Real Lyrics -> Funniest -> Eminem
These are lyrics by Eminem that we think are kind of funny.
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Eminem's, "'Ass like that'"
The Funny Lyrics:
My peepee goes boing,boing,boing.
Why They're funny:
I dont know they just are
Submitted by: brittany
Eminem's, "'Forgot about Dre'"
The Funny Lyrics:
'Chicka Chicka Chicka Slim Shady, hotter then a set of twin babies.'
Why They're funny:
*hrm* slim! Just the guy I was looking for, maybe you can tell me the obsession with famous people and touching little children?
Submitted by: Derekpac Shakur
Eminem's, "Ass Like That"
The Funny Lyrics:
Don't treat me like a murderer I just like to pee/pee pee yes, I make R&B/ I sing song it go ringy chong ah, ching chong, chong, chong ching/ Psyche, I joke I kid I kid/ if I offend please forgive./ For I am Triumph The Puppet Dog , I am a mere puppet/ I can an say anything and you will love it.
Why They're funny:
The lyrics explain themselves!! I think that the whole song is pretty much funny but those are the funniest parts of the song!!!!!
Submitted by: E.D.S
Eminem's, "Ass Like That"
The Funny Lyrics:
I sing song, it go Ring-a-Chong, a-Ching-Chong-Chong-Chong Ching Psych I joke, I joke, I keed, I keed! If I offend, I'm sorry, please please forgive For I am Triumph the Puppet Dog, I am a mere puppet I can get away anything I say and you will love it!
Why They're funny:
That's funny I dont care who you are
Submitted by: Nate W.
Eminem's, "Big Weenie"
The Funny Lyrics:
My point is,if you say mean things,the weenie will shrink
Why They're funny:
you can figure it out by yourself
Submitted by: Bluehoobs
Eminem's, "Brain Damage"
The Funny Lyrics:
I went deaf, and my left ear started to bleed
My mother started screaming, 'What are you on, drugs?!
Look at you, you're getting blood all over my rug!'
My mother started screaming, 'What are you on, drugs?!
Look at you, you're getting blood all over my rug!'
Why They're funny:
self-explanatory
Submitted by: S.I.J.
Eminem's, "Buisness"
The Funny Lyrics:
Like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans!
Why They're funny:
lol sexist i spose but this guy cracks me up
Submitted by: dan
Eminem's, "Criminal"
The Funny Lyrics:
If I ever gave a f***, I'd shave my nuts
Tuck my d**k in between my legs and cluck
Tuck my d**k in between my legs and cluck
Why They're funny:
'Nuff said.
Submitted by: Kitaroh
Eminem's, "Drug Ballad"
The Funny Lyrics:
Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot, looking for life no this planet sir... no sign of it, all i see is a bunch of smoke flyin and im so high i might die if i go by it..
Why They're funny:
classic.
Submitted by: Mitch
Eminem's, "Guilty Consience"
The Funny Lyrics:
Eminem: 'You gonna take advice from somebody who was charged with gun possession?'?
Dre: 'Why you?'?
Eminem: 'Ah ah! Temper temper! Did you think I wouldn't remember?
How the hell are you gonna tell this guy not to be violent?'?
Dre: 'Because he don't need to go the same route that I did.
Been there. Done that. There's no need for him to be violent.'
Dre: 'Why you?'?
Eminem: 'Ah ah! Temper temper! Did you think I wouldn't remember?
How the hell are you gonna tell this guy not to be violent?'?
Dre: 'Because he don't need to go the same route that I did.
Been there. Done that. There's no need for him to be violent.'
Why They're funny:
Eminem wasn't even around when Dre was popular so how could he know about his past?
Submitted by: Celeste
Eminem's, "I'm Shady"
The Funny Lyrics:
I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful, I like birds, bees, I like people, I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful Like when my teacher sucked me weewee in pre-school
Why They're funny:
Trust Eminem to think of something this warped! I love the song it's so funny, listen to it!
Submitted by: mArIa
Eminem's, "If I Get Locked Up Tonight"
The Funny Lyrics:
my minds got a mind of its own sometimes i cant find it at home it hides in the stove Brain: Hello, where you at?
Why They're funny:
This is tha funniest thing ive ever heard, listen to the song and you'll know what i mean, i can just imagine eminem opening a stove with a brain in there with a face saying 'hello where u at'
Submitted by: Mike Hawk
Eminem's, "Im Back"
The Funny Lyrics:
Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this! I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her and have a son and a new brother at the same time and just say that it ain't mine
Why They're funny:
omg its just sooo funny. but sic
Submitted by: chadthegreat
Eminem's, "Just Lose It"
The Funny Lyrics:
Come here little kiddies, On my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new rap?
And I don't mean rap as in a new case of child molestation accusation
(ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
No worries, papa's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to make noise?
I done touched on everything, but little boys
That's not a stab at Michael
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Guess who's back with a brand new rap?
And I don't mean rap as in a new case of child molestation accusation
(ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
No worries, papa's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to make noise?
I done touched on everything, but little boys
That's not a stab at Michael
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Why They're funny:
this is so hilarious to me...i mean come on! this guy has no ends to his talents...he's definately off the chainz! lmao...say he has touched on everything but little boys then has the heart to say its not a stab at Michael....rofl....say its just cuz he's a little crazy...lmao lmao lmao this guy is great...i love him to death!
Submitted by: Alex
Eminem's, "Just Lose It"
The Funny Lyrics:
Give a little poot-poot! it's okay (fart) oops my cd just skipped And everyone heard you let one rip
Why They're funny:
when i first read the lyrics i was thinking 'what the heck' did eminem go temporarily insane while he was writing this? the chorus is really stupid as well. oh if it were funnier i would've shat myself
Submitted by: the_conqueror_of_parodies
Eminem's, "Just Lose It"
The Funny Lyrics:
Now snap back to reality, look it's B. Rabbit he Oh you signed me up to battle? I'm a grown man Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba I don't have any lines to go right here so Chubba tubba tell me fellas (what?), fellas (what?) Grab your left, make your right one jealous (what?) Black girls, white girls, skinny girls, fat girls Tall girls, small girls, I'm calling all girls Everyone report to the dance floor It's your chance for, a little romance or Butt squeezin', it's the season Just go 'aah aah aah aah', it's so appeasing
Why They're funny:
self-explanitory
Submitted by: lizzy
Eminem's, "Just Lose It"
The Funny Lyrics:
fellas grab your left nut make the right one jealous
Why They're funny:
It just sounds funny,and i could see Eminem doing something like that
Submitted by: rowdy_rebel
Eminem's, "Just Lose It"
The Funny Lyrics:
fellas what,fellas grab your left nut make your right one jealous
Why They're funny:
bcause it is
Submitted by: adam dalton
Eminem's, "Just Lose It"
The Funny Lyrics:
im gonna make you dance here's your chance yea boy shake that thang oops i mean girl girl girl girl
Why They're funny:
lmao whoo dats funny messin wit micheal jackson
Submitted by: B.B.P
Eminem's, "Ken Kaniff"
The Funny Lyrics:
Its a man getting his d*ck sucked and Eminem tapes it
Why They're funny:
The whole song is pretty damn funny
Submitted by: Leanne
Eminem's, "Kill You"
The Funny Lyrics:
Ha ha ha. I'm just playing, ladies. You know I love you.
Why They're funny:
This at the end of a song in which half the chorus is 'b*tch I'm-a kill you!'...it adds a bit of humorous irony to the song.
Submitted by: S.I.J.
Eminem's, "My Dad's Gone Crazy"
The Funny Lyrics:
It's like my mother always told me,
rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana
rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana
Why They're funny:
how true
Submitted by: outback rebel
Eminem's, "My Dads Gone Crazy"
The Funny Lyrics:
It's like my mother always told me, rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana
Why They're funny:
i heard that more then once...ohhhh like today
Submitted by: Muffins rock!
Eminem's, "My Fault"
The Funny Lyrics:
Sue: I'm twenty-six years old and I'm not married
I don't even have any kids and I can't cook
Eminem: I'm over here Sue, you're talkin to the plant, look!
I don't even have any kids and I can't cook
Eminem: I'm over here Sue, you're talkin to the plant, look!
Why They're funny:
Cracks Me up every time
Submitted by: Jammy
Eminem's, "My Name Is"
The Funny Lyrics:
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (bang!)
Why They're funny:
that actually sounds like somethin he wud do. hes a genius!
Submitted by: erm...ill just ask my mum
Eminem's, "My Name Is"
The Funny Lyrics:
My english teacher wanted to have sex in junior high,
the only problem was,
my english teacher was a guy
the only problem was,
my english teacher was a guy
Why They're funny:
hahaha
Submitted by: gangsta
Eminem's, "Puke"
The Funny Lyrics:
[Sounds of someone puking] There I go--thinking of you again
Why They're funny:
c'mon, it's self-explainitory
Submitted by: mara
Eminem's, "Rain Man"
The Funny Lyrics:
But he tripped, fell, slipped and his penis went in His teeny tiny little round hiney but he didn't mean it But his little weenie flinched just a little bit And I don't mean to go in into any more details but What if he pictured it as a females butt? Is that gay? I just need to clear things up Til then i'll just walk around with a manly strut because...
Why They're funny:
I dunno, for some reason I just find that to be funny. It's sad that I can actually see that happening. Its all good though because Em's the best there is.
Submitted by: Holly
Eminem's, "Rain man"
The Funny Lyrics:
I got it, high five Nick Lachey Stuck a pen in Jessica's head and walked away And she blew around the room like a balloon-a Grabbed the last can of chicken tuna Out the trash can and screw my Head is straight back to the Neverland Ranch With a peanut butter, jelly, chicken, tuna sandwhich And I don't gotta make no god damn sense I just did a whole song and I didn't say
Why They're funny:
oh my gosh this makes me crack up every single time. Its just so funny. 'is it chicken or is it tuna' we will never no!!!
Submitted by: xXdont eat me!xX
Eminem's, "Remember Me?"
The Funny Lyrics:
When I go out, I'm-a go out shooting
I don't mean when I die,
I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I don't mean when I die,
I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
Why They're funny:
self-explanatory
Submitted by: S.I.J.
Eminem's, "Role Model"
The Funny Lyrics:
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee!
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?!
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree!
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?!
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree!
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me
Why They're funny:
Even funnier when you consider that many DO want to grow up just like him.
Submitted by: My name is Kenny
Eminem's, "Role Model"
The Funny Lyrics:
Mother? Are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Why They're funny:
For a second, before you hear the second line, you almost think he means it...
Submitted by: S.I.J.
Eminem's, "Square Dance"
The Funny Lyrics:
Ain't nobody hotter and so on and yada yada
God I talk alotta hum de la la la la...
God I talk alotta hum de la la la la...
Why They're funny:
Eminem pulls through once again with incredibly stupid, yet funny lyrics. Actually, I'm not sure just /why/ this strikes me so funny, but it just does...
Submitted by: Lieselette
Eminem's, "Square Dance"
The Funny Lyrics:
Gotta talk a lotta hum de le la la la oochie walla walla mm de da da da da
Why They're funny:
self explanitory
Submitted by: Alexis
Eminem's, "The Kids"
The Funny Lyrics:
My penis is the size of a peanut: have you seen it?
F*** no, you aint seen it!
It's the size of a peanut!
F*** no, you aint seen it!
It's the size of a peanut!
Why They're funny:
'Nuff said: this song is totally hilarious. Have a listen.
Submitted by: Nancygal
Eminem's, "The Kids"
The Funny Lyrics:
Speaking of peanuts
You know what else is bad for squirrels?
Esctasy, it's the worst drug in the world
You know what else is bad for squirrels?
Esctasy, it's the worst drug in the world
Why They're funny:
Just a bit random
Submitted by: mike
Eminem's, "The Way I Am"
The Funny Lyrics:
'The media immediately points a finger at me, so I point one back at um, not the index or the ring or the pinky or thumb, Its the one you put up when you don't give a
Why They're funny:
Self-explanatory
Submitted by: Jake
Eminem's, "The Way I Am"
The Funny Lyrics:
and it seems like the media immediately
points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
Why They're funny:
before i hear the next line, i always just picture some media person pointing an actual finger (the pointer - 1st finger) at him and him just doing it back all mad and sarcastic. it cracks me up everytime. cuz it's like oooh... haha.
Submitted by: nic h
Eminem's, "Who Knew"
The Funny Lyrics:
But don't blame me when lil' Eric jumps off of the terrace You shoulda been watchin him - apparently you ain't parents
Why They're funny:
DUDE!! What is with this Eric guy? he's in like all ur songs that talk about kids. What kinda moron jumps off a terrace. Gosh! And technically if his parents were watching him like that, they'd be over protective, oh and eminem, why in the world would they blame you? did u encourage little eric to jump off a terrace? I dont think so! thats why its so funny!
Submitted by: parody_MASTA
Eminem's, "Who Knew"
The Funny Lyrics:
But don't blame me when lil' Eric jumps off of the terrace
You shoulda been watchin him - apparently you ain't parents
You shoulda been watchin him - apparently you ain't parents
Why They're funny:
This is taking the mick out of all the people who blame other people for them being bad parents.
Submitted by: YASMR
Eminem's, "Who Knew"
The Funny Lyrics:
Oh you want me watch my mouth?
Take my f***ing eyeballs out and turn them around
Take my f***ing eyeballs out and turn them around
Why They're funny:
It's just really funny because you can picture him taking his eyeballs out to watch his mouth.
Submitted by: Bobie
Eminem's, "Without Me"
The Funny Lyrics:
I created a monster, cuz nobody wants to See Marshall no more they want Shady I'm chopped liver
Why They're funny:
self explanatory
Submitted by: Evil Lil' Angel
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