“It’s Halloween, you gotta dress up now
You’ll have the cutest costume,” this my mom would vow
A little pixie on an autumn night
Would surely wow the neighbors trick or treating, right?

But it snowed every single freakin’ year
So my snow suit covered up my cute pixie rear
My ears got covered with muffs
M’hands got all lost in gloves

What’s Cinderella without her glass shoe?
“No Mom, you won’t convince me she wore moon boots, too!”
Can’t be a princess if my dress won’t show
None of those Disney stories have an Eskimo!

Had my crown hidden ‘neath a stocking cap
And my ballroom hair looked like eff-ing crap!
My ears got covered with muffs
M’hands got all lost in gloves

(do do-do-do)
Why did I bother to wear a costume at all?
(do do-do-do)
I put up so much effort, then covered up with a shawl!

(Instrumental)

Crazy!

I was WON-der Woman in wool socks
Looked more like a Bear when I was Goldilocks
My ballet dancer’s long underwear
Made sev’ral people laugh, and other people stare

Though I prayed, ev’ry year for warmer nights
Still the snow would fall and maximize my plight
My ears got covered with muffs
M’hands got all lost in gloves

So I cried ev’ry single Halloween
As I bundled up, with nothing TO be seen
My face all hidden in muffs
M’hands covered up with gloves