[intro]

I know an author and she goes by name of Cat
She wants some Matter Horns (her range is kinda flat!)
I've seen the time pass by; how quickly she has grown
Nearly unstoppable - at just sixteen years old!

I see a line of "Cars"; the true love of the Cat*
You might think it weird? No! (well, just a little whack!)
'least Rick's not a chowder head, or worse, a Guhlee Man
No time to take a paws for way too much time on hand!*

I take a closer look and see a frisky Cat
And like the real ones there's so much that makes her mad!
Shower time, ideas came, and poor Bush got slammed by Cat...
...best stop that joke right there before I wind up slapped!

She's written satire exposing those crazy cults,
A "wreck" of a song about Bode and how he choked
If you look hard enough, you'll see a spoof of N00Bs
But no one could miss that yo mama's butt is huge!

I see some candy and I think it's a Kit-Kat
I'll bet that with that name you prob'ly catch some flack.**
I'm almost out of time here for my feline roast
So I will wrap this up: "For Cat, here is a toast!"

[sound of cats meowing uncontrollably as I use the
electric wine bottle opener and pour cyber drinks]

One day she'll be famous!
Name is Cat!
Cat's alright!
That we know!
Keep on making puns!

Keep feeding her 9 Lives!

She has entertained us, shamed us: heinous!
Lady Cat!

Yeah!

[more meowing sounds for fade out]