The legend lives on from Torino on down
To the grand slopes of Sestriere Colle
A crazy young drunk shattered hopes with a clunk
And in skiing, projected his folly

'06 was the date, from the Primary State
Came the wildest of all U.S. skiers
Yes, Time and Newsweek made him seem like a freak
But Nike ads hyped him to be fi-erce

When the Games began, all the newsies they ran
In his RV, they constantly lingered
They continued to hype, despite all of his gripes
And the fact that he gave them the finger

First event seemed a thrill, he went into downhill
With all of his American henchmen,
He looked fine on the lift, but he finished in fifth,
And what's more, he got beat by a Frenchman!

He regained his spine to ski in the combined
And in the downhill part, he looked pretty
But slalom was DQ'ed, and the people all booed
And he got showed up by Ted Lig-et-y

Super-G was next, and he became perplexed
Since his gold drought had already begun
About ten feet below, he flipped out in the snow
Acrobats would be proud of THAT run!

Up next was the giant, though he looked defiant,
Sixth place, and his attitude grew mean-ah
There wasn't a doubt that ol' Bode's burned out
From the bars with the hot signorinas

The fans they all moped, so the coaches just hoped
That in slalom, he'd surely be killer
But it was too late, once he straddled that gate
Came the wreck of that dude Bode Miller!

Does anyone know where the medals all go
When our ski team sucks more than is beara(ble)
He should've followed rules like gold-medal chick Jules
(Or perhaps should've worn a tiara!)

Since our count was thin, we wonder "Who DID win?"
"Twas the Austrians, like Hermann Maier
To podium he strode, he, unlike our friend Bode,
Went the LITERAL meaning of "higher!"

He went back in his hole, to reporters he told
That he wasn't angry or insane-y
But since he did lose, he just became old news
CNN shifted cov'rage to Cheney

Will he milk his new fame or just tarnish his name?
This is something not even psychics know
But I have a hint that he might do a stint
On a VH1 re-al-i-ty show!

And if or when in two-thousand-and-ten
He comes back, will we cheer or despise him?
But it's an old dream, nobody on our team
Will even attempt to recognize him!

His skis weren't sublime, it's a matter of time
'Till he just becomes trivia filler
Is spring training here yet? Hopefully we'll forget
'Bout the wreck of that dude Bode Miller!