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Names -> Stupid Band Names -> H

These are the band names that we feel are just plain stupid. Bands pick the most absurd names, who wants to be known as a member of the "Butthole Surfers"? We only accept entries for this page that make fun of a band name. Just saying a band is lame (no matter how lame they might be) isn't a good reason for entry.

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Entries Beginning with H

Submitted by:
H.I.M. Stands for His Infernal Majesty. Doesn't that sound so much cooler than keeping it abbreviated? Stan
Haddaway I know it's the lead singer's last name, but I once read in a dictionary that a British term for intercourse is "have your end away." So in past tense, it could simply be like "We just HAD AWAY at that lady." Therefore some Brits could interpret this group's name in a sick manner. Kyle
Haircut 100 Personally, I think it sounds more like a barbershop than a band name. Fifi McFeef
Haircut One Hundred Um, so you're counting? pauhead
Halestorm Most people might assume this band's name is Hailstorm if they don't see it in print first. This is due in part to the fact that a hailstorm is a weather condition. Alex
Halifax Halifax is a city in Nova Scotia, Canada, but this band is American. (However, two of the members played in a hockey tournament there in the early 2000s, which is supposedly why they gave their band this name. Still, I think it's silly for an American band to name itself after a major city from outside the U.S.) K.N. Pepper
Hammerfall Reminds me of one of those cartoons where they drop the sledgehammers on people. Mac
Handsome Boy Modeling School Yes, this is an actual band name. But it sounds more like a place, you know, where young men would learn how to become models. Mr. Critic
Hanoi Rocks Hanoi doesn't rock. It's a Communist city. And besides, none of their members are Vietnamese. Rock Maninoff
Hard Rock Sofa This is an electro house DJ, not a hard rock band. Nat
Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes Harold Melvin was not the lead singer on any of their hits, as the name implies; Teddy Pendergrass was. Robert Jon Brown
Harpers Bizarre Some people who hear this name but haven't seen it in print will spell it Harper's Bazaar, since there's a fashion magazine called Harper's Bazaar. Candy Welty
Harpo Makes me think of a certain Marx brother, rather than a Swedish singer. Bob
Harvey Danger What the hell is it supposed to mean? It's like the name you would give a second rate stunt man. ChuckyG
Harvey Danger I thought it was a solo male artist at first (since the name looks like a first-and-last name, even if 'Danger' were a pseudonym), but it's a band. This is especially deceiving since the person you hear singing is male. David Sari
Haunted By Angels How can someone be haunted by angels? Angels are supposed to be nice and pure, healing wounds, all that. They must be really messed up god-fearing freaks! hekifier
Have Fun Dying Thank you for that. You too. What the heck!? Who would say that!? And these freaks use it for their band name. hekifier
Hawk Nelson The name suggests a solo performer, but it's a band. Cassandra
Hawkwind Makes me think of bird droppings. GlamRockNinjaLord
Haysi Fantayzee Pronounced "Hazy Fan-Tazey" (the "words" rhyme). The spelling is so wacky, no one's gonna know what it is if they hear it without first seeing it in print. Was this band trying to be clever by twisting the word "fantasy"?? No wonder they flopped. Jim Raveling
Haysi Fantayzee "Haysi" and "Fantayzee" are not words, and they're hard to spell. Candy Welty
He Is Legend Who is "legend"?? And what is this supposed to mean, anyways? Cassandra
Hear'Say What sort of name is that and just why is there an apostrophe? YASMR
The Heartbreakers Yes, there was a band simply known as The Heartbreakers. However, they might easily get confused with the late Tom Petty's band (which was actually formed a year after this band was)... especially since Tom's band was much more popular. Mr. Critic
Heartbreakers With Broken Hearts hmm.. actually it's original. precious
Heaven 17 Where are all the other 16 heavens? Furthermore, there weren't 17 people in the band to make the number, there were only 3 maximum.  Steve
The Heavy Reminds me of the character from Team Fortress 2... "I am Heavy Music Guy, and this is my band. It cost $400,000 for us to play at your venue... for twelve seconds." nosckaJ
The Heavy Metal Experience Incident Just "The Heavy Metal Experience" would be a quite long enough name and more fitting for a band. But tagging on "Incident" makes the name too long, and also makes it seem to refer to some single [Duh!] incident rather than to a band. Rosie Finch
Heidi This name implies one person (namely, a pseudonym for a female performer named Heidi), but this is actually a Visual Kei rock band, and none of its members are named Heidi. Daniel S.
Hellacopters I swear this band is real. Not only is it purposely misspelled, but one of the syllables being "hell" has some rather derogatory connotation. Mr. Critic
Hellogoodbye Sorry, but putting two opposite greeting words together is not very creative, especially for a band name. Mr. Critic
Hellogoodbye is that what the band members always say... "Hello, goodbye.. *pause* that name sounds cool" Mark
Helloween The name says it all if you can remember this bands one hit wonder it jammed back in the 80's. roland ehrlinger
Henry Cow It's a group (more than 1 person), not a solo male artist as the name implies. Yet another band that thinks it's cool to use a common first name followed by another word as its name! Nice try, guys. Susie Creamcheese
Her's The name looks awkward in a couple ways. It is grammatically incorrect, as the word "hers" is never spelled with an apostrophe; and the name being a female pronoun implies it is a group of women, but it is an all-men group instead. Sarah
The Herd That's what you call a group of cows, not a group of people. Clearly none of them are bovine animals. Mr. Critic
The Herd The name reminds me of a bunch of cows. Do the band members moo onstage? Candy Welty
Here Come The Mummies Just because they wrap themselves in dressing, it doesn't make them mummies. Brendan Fraser would be royally pissed.  Indy Gent
Hey Monday Addressing a day of the week as a phrase to turn into a band? I don't think Monday would answer! Not that that makes Monday different from any other day of the week. Farlow Maitland
High Inergy Most people would spell the second word as Energy if they hear it but haven't seen it in print. Candy Welty
The High-Lows Isn't this name an oxymoron? "High" is supposed to be the opposite of "Low", so therefore the name contradicts itself. Rosa
Highasakite Yet another band name with multiple words run together. Mr. Critic
Hipsway Most people who hear this name but haven't seen it in print will think it is Hip Sway, Hips Sway, or Hip's Way. Candy Welty
Hitler Stole My Potato This name really makes me wonder who came up with this, and what kind of drugs this person was on. Alexa
The Hives I generally avoid bands named after a skin condition. Lance Crackers
Hodges, James And Smith They're a female trio with each woman using only her last name. Most female singers who use only one name (Adele, Madonna, Rihanna, Cher, Jewel, etc.) use their first name or a nickname, not their last name. In addition, James is usually a man's first name, so it's misleading in that regard. Candy Welty
The Hold Steady Another lame attempt at turning a phrase into a noun. ("Hold steady" can't be a THING.) [See also: Shout Out Louds] Jonathan S.
Hole What kind of hole? I'm...not sure I want to know. Jonathan S.
Holly Johnson Holly is usually a female name, but this singer is a man, not a woman. Candy Welty
Hollywood Undead The only thing more messed up than their hockey masks is their name. JeReMy
Holy F**k There is an electronica group who have called themselves this. I hope I don't have to figure out why. It's just tasteless. GlamRockNinjaLord
Honest Bob And The Factory-To-Dealer Incentives A band name should be short and catchy, not so ridiculously long, that (depending on where it's printed), it would take up more than one row of text! (The name almost didn't even fit in the submission box.)  Jonathan S.
Honest Bob And The Factory-To-Dealer Incentives I think that's the entire band name, but none of the members of this Indie Rock group is named Bob and yet they are calling themselves honest...hmmm... GlamRockNinjaLord
Hoobastank Sounds like a made-up "redneck" word. (like the kind Jeff Foxworthy mentioned) Jonathan S.
Hoobastank It's gross. Sounds like a feminine hygiene problem. Landon
Hoobastank Sounds like an odd word someone would say when they walk into the restroom at any sporting event. Rychendroll
Hoobastank It's just plain stupid. Doesn't seem to mean anything, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. A. Person
Hoobastank I think that they wanted a name based on a word they invented in high school. Of course this is just jibberish that means nothing. Travis
Hoodie Allen Seems like a lame ripoff attempt of Woody Allen (a famous actor and director), who I'm surprised hasn't sued this guy. Quyjibo
The Hoosiers Normally I would've been honored to have a band named after the fine residents of Indiana. But these guys are from England. How would they feel if there was a band in our state called "The British"? Indy Gent
The Hooters The band claimed they named themselves after a musical instrument. Yeah, sure! (Wouldn't they make a great double bill with The Barenaked Ladies, though?) Greg G.
Hootie & the Blowfish Well, it's accurate. They do sorta blow...... hopefully not fish. I'll leave the "Hootie" part alone. Cerulean
Hootie And The Blowfish There is no one in the band named Hootie, and the only way blowfish makes sense is, if that is their favorite aquatic fish. Travis
Hootie And The Blowfish I dare you not to laugh when you read that. Chris Kuan
Hooverphonic Seriously, there is a group with this name. It sounds kinda awkward, and are they paying tribute to the vacuum cleaner company or the 31st U.S. President? Miss Elanius
Hope Lane Is A Dead End It's pretty long. But that isn't what bothers me. They are saying that hope lane is a dead end. Hope lane is wide open. What is this teaching the kids? That there is no hope in life? Travis
Horace Pinker The name looks like it could be an individual's first and last name, but this is a band. Carrie Ahn
Horse Feathers Horses don't have feathers. Elon Muskrat
HORSE the Band Horse was already taken. Tommy
Hot Butter It seems like it should be the name of a group, but it's just one person (Stan Free). He created this name to complement the title of his instrumental "Popcorn", which was a big hit in 1972. Sort of clever. But the name wouldn't work well with other song titles, except maybe a song called "Melt" or something similar. When I think of this name, I imagine something that's melted and messy. Candy Welty
Hot Chelle Rae None of the members' names are Chelle Rae. In fact, they're all guys! But they ARE hot, I'll give them that... flipside
Hot Hot Heat Oh, THAT'S clever. Of COURSE heat is hot! Heat is the condition of BEING hot! Easily one of the stupidest/most ill-conceived band names of all time. Jonathan S.
Hothouse Flowers Why name a male band after flowers that need to be in a house? That's a manly double strike. Clay Sicken
The Housemartins Can anyone tell me what a housemartin is? Lance Crackers
Howlin' Maggie It suggests an alias for a female singer, but it's an all-male group. Sweet Anne
Howlin' Maggie It was an all male quartet (with various lineup changes through its lifetime), not a female soloist as the name tends to suggest. Gail McFarland
Howling Bells Another "literally impossible" band name. Bells are incapable of actually howling. Mr. Critic
Howling Bells What? Are the trying to reference a lot of those "Howling" blues musicians that were hiding in juke joints of the old south before rock 'n' roll? The Skuz
Huckapoo Detractors could all too easily spoof the name by replacing its first syllable with something that rhymes with it. Or they could call it just plain poo.  Renee Keener
Hue and Cry Just another pair of seemingly-random three letter words put together with a conjunction. What's the point? Joe
Huelyn Duvall This name sounds like it could be a woman's name, but the singer is a man. Candy Welty
Huey You could easily confuse this guy (a rapper) with Huey Lewis, who is much more well-known. Furthermore, this guy's real name is Lawrence Franks, so where does the name Huey come from? Mr. Whatever
Huffamoose I think of "huff a moose", but how does one huff a moose? I probably don't even want to know! Cassandra
The Human Beinz This name (if not seen in print) is likely to be interpreted as The Human Beings or maybe even The Human Beans! Candy Welty
Human League Uh....well obviously they'll be all human...I mean, no intelligent life has been found outside this planet...come to think of it, there isn't much intelligent life HERE, either...look at the people that came up with this band name for instance... Bye-Gon Jinx
Human Waste Does their music resemble human waste?! This name makes me *not* want to listen to them. Candy Welty
Human Waste Project I'm sorry, that just sounds completely sickening. Hank E. Panky
Hurray For The Riff Raff How does "Riff Raff" have any connotations that would inspire much of anyone to hurry for the sake of those so designated? Hardly could one expect this name to gave a band much appeal. Jean Goodsprings
Hush Another ambiguous performer name. There are three known music acts with this name: (1) an Australian glam band; (2) an American male rapper of multicultural descent; and (3) a male Taiwanese singer. Someone could confuse any of these performers with a certain Deep Purple hit song. Pete Worst
The Hush Sound Isn't that essentially and oxymoron? Doesn't hush mean to cease making sound? Priscilla Gadsden

Other Pages: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Misc.

New entries in this section are currently reviewed by nally. Previous editors (if any) are listed on the editors page.

Submissions Are Accepted Again

Much like the stupid song lyrics page, I get a lot of submissions for this page. More than I can really handle. The problem is that I get a lot of "Blink 182 is stupid 'cuz I said so" submissions, which I have to waste time deleting (though not much). I also get a lot of submissions that just aren't funny. I guess the real problem is that the word stupid can mean so many things, and hence every band name could be considered stupid.

So in short, don't bother sending me stupid email about this stupid page, or you're stupid.

If you have a creative/humorous idea, please submit it.