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Names -> Stupid Band Names -> J

These are the band names that we feel are just plain stupid. Bands pick the most absurd names, who wants to be known as a member of the "Butthole Surfers"? We only accept entries for this page that make fun of a band name. Just saying a band is lame (no matter how lame they might be) isn't a good reason for entry.

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Entries Beginning with J

Name
 
Description
 
Submitted by:
J-Lo Why does she have to abbreviate her name? Sounds like Jell-O. I guess there's always room for a performer named Jell-O...I mean, J-Lo! Vic George
J-Lo ...and we'll call Alanis Morisette A-Mo, Elton John E-Jo, Janet Jackson J-Ja...come on, Jennifer!  Unicorn
J. Lo Sorry, Jen, but just cause you change your name doesn't mean that people will change their opinion of you. Danielle
J.J. Jackson You'd think that both J's stood for names starting with said letter, but his first and middle names are Jerome Louis, so where does that second "J" come from? Also, there was a famous radio personality (and later MTV VJ) by this name, and both J's actually stood for names beginning with that letter. Keira Dayley
Ja-kki They named their band after their lead singer Jacqueline, so why didn't they call the band Jackie and make it easy to spell? They made the spelling problem even worse by putting a dash in their name. Candy Welty
Jaci Velasquez She sings in both English and Spanish, but "Jaci" doesn't spell anything that sounds like a name in either language. Listeners in at least two languages must be scratching their heads over how to pronounce her first name! Her real name is Jacquelyn Davette Velasquez. That makes her first name more or less English anglicized from French, her middle name French, and her last name Spanish. Maybe she's trying to spell the sound of "Jackie" as a nickname for "Jacquelyn", but "c" before "i" doesn't doesn't represent a "k" sound in English, French, or Spanish! (In Spanish it would be pronounced "HAH-see"...and in English, "Jassy"? or "JAY-see"?) Gretchen Wieners
Jackie Lee While the name itself isn't stupid, what *is* stupid is that a second performer decided to use the name Jackie Lee after there had already been a Jackie Lee who had a hit song called "Happy Vacation" in 1959. And Jackie Lee isn't even the second singer's real name (it's Earl Nelson), so he should have chosen a different name. The second Jackie Lee had a hit called "The Duck" in 1965. Candy Welty
The Jaggerz Most people who hear this name but haven't seen it in print will think there's an "s" at the end of the name, not a "z." Some might also associate it with Mick Jagger. Candy Welty
The Jam You want toast with that? Matt
James 1) It implies a solo male artist, but it's a group. 2) If you try searching for them online, you'll get all the performers with James (either as a first or last name) in them, as another submitter has explained. Mr. Critic
James Not particularly easy to remember, gets confused with James Taylor, James Dean, Etta James, anyone with the first or last name "James", any place names, any companies, etc.. it's very hard to search for on the Internet! And there's six of them as well. Ask a James fan "What do you think of him?" and he'll punch you! Dan Abnormal
James & Bobby Purify Only one of them (James) is surnamed Purify. Candy Welty
James Gang It sorta looks like a solo performer's name, since James is a common male given name. But this is a band. Cassandra
Jamestown Massacre It's in bad taste to name a band for an awful event. Candy Welty
Jan And Kjeld They're a Danish duo who hit the American charts in 1960. But most people who don't know Danish would find it hard to spell Kjeld correctly if they heard the name but haven't seen the spelling. Candy Welty
Jane's Addiction We shouldn't be supporting addictions. We should support Jane getting off drugs.  Travis
Jazz Is Dead  I can imagine a couple of old men who were born in the 1920s protesting to change their name outside venues. How could they name their band after a genre with a rich history?!?! Devin
Jefferson Airplane/
Jefferson Starship/
Starship
 Okay, first rule of Band Names: Never change the name of your band! Second rule of Band Names: Never change the name of your band! Last rule of Band Names: don't give your band a name that could possibly be the name of a PBS kid's show. pauhead
Jehovah's Waitresses If you're going to make fun of religious groups, go after the big ones! El Davo
Jerryo People who hear this name but haven't seen it in print might think it is Jerry O. His real name is Jerry Murray, so Jerry M. would be more appropriate. Candy Welty
Jesse James As another submitter has mentioned, it's a band using a name that could easily be misconstrued as that of a solo performer. But it was also the name of other well-known people, such as a 19th century outlaw, and a Tv personality who became well-known after the band had formed. Still, naming a band entirely after a famous person (no matter how many people are famously known by that name) can be problematic. Ivana Tinkl
Jesse James The name suggests a solo male performer, but it turns out to be a duo. Chris
Jessie J Her real name is Jessica Ellen Cornish, so where does that second J come from? (In addition, there was a musician known as Jessy J (pronounced the same way), so this provides phonetic ambiguity.) Candy Welty
Jesus Christ Smokes Holy Gasoline First rule of band names : No religious reference, someone is bound to take offence. Second rule of band names : Don't pick your words out of the hat randomly. Third rule of band names : Surely Austrian bands need more Austrian names. Bobo
Jesus Jones Sounds like a white Christian Rap singer, but is actually a 1990's Pop band. GRNL
Jesus Jones That's it, take a religious leader's name and attach a common surname to it. You might as well have called your band "Buddha Smith", "Muhammad Davis", or "Confucious Wilson." Cerulean
Jet It's way too similar to The Jets, a band that existed two decades before this one came along. Using the singular version of another band name that's already taken (which is exactly what this is), can get somewhat confusing. (Also, it was the name of a Paul McCartney song from the 70's.) Mr. Critic
Jibbs Sounds to me like a brand of peanut butter. hekifier
Jim Kirk And The TM Singers Almost no one who hears or sees this name will know that TM refers to a company called TM Communications. Candy Welty
Jimmie's Chicken Shack Sounds like the snack bar at the annual fair in GREENBOUGH ALABAMA. Joker
Jimmie's Chicken Shack Sounds like a fast food restaurant! Welcome to Jimmy's Chicken Shack, can I take your order? Vesta84
Jimmy Eat World How big is Jimmy he can eat the whole world? Nurul
Jimmy Eat World If Jimmy eats the world, there will be no one left to listen to his music.... Rychendroll
Jimmy Eat World How hungry are you? He wasn't kidding when he said "I could eat a horse". In fact, he went much further than eating a horse. Travis
Jimmy Eat World Jimmy Eat World? How fat does this Jimmy guy have to be? Godzilla Eat World would make more sense, but whatever. Also, the initials spell JEW. Don't think that's supposed to mean anything though. Tony
Jimmy the Hoover Malcolm McLaren named them. He also named the Sex Pistols. Somehow Jimmy the Hoover doesn't quite have the same impact. Chris
Jimmy Underpass And The Six Way's Combo This was a name which Black Sabbath's manager came up with, luckily the group didn't agree with it. Can you imagine asking for a CD? "can I have a Jimmy Underpass and the 6 way's combo CD please?" Mark
JJ72 Sounds like a tragically very, very big bra size. If you were to have this particular size, you would probably explode! Dan Abnormal
Jo Jo Gunne This name suggests a solo performer, but actually the band is a rock quartet. No one in the band has this name. Candy Welty
Job For A Cowboy Job For A Cowboy sounds like a country western name... Not like a name for a Deathcore band... Maggot army
Job For A Cowboy Because nothing says "death metal" like the old west. hamp
Joe I'm all for singers going by a one-name moniker (even if it's their real first name), but this particular example is way too ambiguous. If you try to search for him on most sites, you'll get all performers whose first names are Joe... such as Joe Jackson, Joe Cocker, etc. Cassandra
Joey Bada$$ Rap names are getting worse and worse. Badass is bad enough, but what's with rappers using dollar signs in their name? Are they that obsessed with money? JD
John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band Nothing wrong with Cafferty's name, but it must have been awfully difficult for Cafferty to get those rodents to play their instruments and be his back-up band?  Peter
John Legend His last name is actually Stephens. Is this some kind of vanity complex he's got here? Crafthead
Johnnie & Joe This name suggests two male performers, but Johnnie is a woman. Candy Welty
Johnny Socko Yet another name that suggests a solo artist but is really a band. What is it with these people?? Mr. Critic
The Joneses No one in this band is surnamed Jones. Candy Welty
Jonny This was an actual group, no lie. The name could easily be mistaken as pertaining to a solo male performer (even a rapper). Orville Beddenrocker
Juice Newton Shall we drink her for breakfast? If we did, what percentages or our recommended daily allowances of vitamins would she supply? Brenda Cohn
The Juice To Make It Happen I have no clue what this means, and I'm pretty sure you don't, either. Jonathan S.
Jukebox The Ghost Yet another example of random words being thrown together. This is a real band, no lie. Alex
Jump, Little Children Just like "Clap Your Hands Say Yeah", this is simply an instruction. Who in their right mind would give their band a name like that?! Joe Siebert
Jump-Little-Children Little children don't want to be bossed around. testing
Jump5 Jump five what? Feet into the air? Feet forward in a long jump? Spaces on a gameboard? Mac
Jungle Brothers Another band name that is a misnomer in more ways than one. None of the members have Jungle as a surname (not even as a pseudonym), and none of them are related as brothers. Joe King
Jurassic 5 Clearly they're not dinosaurs...but maybe they had some crazy obssession with it or something? Timmy
Just Plain Cheese They just wanted to clarify that they want just plain cheese. Not cheese and crackers or a ham and cheese sandwich. Just plain cheese. Travis
Just Surrender Another band name which is a command. Not very creative at all. Mr. Critic
Justin Sane Did the Anti-Flag guitar player really have to think up such an extreme name as this? Justin Sane said in a certain way becomes "Just Insane". It's as mad as it appears! a Stranger
The Justus League Anyone who hears this rap group's name without first seeing it in print will think it's the Justice League, so it's misleading in that regard. Mr. Critic

Other Pages: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Misc.

New entries in this section are currently reviewed by nally. Previous editors (if any) are listed on the editors page.

Submissions Are Accepted Again

Much like the stupid song lyrics page, I get a lot of submissions for this page. More than I can really handle. The problem is that I get a lot of "Blink 182 is stupid 'cuz I said so" submissions, which I have to waste time deleting (though not much). I also get a lot of submissions that just aren't funny. I guess the real problem is that the word stupid can mean so many things, and hence every band name could be considered stupid.

So in short, don't bother sending me stupid email about this stupid page, or you're stupid.

If you have a creative/humorous idea, please submit it.