thanx for plugging this where I wouldn't miss it. I agree - intelligence and wit are way overrated. Materialism RULES. And by "the Bard" I assume you mean the Bountiful Area Refuse Dump? I sure as hell know THAT place! I go there to hang out with the thousands upon thousands of examples of the Utah state bird (i.e., the California Gull - talk about envying states with REAL bodies of water). Oh, the majesty of picking through garbage!
Arwen - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah ha, Spaff...I knew I could lure you over one way or another. Thanks...

So...Pretty interesting that you mentioned the Sea Gull, and its love for the intricate beauty of a landfill. As hard as it may be to believe, I have always been THIS witty, as I developed a keen sense of humor as a child. I don't really remember the conversation, but apparently, I told my mom and dad that I'd renamed them "Dump Gulls," as I'd mainly see them...well...at the dump.

At least my parents always prided me in being clever enough to come up with that...so...don't shatter all of their hard esteem building now...feel free to applaud me at any time...
Leo Jay - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Hee, I'd missed this before -- haven't been keeping up on my parody reading habits. See, this is why I don't drive -- so I can be sure women want me for my looks. This is great.
Arwen - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Make no mistake, Leo...I want you for your tight leather pants.

Thanks, Buddy...
Michael Pacholek - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
VROOM! VROOM! VROOM! VROOM! VROOM!
Arwen - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Although I doubt that I'll ever be as eloquent as you just were, Mr. Pacholek...thank you! =)
Serafina - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it! Nicely done; I gotta give it 5-5-5. :)
Arwen - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, thanks, Serafina!! I'm glad you liked it!
Jeff Reuben - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Reading the comments was almost as entertaining as the song itself! Almost.
Phil Alexander - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree, Jeff - and the song is a hoot, too. Hey, hold on a sec... my car's got heated leather seats, too ;-)
Arwen - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jeff & Phil!!
Stuart McArthur - November 15, 2004 - Report this comment
and I thought you were with him for his outie belly button - you are shameless - and you're even prepared to heat up his leather - have you no decency
Arwen - November 16, 2004 - Report this comment
You know Stuart...I think that decency is WAY over rated. What does it get me, in the end? Heated leather? I don't think so...; )
Michael Pacholek - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Trust me, Arwen, it ain't decency if it gets you in the (THE REMAINDER OF THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN CENSORED)!
Arwen - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL, MP!! =)

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