Oh. My. God. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Micky Dolenz (formerly of The Monkees) is the morning D.J. on WCBS, and as he put this song on THIS MORNING, I thought, "hmm... maybe I'll try doing something with that...). Bass Turd.

(oh, and... masterful as always, BTW...)

Hiliarious!

This is why I never wear high heel shoes....anymore.

This is up there with the funniest stuff you've ever written, Arwen. Monkey murderer....whoud've thought? :-) 555

The title alone made me laugh. Very funny.

Captivatingly displayed.

Somehow I can't avoid thinking that the reason behind this parody is that there's a new guy in your life, one with a really hairy back... ;-)

I love your hot monkey parodies.

Leo...once I got in there (your mind) I couldn't get enough! Get used to it. I'm TOTALLY stealing all of your parody ideas from now on.

John B...thanks!!

Rex...you and me both...=)

Kristof...yes, yes...I've got dark secrets that would knock your socks off...; ) Thanks!!

Claude...thanks a ton!

Tim...captivatingly commented...thanks.

K1...don't be silly...you all know I don't do body hair...: )

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles906.shtml

Johnny...awww...thanks!

Very good title, very good rhyming, and a lot of good lines - I liked the "dung sweeping girl."

Thanks, John!!

very original and funny...5s plus..nice job, arwen

Never thought I read a parody about Zoo Poo....I guess it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta' do it...good job.

LOL from a Four Seasons fan. Like others have said, very funny, very original, lots of great lines. I wish I could ape your talent!

Time wounds all HEELS. I take it this was not your idea of "Seasons in the sun." It could have been worse: You could have killed an entire room full of monkeys.

Arwen, I'm new to this zoo and it's 5's for you. I'm still laughing!!

that's hilarious - don't worry, Arwen, 1300 hours will pass in a flash - careful with the rhino boils tho' (they can pop like balloons) - 555

alvin...always nice to hear from you, mr. rhodes. Thanks!

AFW...thanks! I'm always willing to take on the dirty work. Actually I'm not. I'm a Goddess and deserve servants...; )

MasonR...don't be silly...I've barely got enough talent to get myself by...you've got plenty of your own! Thanks, though!

Michael...don't think the RFoM didn't cross my mind. It's a little scary that we're starting to think alike. Next think you know, you'll be a Ringhead, and I'll be swooning over Mr. Spock.

Rick C...there's nothing I like more than to see someone who's new to the site appreciate my BRILLIANCE so quickly. Some folks have taken AGES to convert...; ) (mr. pacholek, for one)

Stuart...thanks!

''You laughed, he threw his poop at me'' - That was absolutely fabulous 555

Alyssa...well, I don't think I've seen you around before...that makes 2 new fans in one day! Break out the limbo bar, this calls for a celebration!!! Thanks!!

I wouldn't call myself a fan just yet, Arwen

And you thought cleaning up after the dog or cleaning the cat box was bad enough. Joan Embry was featrured in the latest issue of The Pet Press and she learned the hard way that working for the zoo isn't the fun job you would expect.

Alyssa...I see. My bad.

2Eagle...I wouldn't EVER want to work at the zoo. Community Service has been bad enough...; )

Oh that poor little monkey! I can't believe you! You bitch! I'm glad they're making you clean cages now. Ha!

And also, I'm glad Alyssa isn't one of your fans yet, because there really isn't any more room in the club. Sorry.

Fabulosa my darling!

Me, a Ringhead? That would be highly illogical.

LMAO, girl. Here's hopin' you spend the rest of that 1300 hours writing parodies! 555

Ash...just seeing you here made my WHOLE day. Thanks for the lovely comments, too. Against the advice of my attorney, I will just say this...the monkey had it coming.

And thanks, the most, for the support in this hard time of learning that Alyssa doesn't really like me. =) I know she said "yet," but she clearly doesn't realize that there's a small window on things like this...

Michael...you're right. And I spoke too quickly on my Spock prediction. Pointed ears be damned...Kirk is definitely more my type.

Dee...thanks!! I'll work my hardest to create a whole menagerie of hits...=)

Give me a break

Meh... Ive seen better

So what if Alyssa has a opinion, you have no right to judge, just because you think you have the best song in the world and you think everything is perfect about it and other people dont so you have to get your little pussy frieds in your little pussy club to gang up on her.

you all need to get a life

Preach it Sistah!

Alyssa...okay.

To all the "dirty sluts"...

1. I've seen better, too. Glad we're on the same page.
2. I'm glad Alyssa has an opinion. I enable comments so that I can get different opinions...whether they are praise or not. I never judged her. I DON'T think I have the best song in the world, NOR do I think everything is perfect about it. (see #1) And I am always willing to fight my own battles, (though I never considered this to be one) so I sure as hell didn't ASK anyone to gang up on her. I can't help it if BRILLIANT people who have their own opinions think I kick ass...(and they're right...I do.)

By the way...I don't even think I have any "frieds." To be honest, I don't even know what you mean by that. Like fried chicken? Some fried cheese? Don't be silly...if I WERE going to enlist the help of any food products in my crusade against injustice, I would certainly choose something that was either baked or broiled...not because it's healthier...but because it's a shame to waste something as delicious as fried cheese on a bunch of "dirty sluts."

On behalf of organized sluts in cyberspace, we apologize for the conduct of a few rogue members. Our membership is by and large made up of honorable, hardworking sluts specializing in oral -- rather than written -- activities. We do not endorse the rantings of this small and insignificant minority of union members who have chosed to visit this parody.

Well, if that isn't a relief, then I don't know what is. PL6969SU, I appreciate your expedition in addressing this matter...

If those sluts think they're getting into our bitchy clique club, they have another think coming! I can't believe they got all of their slutty friends in their slutty club to gang up on us.

BTW, Sluts, are any of you named Andrew?

Oh, and PL6969SU, you are welcome to our club any time of course...we're always in need of some great politicos...

LOL!!! I love you, Ash!!

I don't know what 'sluts united' is, but the dirty sluts that have commented on this site, are certainly not part of that organization p.s, arwen i am really sorry if you got offended by me saying that i'm not a fan, but you know, i'm not. And he meant to say 'friends', you know, like Ashkickass, that member of your posse. but i really DID like your parody. just to make that clear

Don't be silly, Alyssa...there isn't much you could say that would offend me.

Well, it has been confirmed that the sluts previously identified as having commented on this parody, ARE in fact members of Local 6969, and as a result of their unseemly behavior, are being levied fines in the form of additional dues. (Meaning, they'll have to 'due' me, and the entire executive board.)

LOL!

Whatever.. Sluts united, thats so gay. They don't belong to your freaking little club, they belong to me

I'm sorry Arwen, this is getting boring, i'm not going to waste anymore time here, it's really not worth. It was nice meeting you though, Arwen. Good luck with the rest of your parodies, I'm sure you'll find lots more fans. see you in the future. By the way, are you a guy? I was just wondering.

Alyssa, is 'gay' supposed to be some sort of perjorative term? Unlike yourself, I am proud to be a lesbian. Ever since you lost the election, you and your little cadre of supporters have been conspiring to undermine my administration at every turn. But it will not work.

I'm sorry you're getting bored, Alyssa...but it probably is better that you leave...as I find your use of the term "thats so gay," both in a grammatical and in a moral sense, to be TOTALLY unacceptable...

I do find it interesting that by calling the dirty sluts "yours," that you're admitting to rallying up your troops to pick on me; the same thing that they accused me of doing. The only difference is that I didn't ask anyone to do it.

And...while you've said that you won't be coming back...such a waste of your time, after all...I am DYING to know what reasoning you've worked up that would give you the slightest idea that I would be a guy. Seriously. That question alone is enough to tell me that you really AREN'T a fan...

Oh...and PL6969SU...keep on truckin!

We're not truckers, we're ****ers.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't expecting that...

I know i said i wouldn't be coming back, but i couldn't help myself... I'm sorry Arwen for using the term 'gay', but I'm half your age and my vocabulary isn't that great. I didn't 'rally my troops to pick on you', there was only two people and i didn't ask them to. To the president of watchamacallit... I find your organization very intriguing... and funny, nice comeback. ... Arwen, I'm sorry i have to tell you the truth, from the moment i saw your name, i thought you were a man, but i kept it to myself. i wasn't just saying that to get back at you.

We aim to please.

hey pres, how are you?

Ohhh...half my age...how old do you think I am?

And on the man thing...that makes sense...

So...while you were reading the parody, you were picturing a MAN wearing a stiletto heel and then killing a monkey with it? I HAVE to assume that you hadn't read any of my other, "I am SUCH a girl," works before making your assumption...

ONLINE POLL TIME: I'd be interested to know how many men on the site would have chosen an online alter ego with an Immortal Elf Princess in mind.

IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol I honestly didn't know ... and yes i was picturing a man in stillettos! AND if your 29, i AM nearly half your age Did i tell you how much i love you arwen? When i get home from school it brightens my day to see that youv'e replied to my comments! You must really care about me!! lol

What's with all the weird comments here???

I won't pay attention to them, though. I'm just going to say that this parody was fine, and vote 5/5/5 on it.

Thanks a bunch, Joe!

How the hell did I miss this, you'd think I was having a baby or something!!! I figured I'd have at least seen the witty comments it caused. I just liked the poop-throwing monkey. Very off the wall and different from most of your other recent stuff (I enjoyed it).

Jeff...it's about damned time! Sheesh! Like having a baby is any kind of excuse...I was about to send you links to this and all of the other parodies I submitted while you were away. Okay...I don't really know that I was that prolific while you were gone...but I sure missed your comments! I waited at the edge of my seat for the entire month of April, just so that I could make it mandatory for you to read this...=) I figured that you and the monkey would bond...hehehe...thanks again!

( SOTM ) DKTOS

(SOTM) A quality parody! 555

(SOTM) "No animals were harmed during the writing of this parody" (I hope) 555.

(SOTM) Silly stuff, elf girl.

(SOTM) already voted, commented

SOTM...already voted and commented above

(SOTM) Still a fan of this one but the "feud" with Alyssa was bananas enough... well, maybe not enough, but if it continues for another year and gets some 500 more comments I'm sure Stuart McArthur will feel obliged to write a parody about it. :-)

(SOTM) Lots of funny monkey business here, both in the lyrics and the comments. I'll vote 5s just for the quality of the entertainment contained in the comments.

I've read and voted on this before, so I was just going to put "What Spaff said," but after going through these comments for the last two hours, I can't actually find anything Spaff said. Dammit. So lemme just say four things NOW:
(1) This is hilarious and one of your best.
(2) On YOU, the decay and elephant spray works. Keep it.
(3) How do I join Sluts United?
(4) Once I do, do I get some pussy frieds?

Still bonding with the monkey =)

(SOTM) I remember the news coverage of the animal rights protesters that erupted into pandemonium outside the courthouse during the civil suit the zoo filed... it was a Zoo Suit Riot! (insert groans here) Nice job, monkey-killer! :)

Utterly hilarious, Arwen! I can just imagine the zookeeper yelling "No, Arwen, I said prick the boil!" See Timinem's "I'm Sorry Llama" tune, too. 555 hours of dung shovellin'.

(SOTM) This song basically sums up my life. 555

(SOTM) Commented earlier, but still enjoy these monkeyshines.

(SOTM) Still love your hot monkey parodies.

(SOTM) I forgot this was the Alyssa thread - what an unexpected treat! - lots of funny lines, Arwen

(SOTM) Still right up there with the best, and YOU KNOW IT!! Just had a browse thru your comments and your "exchanges" with Alyssa...how do you do it? btw, you really should have told me about the whole being a guy thing; I'm very open minded..;-)

"...a mon-key fatality...made a dung sweepin' girl of me"......Say, that happened to me once. Long story. Even more delightful with the catfight in the comment section.

Thought I'd commented on this one already - another tour de force, Arwen.

(SOTM) Already commented
but I must say it was quite a commenting going on... I enjoyed reading this again and the new comments as well.

Red Ant…thanks for stopping by anyway!

DAK…thank you!

Agrimorfee…LOL!! I promise!

Scathe…silly’s what I do best…thanks!

Rick C…thanks again!

Dee Range…thanks again to you, too!

K1…I really don’t know that any of my comments sections will merit a parody by Stuart…but a girl can certainly dream…=) Thanks!!

Guy…it really is a goal of mine to make the comments sections as entertaining as they can be…in case the parody itself is a bit lackluster…=) Thanks!

Spaff…
1. Thanks…I’m somewhat partial to it…=)
2. My dream is to make it work for everyone…I’m working on a fragrance marketing plan with Lancome even as I type…
3. While I’ve been invited to be a keynote speaker at several of their functions, I am actually not a member…you’ll have to see one of the previously mentioned sluts about that. Just don’t accuse any of them (unfoundedly) of being a fan…
4. No. Why do you think I’ve refused to join?

Jeff…right on…I’ll leave you two alone, then.

Melhi…LOL! The media circus was half the fun, if you ask me…=) Thanks!

Luke…hehehe. Thanks!!

Charlie Decker…it started to sound familiar right around the stiletto heels, didn’t it? Maybe Alyssa was thinking of you when she accused me of being a man…

Rex…thanks a ton!

Johnny D…thank you!

Stuart…I think I am going to have to give Alyssa a commission for this one…=) Thanks!

Kristof…you’re right…I know it…; ) And as far as filling you in on my dual identity…I figured you’d found me out when the daily deliveries of roses died out…I’m SOOO happy to hear that you just ran out of money… ; )

Claude…LOL! By the way, the monkey fatality line was my pride and joy of this entire piece…glad you brought it up…=)

Phil…thank you!!

Thanks also to Tim...my original 80 line thank you was actually posted before you commented...but it was all in bold and I asked Chucky to fix it...and he did...like a champ. So...I wasn't ignoring you...I really appreciate your comment! Thanks!

Rough time at the zoo I see, and rather late I didn't need to add 'cause it's pretty obvious. Funny escapades at the zoo and a personalized comment for every post? You're beautiful Arwen, you rule. May you live long and continue to rule, and while your at the zoo, ask the Hippos whether they prefer 'hippopotomuses' or 'hippopotomi'.

2nz...=) I swear I just want to keep you in my pocket and carry you around everywhere I go...you ALWAYS make me smile...=) =) =) Thanks!! (and LOL on the hippo bit!!)

(ABC) Great song, makes me rethink the whole zoo experience.

Thanks MG!