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Song Parodies -> "Guhlee Mahn"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Guhlee Mahn"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I think Johnny D possessed me to write this parody. And I apologize if it's not as good as I would've wanted, I had to finish it early since I'm out of town next week, sorry. (this is my entry for Tomario's contest)
It's year "03 in the Golden State
The voters show their discontent
And they think that they might need a change
"The guv needs a more muscular bent!"

So along comes an Austrian movie star
His accent, it's thick and it's loud
But with Coleman and Flynt
Wanting to try the stint
He seems like the best of the crowd!

Ah-nold, Ah-noldy-ah...
Ah-nold, noldy-Ah, Ah-Ah-nold

"Listen, Herr Gray, you're a guhlee mahn!"
This candidate declares,
"Vimp, you look like you're down vith a malady,
Vile I could be wrest-a-ling bears!"

Few months, sure enough, it's a big landslide
He shows that he's buff and tanned
But he's quick with a grope, and the public can't cope
"Cause he could crush a girl with one hand!

But while the paparazzi are grilling him
His eyes dart to a babe in the mass
Though they ask him "bout issues, his real thoughts are
Just "I vood like to tap dat a*s!"

Ah-nold, Ah-noldy-ah...
Ah-nold, noldy-Ah, Ah-Ah-nold

Now Arnie won't stop at just governor
His dreams are much bigger, he says
And although it's illegal, he wants to be regal
And become our king...I mean prez!

And he shows off his way-far-right politics
As the congressmen try to amend
And the people know it's cause for panicking
But his speech they still can't comprehend!

"You disagree? You're a guhlee mahn!"
Arnie shouts to the stars,
"Vat's so wrong vith your prez being foreign, eh?
Current one seems like he's from Mars!"

Oh he may be a big multi-millionaire
With some huge fancy cars and a yacht
But it's due to his fame that the guv he became
(And not him, but his famous robot!)

And his movies bomb in the ticket line
While the bills he signs stir up a storm
And he tries to evade the reporters' parade
But in Cali, that seems like the norm!

Ah-nold, Ah-noldy-ah...
Ah-nold, noldy-Ah, Ah-Ah-nold

Yet he still disses his "guhlee mahn,"
Arnie's scapegoat of choice,
But we all know that this cliche of cliches
Sounds even more dumb with that voice!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
EXCELLENT! Best Piano Man parody I've encountered. 555
Paul Robinson - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Geez, Cat - from your comment I was expecting to encounter some type of loose ends or pacing glitchie or awkward phrasing or maybe some spot not quite as funny as it could have been, or an incorrect word usage, or maybe some difficulty in the places you phoneticized "Ah-nuld's" words, or a spelling error, or maybe some bad punctuation, or for Chrissakes at LEAST a stinking TYPO...but, seems just about perfectly executed and cleanly formatted....Oh, and yes, Really funny. So I'm giving you five's here...OH...WAIT...A didn't go through and re-type all the apostrophes that the sites program turns into quotation marks when you go to the "Preview" mode...OK, now I'm happy. Seriously, excellent job - hope whatever your "out of town" engagement is turns out to be what you wanted...
alvin rhodes - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
love it....and yeah, i live in cali...5s
Sir Bertram the Sword-Dropper - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
I've seen Arnold in Political Action only a couple of times. He seems like a real bratwurst. 555
Michael Pacholek - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Cat, when it comes to writing parodies... you... are... a machine! And have you seen Arnold lately? Long time has gone, and he is flab! Maybe they should've elected Lou Ferrigno as Governor. He's still in bodybuilder shape, he's smarter, he's a better actor, and, apparently, he hears better than Ahnold. And he's actually eligible for the Presidency. But memo to the world's mischief-makers: Don't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
PMS - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
You are the Parod-ater! 555
Lionel Mertens - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
The only thing I'd like to hear recorded more than this parody is the pillow talk that he Maria exchange. 5's
Stephen Harrington - July 18, 2006 - Report this comment
5s for you.
tomario - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
dont mean to be thick but whats a "guhlee" i know what a gooley is. anyway it doesn't detract from the fact that it is a parody from the top drawer.has this comp brought the best out of parodeers or has it been there all the time ? well impressed with the parody cat - your a legend !
Jeff Reuben - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
A Guhlee Mahn is a girly man as spoken by a certain Austrian maybe you have to be thick (like Ahnold) to get it =)
Kristof Robertson - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Love love loved this! Always a fun song to parody, and you did an amazing job with it. 555
Matthias - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
The Mars line... Ah, so perfect!
Johnny D - July 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(Parody Challenge) I like a good Piano Man parody -- and this is a GOOD one! Also, a good Ahhnold parody puts a grin on my chin as well. You hit all the right notes with this one, Cat. 5s!
bobpiecheese - July 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(Great Parody Challenge) I also like a good Piano Man parody - it's one of the few old songs that I KNOW - and this one wasn't bad. I'm not saying the pacing wasn't good (it was brilliant), but it's hard for a 15-year-old Aussie to have a laugh about American politics. At least you'll get votes from the people who get this. Just don't get all worked up like Rick did last SOTM.
Red Ant - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent work, Cat! I'd love to sing this along to TOS, but alas disc 1 of my BJ Greatest Hits has sprouted feet and is hiding from me, but from memory this flowed really well. Fahves!
BR>As a side note to Paul Robinson, try using Notepad and spell-check using the software on (or your e-mail's); you shouldn't have to retype apostrophes.
Stuart McArthur - July 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(PC) lovely, witty and topical Cat (or topical enough) and some great digs - "Just "I vood like to tap dat a*s!" " and you struck gold with the idea - 555
Jeff Reuben - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Very well done...loved the "quick with a grope" line!

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